Verywellmind – What Is Emotional Numbness?
“What Is Emotional Numbness?
Emotional numbness is a state of being in which you are not feeling or expressing emotions.1
"Emotional numbing is the mental and emotional process of shutting out feelings and may be experienced as deficits of emotional responses or reactivity," explains Mayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist and program coordinator at Providence Saint John's Child and Family Development Center.
Quite often, feeling numb is temporary. However, for some, emotional numbness becomes a strategy to protect themselves from further emotional or physical pain. While it may provide temporary relief, learning to cope with difficult feelings this way can have long-lasting consequences.
The symptoms of emotional numbness include:2
- Experiencing an inability to fully participate in life
- Failing to access your feelings
- Feeling distant or detached from others
- Feeling flat, both physically and emotionally
- Having difficulty with experiencing positive feelings such as happiness
- Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
- Preferring isolation rather than being with others
People with emotional numbness might use strategies to resist confronting their emotions. Even if they're doing it unconsciously, they might use avoidant behaviors and steer clear of certain people or situations. They might be in denial, which is a common defense mechanism people use to avoid emotional triggers and negative feelings.
Causes of Emotional Numbness
Feeling emotionally numb can happen as a result of physical or emotional pain. In an attempt to protect yourself from being hurt again, it’s not uncommon to disconnect, detach, or numb out feelings related to the situation.
When this happens, you may feel temporary relief that allows you to move on. Over time, though, this protective shield can begin to get in the way of connecting with others and getting in touch with feelings that are both positive and negative.
There are a variety of reasons you might feel numb.
Anxiety
People diagnosed with anxiety disorders may experience emotional numbness as a response to extremely high stress levels, fear, or excessive worry. High levels of anxiety are linked with avoidance of positive and negative emotions.3
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
People with BPD may experience periods of emotional detachment or numbness. It may feel as though their feelings are not their own.4
Grief
When coping with death, a person may go through a period where they feel completely disconnected from their emotions.5
Depression
Dr. Mendez points out that people going through depressive episodes may be less attuned to their feelings, or experience a dulling of emotions. "Higher levels of depression and mood dysregulation result in a greater propensity for emotional numbing," she adds.
Medications
Feeling emotionally numb can be a side effect of some medications that treat depression and anxiety.6 If you’re taking an antidepressant and feeling emotionally numb, it’s essential to work closely with your doctor. They may choose to adjust your dosage or change the medication altogether.
Mental or Emotional Abuse
Studies show that people who were emotionally abused as children are more likely to experience emotional dysregulation, including emotional numbing, as adults.7
Overwhelming Stress
Emotional numbness can result from high levels of stress. If you're feeling burnt out, emotionally or physically exhausted, or overwhelmed, you might feel detached from your feelings.8
Physical Abuse
People who are physically abused may feel emotionally numb. Feeling numb can be a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with a dangerous and frightening situation.9
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Some people will turn to emotional numbing as a way to manage emotional and physical pain. For people with PTSD, this can manifest as avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations relating to a traumatic event.10
Schizophrenia
People with schizophrenia may go through periods of time where they feel complete apathy or disinterest as well as emotional numbness or blunting.11
Substance Misuse
People who misuse substances like marijuana or cocaine can alter the brain's reward system, making it harder to feel pleasure without the drug. Substance use can produce a detachment from one's emotions and an overall lack of motivation and interest.12
"While emotional numbing blocks or shuts down negative feelings and experiences," Dr. Mendez says, "it also shuts down the ability to experience pleasure, positive interactions and social activities, and intimacy."
Treatment for Emotional Numbness
There are a variety of treatment options available that can help you reduce the extent to which you try to escape, disengage from, or avoid your emotions.
Once you find a therapist or psychologist to work with, the first step in the treatment process is unpacking the cause of your emotional numbing. A therapist can help you determine the underlying cause of the trauma, and come up with better ways to cope with overtaxing experiences and emotions.
The primary goal of psychotherapy, says Dr. Mendez, is to stimulate an understanding of the problem and expose viable and effective problem-solving alternatives.
Psychotherapy may support the learning and the use of productive coping tools. You may learn to allow feelings to emerge and to process them in the safe environment of therapy.
Learning and practicing cognitive-behavioral strategies for managing stress, traumatic experiences, depression, and anxiety can help tame negative thoughts.
Whichever therapy you choose, getting help can provide you with a safe place to express and approach your emotions so that you're no longer feeling numb.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) gives you the opportunity to express and understand your emotions, as well as examine the sources of those emotional responses. It addresses how certain thoughts may be contributing to your emotions.
Rather than avoiding or using maladaptive coping tools (such as numbing), CBT strategies aim to empower you to shift from thoughts of powerlessness to beliefs of strength and emotional competence.13
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is another form of behavior therapy that is often used with PTSD and other mental health issues that have emotional numbness and avoidance as symptoms.
ACT uses a mindfulness-based approach to help you recognize ways in which you attempt to suppress or control emotional experiences. The goal of ACT is to help you experience your inner feelings while focusing attention on living a meaningful life.10
Coping With Emotional Numbness
In addition to psychotherapy, your doctor or therapist may recommend several lifestyle modifications to help relieve some of the symptoms of emotional numbness, and hopefully, prevent more episodes from happening in the future.
While it may take a bit of trial and error, the key to the success of lifestyle modifications is to find what works best for you. Here are a few ideas you can try on your own.
Develop a Support System
While reaching out to others may seem difficult at first, seeking social support from friends and family that you trust may help provide a safe way to express your emotions.14
Engage in Physical Activity
Staying physically active and engaging in exercises that you enjoy not only benefits your health, but it can also reduce the symptoms of depression and anxiety.15 Try to include some form of exercise or physical activity most days of the week.
Get Adequate Rest
Both the quality of sleep and the amount of rest are critical to managing the symptoms of any physical, emotional, or mental health issue.16 Insufficient sleep can make coping with the stressors of life more challenging.
While waking up during the night is common when dealing with PTSD, depression, anxiety, or any other trauma, try to get seven or more hours of sleep each night, which is the recommended amount for adults.
Minimize Stress
Both daily stressors and overwhelming stress are major contributors to emotional numbness. Finding ways to better manage stress is key to addressing the avoidance of emotions and feelings.
Try managing your schedule, being sure to make time for activities that you enjoy.14 Practice deep breathing, which can help provide almost immediate relaxation. Eat a nutritious diet.
It's also important to note that while some use drugs and alcohol to cope with stress, substances can contribute to greater stress levels. If you are struggling with substance use, talk to a doctor. They may recommend you attend counseling or a support group for additional support.
Use Mindfulness Strategies
"Mindfulness strategies may be particularly helpful in reducing emotional numbing and increasing emotional strength and competence to manage stressful experiences," says Dr. Mendez.
Engaging in relaxation exercises, particularly body awareness exercises, says Dr. Mendez, can be very helpful for awakening sensations, feelings, and regulation of emotions.
If you or a loved one are struggling with a mental health condition, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
A Word From Verywell
Learning new ways to cope with traumatic events, overwhelming stress, depression, anxiety, or any other serious life event is possible. Reaching out to a doctor is the first step to addressing emotional numbing. They can help you find a mental health professional trained in these areas.
By forming a support network with a doctor, mental health expert, and close family and friends, you can begin to change how you deal with trauma and learn to feel and experience your emotions, instead of feeling numb. ”
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Have you ever gone through or are going through a period of numbness? It comes and goes for me and it's rather odd.
#Emotions #EmotionalHealth #Numbness
@zealousGrace5023
Apathy can often be a sign of burn out! Especially when the emotional and physical burdens of something we do gets repetitive everyday. We end up tiring ourselves out and so into the repetitiveness in our lives that we become almost "programmed" to feel flat. Finding something to make us feel a strong emotion whether it be joy or even sadness becomes increasingly harder to do.
@zealousGrace5023 I've experienced emotional numbness when I'm stressed. It's such a weird thing because I know that I should be feeling something but I don't.
@comfortableNight4463 yes i know what you mean it's disorienting almost
@zealousGrace5023 Exactly! It can be quite confusing.
@comfortableNight4463 very
- @zealousGrace5023 this is what I'm feeling.
@FurryEmpath I'm sorry you're going through right now but I've been there and it gets better
@zealousGrace5023 I feel numb sometimes! I think I feel this when I am beginning to burn out or when I am feeling depressed. Like it does for you, it comes and goes. I think a lot of people will experience this, but it's important to get help and talk to those around you when you may be feeling down. No one has to go through this alone!
@fruityPond7887 Yes exactly! Like i tend to isolate during those phases so i make an active effort to talk to friends like just a simple conversation anything casual even but just socializing with loved ones and it off sets that cause after or even during the conversation i start feeling better cause those people bring me joy cause i love them and vice versa
@zealousGrace5023 Yeah I definitely tend to isolate myself too. It's not good and I probably should make a more active effort to reach out to friends to redirect my mind elsewhere. I tend to wallow in my bed and just do nothing when I'm feeling that way and it only causes me to feel worse haha
@fruityPond7887 yeah it's the same for me
I usually take a day to wallow as much as i want and then get back up next day
@zealousGrace5023
First of all, thanks for sharing this and the resources you put together!
To your last question in your post, yes I've been through it and tbh still not completely out of it but it's a lot better that at the start. At the moment it comes and goes (similarly as you said about you) but the good thing is, once you know about it it is a lot easier to deal with.
Looking back, for me it was actually a good thing. I was in the middle of a deep depression and there was one event which sort of "broke the camel's back", so to speak. Suddenly from one day to another I was unable to feel anything. But for me, it was a huge relief - after a long time of, [in short,] having only negative feelings and destructive thoughts, every negative feeling stopped when the numbness set in. Personally it gave me the strength I needed to get professional help and to talk to others - something I never could have done previously because I would be in panic and tears before even starting.
What things/techniques helped me to get out of it? For example, a gratitude journal. I started off with things like "I am grateful I am alive" and "I am grateful I have enough to eat" but even those small steps set you off to see all the small things in life you'd normally overlook and take for granted. It did help me to "connect" back with the world, so to speak.
It still is difficult for me to find something I really like, e.g. a hobby, but I know I'll get there ✌️
This post has described me to a T. I don't have an emotional support system though. Probably because I don't want to get close to anyone, I've been abandoned many times already. What's the point anyway? 🙂
@sadProgrammer
It's similar to me, I don't have many people I want to speak to because I don't want to get to close to anyone. Nowadays there are other forms where you don't need to talk to others. There is an AI app called "Wysa" (it did help me a lot!). It is an app for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy, see description in the original post above) and essentially an AI which can assist you into thinking in different ways and create solutions for yourself to specific issues. Have a look at it if you like. If you also work in IT (as your username suggests) it might be weird at first, because you might be focused on the point that it's just a software you're talking to, but once you get over that it is very helpful.
Fingers crossed and all the best : )
Maybe I should try that. Thank you 💕
@sadProgrammer people and and go, that's life, but for the time that they are there it is wonderful and to be cherished and more will come too. The point is to experience all that people have to offer. It's fleeting but it's beautiful. And yes people leave but it doesn't have to take away from how they felt about you or how you've felt about them. I think that means something. It does hurt but viewing it as i've described makes it hurt a lot less and you feel grateful not bitter
That's a beautiful way of seeing it 🤍....the problem is that I feel so drained. I feel that they're taking more from me than I get.
@sadProgrammer I see
thats a boundary issue then
you have to learn to both establish and enforce boundaries so you dont feel drained
This happens here alot. I try not to but some of the emotions were so unacceptable in childhood - even being an adult now I've heard *you shouldn't feel that way* So Idk - I'm trying to work on it but I end up going numb
@zealousGrace5023
I have experienced emotinal numbness, it's quite a strange phenomenon where you feel "flat" emotion-wise. It often comes during prolonged periods of stress or during a high intense stress moment. I think it's a defense mechanism where it would be too much suffering to feel those overwhelming emotions all at once. I usually refer this to my boyfriend as "I'm feeling numb or my emotions are gone" He can usually hear it in my voice that my voice sounds "flat". Last time I expereinced this was 2 years ago, but I still remember this memory very vividly.
@professionalVision2624 yes it's quite odd and yeah it's surely a defense mechanism. Thank you for sharing!^_^