Psychology Today: Am I Happy?

What’s the definition of “unhappy”?

These are a few of the habits of unhappy people:

· Judgment and jealousy of others

· Inability to accept life and relinquish control when necessary

· Negative outlook on the future

· Making excuses

· Lack of trust

· Dwelling on current struggles

· Stressing over “what If’s”

· Complaining, whining, and ridiculing

The difference between happy and unhappy people is the amount of time they stay attached to bad events.

In no way is that a directive to “just get over it.” A period of grieving and pain is vital when something distressing has happened. The goal is to eventually return to a discovery of happiness.

So much of our unhappiness is buried deep inside our childhood and/or our culture. We learn our belief system from our parents, religion, grandparents, teachers, television, and friends.

Money has zero to do with being good or evil. It has little effect on our happiness. Once we have enough to survive, money has no effect on our ability to be happy.

Happier people tend to look at life with curiosity. Instead of complaining, they devote that time to problem solving. They are goal-oriented and focused. Happier people see others as good, and they believe in the goodness of humanity. They accept others with an open heart. They recognize that just because you have money, luck, and good fortune, it does not mean that I cannot have it.

Happier people let bad things happen. They tend to roll with the punches rather than spin in the fear.

Fall down. Get up.

How do we shift our brains from unhappy to happy? First of all, just as relaxation is the release of all effort, optimism is a natural state that our brains crave. We crave happiness just as we do food. Optimism begins with the release of unproductive emotions.

There are known methods for doing this.. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is based on the theory that you can teach yourself to be aware of your negative thoughts, stop them, and change them. Release them.

Ask yourself, “What can I feel instead?” “What would bring me hope?” “What is out there for me to learn?” Simply thinking one of those thoughts can bring hope.

Ask yourself, “When have I been most happy?” Ponder that question for a while. Why were you happy at that point in your life?

Make plans. Write endless to-do lists. It’s helpful. Being productive is a positive feeling. You will never know the outcome, but you can certainly have tremendous input in the journey. And while you’re making lists, don’t forget to make a list of everyone you love. Don’t forget the list of everyone who loves you. Love exists in the present moment. Appreciate it and express it.

What lights your fire?

If you are dealing with a loss, it is not possible for life to be the same again; it’s important to discover and embrace a new future. Please allow time. Grief is a long and necessary process. Embrace the love that is causing the grief.

It is not an easy task to eliminate the things in our lives that lead us to suffering, but as we clean that closet, we can find joy and excitement in accumulating new things that will lead us to happiness.

Read the full article here!

Reflection:

Would you consider yourself to be a happy person?

#Happiness #Joy #Life #Gratitude #EmotionalRegulation