Compassion Discussion October 9th Led by @Dillion

This forum post is based on the discussion held on October 9th 2015 at 6 PM EDT hosted by @Dillion in the Listener Community Room on the topic: Compassion

Compassion Discussion

Hosted by @Dillion Outlined by @blissfulParadise86

IceBreaker

what do you think is the most compassionate act someone can do

Be there

Be willing to listen and be understanding

Someone to be there to hold you a shoulder to lean on

I think the most compassionate act someone can do is to give from their own time/money/attention all they can for the aid of others, not because of themselves

Discussion Questions

What does the word Compassion mean ?

Compassion is showing sympathy for others issues

The word compassion means showing sympathy to others in their situation

Empathy without empowering destructive behaviour

Can you think of any synonyms to the word compassion ?

Warmth ,Empathy ,Humanity ,Kindness ,Honesty ,Wisdom ,Grace ,Benevolence ,Sensitivity

Is compassion a staple in your everyday life?

Compassion is definitely a staple in my everyday life. its kind of my drive in life

Yeah, I have to put up with all sorts of people, but I am compassionate with them

If Yes: How do you show compassion?

If no : Why not?

Everyday compassion I think is best described as Empathy for me.

Well, compassion is what drove me to start studying Africana studies, and what gets me to study for school every day and go to class, and participate

I would say it helps me to see situations from other people's perspectives so I can understand how they're feeling/reacting

I better like empathy- it means for me that I feel the same feelings and that is how I can connect with person and let them feel I care for them, when I think of compassion, then I think the person is more like victim and I would be only pitiful for him so it wouldn't help them, only make them feel worse and stabilize in their hoplessness

Does compassion have an impact on how we listener to members and guests in 1 on 1's and group support settings?

compassion is everything in our discussions, one on ones, in my opinion

yeah definitely

In my opinion it shows who ever is one the other side, that we are compassionate to take their chat.

Any feelings on that?

I agree. And it shows when the people we help can feel like they're listened to, like they're not just talking, they're actually cared for

I feel same!! like it makes them happy!!

Do other people show compassion to you frequently in real life?

For either yes or no: How does this make you feel?

My family was never really compassionate, so I know what that's like. But my boyfriend is very compassionate to me. He looks at me and sees what I'm going through, and understands me, like he gets me, if that makes sense

People don't really show compassion for me and it makes me kinda sad

In college, some professors would show compassion when I'd let them know that I have an anxiety disorder and it's harder for me than some others to deal with some stuff, and I need to tell them. Some literally don't care.

Would you say that compassion is important to give and receive? Why or why not?

It's hard to be compassionate to another person when the embodiment of that compassion admits a level of incompetency in another person. Like idk if I should hold open doors for people in wheel chairs. It could be a nice gesture but it could also signify that I believe them to be less capable

Personally I think it is important to give and receive. As we give compassion we want to remember self care and I think receiving would make us all feel better, do you?

yeah it would

sure, yeah

How are different ways we can show compassion here on 7 Cups?

Have you tried any of these yourself? (How effective do you find these to be?)

I mean, 1 on 1 chats, discussions, peer support, participating in support forums

We are compassionate when new peeps are like yo I got this chat and blah blah blah details details details, and we're like yo try not share deets bro but like ur new so we understand that you didn't know

Do you find that most of these are focused on either members or listeners?

If focused on listeners: How can we show more compassion to the member community?

If focused on members: What can we do to bring that compassion to the listener community?

If focus is equal: What can be done to ensure that compassion remains all over the 7 Cups community?

Idk if they should be equal or if there should be a definite amount say 70/30

I think different situations call for differing levels of compassion

In any instance be Empathetic and remember that although someone else's views may not our align with our own its important to accept those views as important and the TRUTH to that person. That way it would result in a lot less hurt feelings and frustration if we could learn to accept on another.

What do you do to show compassion when chatting with members and guests?

I say ohhh or hmmm so members know I am listening

I show that I care, I make little friendly jokes and let them know how awesome they are a lot

I remind them that talking about their problems requires courage and bravery..Always acknowledge that they are taking the first step.

Remind of them of their own power inside of them to make positive change and reinforce a sense of hope and that change IS POSSIBLE.

Does anyone feel like when we give compassion hearts to members it lightens their mood up a little?

Definitely it does

yes!

Sometimes when they're telling a long story in parts, I like to use the hearts to show them that I'm listening, because sometimes saying "mmhm" or anything really can get them off track

Do you consider being compassionate to be a priority of yours in chats?

I guess, sure

What impact does compassion have in 1-on-1 chats?

it just.. it makes all the difference. It can change a member/guest from timid and unsure to confident and happy by the end of the chat, in my opinion

Have you ever been in a situation where you are struggling to show compassion in a chat?

I have, definitely

Oh yeah

Of course buddy

If yes: What has been preventing you from showing compassion in chats?

That happens especially when the person has something like an antisocial personality disorder and I can't reach their emotion at all

I have a hard time when they dismiss any attempt at compassion or empathy

If yes: What are some ways you can get help with a chat?

Ask a mentor

Well, you can ask for someone to take your chat if you really can't handle it

If you're just feeling like it may be related to you and not the story itself, you can even reach out to peer support

Self Help Guide

maybe even going to the web

What can we do to ensure we remain compassionate in our chats?

be mindful

thoughtful and caring. Not everyone has the same story or problems

So each member is genuinely different?

They absolutely are

A huge thank you to everyone who participated!

Participant list: @Whitebloom @KawaiiKitty @MsEmma @Mumsy34 @Sunset7 @carefreePerspective39 @pureatheart25 @L05TG005E @ShadowFaerie

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