It's OK to Not Be OK: 4 Ways to Manage Difficult Times

Say it with me now, “...in these uncertain times…” This phrase is something that I feel like I’ve heard and seen on way too many advertisements. But I do have to admit that there is legitimate context for its usage. The past two years, and not to mention the present, have been hellaciously difficult for so many people across the globe. And, unfortunately for now, things don’t look like they are going to get any easier any time soon. So, in the meantime, what do we do (or not do) about it? Is it okay…to not be okay? Turns out that there may in fact be an answer to that question. Maybe even four answers.

For people who are, shall we say, good at being okay (aka being mentally resilient), they usually have personality traits that are adaptive and flexible and that demonstrate emotional maturity. They also tend to utilize emotion regulations skills during difficult times to reduce their propensity for emotional vulnerability. Dialetical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is one of those skills that can be used to navigate one’s way through difficult times. DBT uses emotion regulation techniques that help people cope with adverse events. Knowing these skills, and knowing when to use them, could help you regulate your emotions during unsettling times. The techniques outlined below, particularly those drawn from DBT, may help you reduce emotional vulnerability and foster positive emotional states.

1. Realize you can feel “bad” but be “doing well.”

How you feel is different than how you're doing. It's unrealistic to expect that you will feel happy and content most or all of the time—especially after the last two years. It's important to realize that one may be feeling sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, but still be “doing well” overall. From a clinical mental health perspective, having problems in one’s life that are unmanageable often leads to what we call impairments in social and occupational functioning. In contrast, it's normal to feel poorly from time to time but still be able to manage life reasonably well. So, basically, regardless of how you’re feeling, are you still meeting all of your basic needs? Then, chances are, you are still doing well. :)

2. Limit news and social media exposure.

This one probably falls under the obvious and goes-without-saying categories. But, we are truly living in the digital age right now. Access to news and social media (even pre-COVID) has been ubiquitous and universal for a very long time. And studies have proven that consistent consumption of stressful news, in turn, has stressful effects on the body–which can all lead to various health problems.Therefore, choosing to limit one's exposure to distressing images and consuming media in manageable doses is vital.

3. Implement PLEASE skills.

It’s acronym time!!

PL: Have you treated physical illness? Are you attending to your physical health? Are you taking prescribed medications?

E: Balanced eating. Are you eating regularly? Eating healthy nutritional foods whenever possible is key.

A: Avoiding mood-altering substances. Research suggests that both alcohol and drugs can damage the brain and increase negative mood states.

S: Balanced sleep. Adequate amounts of REM sleep restore both the mind and body, especially over time.

E: Exercise. Exercise leads to healthier brain states and both outdoor activity and exposure to the sun have other health benefits (such as boosting vitamin D). Some research suggests exercise may have even offered some protection against the omicron variant.

4. Implement radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance is a concept that I ran into during my years of studying psychology as well as my own adventures in therapy. The two words basically mean complete acceptance of the events that happen to us in our lives–accepting reality. This is especially important when we don’t want to accept reality, which I do believe is something that we have all grappled with from time to time.

I do want to note that radical acceptance does not mean giving up or lying down and letting the train(s) of life run us over. Instead, radical acceptance entails focusing on what we can control, and that one of the price of admission(s) to life is having to go through painful and unpleasant circumstances. But we can (and do) move through them. Not just so we can become skilled at putting up with more stuff in life (which does happen), but also so that we can recognize that there are legitimate amounts of beauty to be found in painful moments. No, painful moments and difficult times are far from preferable, but they do help come together to weave the tapestry that is our life stories.

Read the full article here

So yeah, after all this said, I’ll ask you all this question:

What are the different ways in which you’ve found yourselves able to manage and grow through the difficult times in your lives?

#Acceptance #Selfcare #Growth