Two Ways to Diagnose, and Treat, a Toxic Friendship

1. They’re a low-key bully

They throw you under the bus and humiliate you to make other people laugh. They pick on you in public settings and randomly reveal secrets they swore they would keep. What’s important to remember in these moments is what hurts you, hurts you. Questioning the way you feel minimizes what you are going through. Some people even try to suppress these feelings to impress or prove themselves to their ‘frenemy.’

The truth is that there are only two ways to deal with such a situation.

1. Have an honest conversation. It might be time to put your fear of confrontation aside and get real with your friend. Set boundaries about things that can and can’t be joked about. If they really care about you, they will listen and work on their behavior.
2. Cut the cord. If your friend continues to bully you even after an explicit conversation, you might want to reconsider this person’s presence in your life. At the end of the day, friendships are supposed to be safe spaces. If you feel unsafe in a relationship, you’re probably better off without it.

2. They are a low-key parasite

A parasitic friend focuses too much on the ‘take’ aspect of the give-and-take dynamic of a friendship. While there is a utilitarian element to almost all friendships (e.g., carpooling, wardrobe exchanges, pet-sitting duties, etc.), things can get complicated when the help only flows in one direction. A healthy friendship has mutual affection and respect at its core. If you suspect that a person might be more of a parasite than a friend to you, here are two questions you can ask yourself to gain clarity.

1. Do you feel objectified? When this person asks for your help, do they offer their help in return? Do they express gratitude? Do they consider how this act of help might be costing you? If your answer to these questions is a ‘no,’ you might be dealing with a parasitic individual — someone who makes you feel more like an object and less like a person.
2. Do you feel drained by them? Parasitic friendships can be material or emotional (or both). A healthy friendship usually replenishes your emotional reservoir whereas a parasitic friendship can deplete it."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are some other ways that we can use to identify toxic friends?

#ToxicFriendships #Relationships #Communication