How to Talk About Your Problems
We all love stories. We are conditioned to connect with them. Every show we binge, book we read, or game we watch is full of stories and heroes for us to root for.
But there’s one I want to focus on in particular. Telling a story when you want people to understand your problems.
Here are three quick ways to structure your stories:
Start with you
Even though you think it should be obvious why a problem is a problem, it’s not necessarily obvious to someone on the outside. For example, being offered a beer isn’t inherently a problem but it is if you’re a recovering alcoholic. Remind the listener about the details of your life that are important to the story, for instance, “Since I joined AA…” or “Because my parents are immigrants…” Then describe your experience.
Start at the beginning
If you don’t know where to start, start at the beginning and use time to move your story along. You can start by saying something like “Remember three months ago when I…” or “It started last year…” and then guide the listener to the present day.
Start with the setting
Problems are more relatable when the listener has context—just like a joke is funny at a comedy club but awkward at a funeral. Set the scene for your listener to help them understand the story by saying, for example, “I was at home watching tv…” or “I was at the bar and…” and then describe what happened or how you felt.
After you tell your story, assess if you need to tweak it based on how the listener responds. Did you go into enough detail? Do you need to give the story more context? Use the listener’s reaction as a guide for what to say next. Start telling more stories and you’ll feel like people are really listening and truly understand what you’re going through.
Source; https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/how-be-burden/202203/how-talk-about-your-problems
Reflection;
How do you talk abut your problems? Is it effective in getting your point across?
#Problems #OpeningUp #MentalHealth
@comfortableNight4463
This is a very useful article! I think the following sentence is crucial:´Even though you think it should be obvious why a problem is a problem, it’s not necessarily obvious to someone on the outside.´ I often hear stories when the speaker does not specify why is that thing important to them and they feel misunderstood when being asked. But it is important to realize that every person has different backgrounds and experiences that shape thinking and understanding.
@comfortableNight4463 I think I tend to talk differently about my problems with different people. It's different if I'm talking to my best friend or someone I'm just chatting with at the grocery store. You aren't going to dive right into the issue with someone who doesn't know the background story. For someone like a therapist, you have to build that relationship with them first and then they will be able to understand the issue at hand without you having to give background first. It all depends on the situation and each situation will be different :)
@comfortableNight4463
As someone who generally likes to keep my problems inside and go through them without telling anyone, opening up to others is definitely not easy. But I think when I do open it usually comes all rushing in at once with a lot of emotions coming through as well.
I think one thing I do need to work on after reading this is learning how to normalize talking and opening up about my issues with others. Additionally I want to learn how to have the confidence to ask if someone could listen to me.
