Self-Help Books That Actually Help

“The following books are challenging where others are pandering, open-minded where others are prescriptive. Rather than giving us a paint-by-numbers for a new personality, these titles provide fresh perspectives on the obstacles we find in our way—and in ourselves.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz

Fans already know its titular precepts by heart: “Be impeccable with your word,” “Don’t take anything personally,” “Don’t make assumptions,” and “Always do your best.” In addition to offering four rules to live by, Ruiz makes a compelling case against uncritically accepting the rules of society, many of which lead to more suffering. The hope is that these agreements (now five in number—“Be skeptical, but learn to listen” joined the list in 2009) will help us create a better “dream of the world.”

When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi

In 2015, 37-year-old Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon, died of lung cancer. His posthumous memoir, When Breath Becomes Air, documents the medical training that consumed his life, his vanishing future, and the process of dying. Like The Year of Magical Thinking and Tuesdays With Morrie, the book promises the clarity of vision that readers believe only confronting death can offer. But where it really excels is in the moments when Kalanithi (and Lucy, his wife—a fellow physician, the mother to their newborn, and the author of the book’s lengthy postscript) acknowledges just how unrealistic this expectation of final clarity really is. Although readers might crave a tightly constructed proverb, it’s Kalanithi’s desperate struggle to give his life meaning that makes the book a must-read. To the end, he was strong and afraid, insightful and confused, continually changing—in other words, exactly as human as the rest of us.

Anxious Eaters: Why We Fall for Fad Diets, by Janet Chrzan and Kima Cargill

This is not a diet book—or an anti-diet book. In Anxious Eaters, the nutritional anthropologist Janet Chrzan and the psychologist Kima Cargill investigate why fad diets remain so popular even though they almost always fail to produce sustained weight loss. In academic but accessible prose, they explain that although regimens such as clean eating and paleo ban certain foods and prioritize others, food itself is pretty insignificant to our culture’s embrace of dieting. Instead, Chrzan and Cargill argue, fad diets are the logical consequence of our society psychology; each diet is a complex system of meaning intended to help us manage not our body, but our mind. Their book avoids easy action items, but that’s the point: Rather than guiding readers to weight loss or body acceptance, Chrzan and Cargill hope to turn the popular notion of “good” and “bad” foods inside out.

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Many texts still trade on a kind of Smiles-ish individualism; after all, readers are primarily seeking their own enlightenment. But the best kind of self-help book is like a trusted friend, a well-trained therapist, or an armchair philosopher—its words can connect a lone reader to the shared human experience. Whereas other texts can change our mind or even our heart, self-help provides a road map for better living.”

Read the whole article at The Atlantic

#Self-help #Well-being #Self-esteem

💬 What self-help book did you find useful? How did reading that book help you?