The Lasting Impact Grandparents Have

Grandparents whose grandchildren live with them play an essential role as primary caregivers. That is pretty straightforward. But even grandparents whose grandchildren do not reside with them can relieve the mother by babysitting regularly.

They can also be a source of parenting tips for their sons or daughters who may struggle with caring for a newborn. By trial and error, grandparents have learned natural remedies for the common problems babies experience, such as diarrhea, constipation, colic, fussiness, and the like.

Grandparents provide grandchildren a conduit to a family’s past, accomplishments, trials, and tribulations. It is important for children to know their roots and their cultural heritage. Parents are often too busy to talk about such things. Many times, they have forgotten such historical data or want to forget them because they are ashamed of them.

Scientific studies and anecdotal evidence show what most of us experienced but hardly ever put in words: that typically maternal grandparents are closer to grandchildren than paternal grandparents. Why should that be so? Several factors seem to be responsible.

For one, mothers are generally closer to their mothers than to their mothers-in-law. For that reason, they will often have their mothers present at the birth and to help with the baby once they are home. Thus, a preference has been established from the beginning, which endures.

Whether a grandparent lives close by or a distance away will make a difference in how often they can visit and establish a meaningful relationship with their grandchild. Because of the mother’s closeness to her daughter, maternal grandparents tend to live nearer to her than paternal grandparents.

In one study of UK teenagers, the maternal grandmother was the most important family member besides their immediate family. The maternal grandfather was next.

Of course, the attitude of the grandparent will determine the quality of their relationship with their grandchild. Grandparents who want to be involved in the lives of their grandchildren and manage to be respectful of parental roles have the highest likelihood of success. And this is true for both branches of the nuclear family."

*Our relationships with our grandparents can be the best relationships or can have detrimental effects. Everything this article has stated has been correct, at least for me. I am very close to my maternal grandmother, but not with my paternal grandmother. My paternal grandmother did not spend a lot of time in my life while I was growing up and this has effected me in ways that I wish were different. I am lucky to have an amazing grandmother on the other side of the family though. She raised me on the weekends when my parents were working and she is like a second mom to me. I wish things could have been different with my other grandmother, but that's in the past. Do you find yourself closer with your maternal grandparents than with your paternal? Did your grandparents have a big impact on you growing up?*

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Please find the full article at Psychology Today.