Speaking Up When Most Stressed
Communicate Amid Conflict
John Gottman and Lowell Krokoff published a study finding that disagreement over the long term of a relationship is not harmful; withdrawal from conflict and continued defensiveness and inflexibility, however, leads to relationship demise.
Indeed improving your ability to remain calm amid disagreement improves a relationship. Listening non-defensively to feedback and negative feelings become a basic life skill.
Hidden Anger Harms Health
Physicians and anger management researchers have uncovered at least 15 links between harboring negative, angry emotions and harm done to one’s mental and physical health. Among them:
- Higher blood pressure and inflammation that leads to many diseases.
- Increased C-reactive protein associated with heart disease and stroke risk.
- Escalated cortisol and adrenaline (fight/flight hormones).
- Suppressed reproductive system, sexual dysfunction, and fertility.
- Weakened immune response, cellular deterioration, and premature aging.
- Increased risk of periodontitis.
- Persistent anxiety, depression, aches/pains, and weight problems.
Your Voice Empowers You
Rather than feeling exhausted and aggravated by conflict, speak up to vocalize your most basic needs. This safeguards your mental and physical well-being.
Build an emotional vocabulary to label negative emotions. This removes the fear of expressing yourself.
Learn to tackle issues. “When you solve problems and empower yourself, anger slowly dissipates because you unlearn some of the patterns that have rendered you stuck,”
Refuse to fence sit. Blame less and take responsibility more. Give up vague answers and phrases that stall decisions
Source; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-full-picture/202203/speaking-when-most-stressed
Reflection on this article;
- Communication is important when there is a disagreement/conflict
- It can be unhealthy to suppress your anger. It should be expressed in a healthy way.
- There are many ways to talk about your feelings in a healthy manner.
#Stress #Disagreements #Communication #Mentalhealth
@comfortableNight4463 great article
communication is so important during tough times
thank you for the lovely post
@zealousGrace5023 Thank you! Indeed!
@comfortableNight4463 I love that you shared this article with us! Speaking up about how you are feeling is the only way anything will ever get solved and I'm a firm believer in that! I know that sharing what's on your mind may be uncomfortable, but it's worth it to work through! 😊
@fruityPond7887 Exactly! Communication will help you convey your feelings/ideas which is a major part of solving any issue.
@comfortableNight4463
I am still in the process of learning how to speak up and vocalize my needs. I have always been prioritizing the needs of others over my own. I still do not know when it is good to speak up and deal with it with a partner or try to deal with it on my own first. Sometimes I feel bad for breaking the ´peace´ because when I speak up it generally leads to an argument.
@globalBraid3744 I completely understand how you feel. I'm the same as well. I have 'people-pleasing tendencies and I would much rather keep the peace and avoid talking about how I feel. I think if you 'communicating' leads to the other person getting heated, then maybe the other person has communication issues as well. It's important that during a disagreement, both parties stay calm.
@comfortableNight4463
Definitely, both parties need to remain calm to have a fruitful discussion and to solve the issue together. I think that sometimes it is also helpful to recognize when it is getting heated and step back for a moment.
@globalBraid3744 Exactly! It's better to take some to cool off before you do or say something that you might regret.