Self Compassion Member Discussion Notes

This forum post is based on the member discussion that was held on October 9th 2015 at 5PM EDT hosted by @Dillion in the Compassion Corner on the topic: Self Compassion . Notes by @blissfulParadise86

Icebreaker

What do you think ‘self-compassion involves?

I think self-compassion involves being good to yourself and self-healing when you need it the most.

Knowing its ok to do what u need for urself

ability to let our feelings out, to let them express themselves, our feelings ried to our need to be cared for. For natural healers it's something we learned to ignore.

realizing that you are hurting and giving yourself understanding and comfort instead of putting yourself down or judging yourself

Discussion Questions

Self-compassion has been defined as being made up of three things. Self-kindness: Being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism. Common humanity: Recognizing that suffering and personal failure is part of the shared human experience. Mindfulness: Taking a balanced approach to one's negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

Have you ever had negative thoughts circle around in your mind before?

yes

constantly

All the time, unfortunately.

I have had negative thoughts circle around in your mind before. Then after thinking about it, I figure out that I don't want that in my life and I think about other things.

Does something bad have to happen for you to have these thoughts?

Guilty

Ashamed

Unlovable

Old Thoughts

How do these thoughts make you feel?

defeated and unmotivated

Depressed.

angry or frustrated sometimes too

Lonely

disconnected from people around

When you feel bad about yourself or are struggling, how do you typically respond to yourself in these situations?

I usually have to calm down first and then I will talk with a family member about how I am feeling or I might even talk to someone here on 7 Cups.

I shut myself off from others.

How would you respond to a friend in this situation (especially when youre at your best)?

My notes : it got no answers it seemed no one quite knew how to answer this one

Would anyone try to support them in this time?

Yes, I would! 100%.

How about anyone else, is there anything different you would do?

I listen

N dont tell them they can't feel that way

What did you notice about everyones responses?

the responses are kind and supportive it seems like...respectful

What factors or fears come into play that can lead us to treating ourselves and others so differently?

well our families and society tend to encourage us to be "tough" on ourselves I think

Self esteem is a factor

We judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others

fear that if we are kind to ourselves we will allow ourselves to be lazy and soft

notes: their is many factors and fears these are the few of the many

How do you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way youd typically respond to a friend when youre suffering?

I think that it could motivate onself much more to be kind, supportive, and encouraging rather than harsh and condemning

So do we think it would be better if we weren't so harsh on ourselves?

I mean we typically avoid others who are harsh to us so if we are harsh to ourselves...we might try to avoid ourselves so doing the opposite might make us like ourselves more and inspire us to take care of ourselves better

What things might prevent us from being kind to ourselves?

Guilt

only human

Other people being negative towards me

What steps could we take to chip away at these obstacles?

Step back n look at what is not real

For me personally, I think by moving forward and focusing on what we can do helps me get over obstacles

Accept the things u cannot change

How can we encourage bringing self-love and self-compassion into our daily lives?

Thinking positive thoughts, remembering we are human

Does anyone think that posting on our forum for self care, can promote the self compassion and self love aspects?Recapping on what we did do?

oh yeah I think that is the intended purpose yes

Does anyone think it helps promote self compassion and self love?

Sure, it can definitely be inspirational to others

What is one kind statement you would feel comfortable saying to yourself when you need support?

I always remind myself of the good I do, that always elevates my mood

it is ok, ur having a rough time, it will pass.

A huge thank you to everyone who participated!

Participant List : @fruityVision52 @Usednbrokenberrings @generousOcean67 @PenguinPower31 @greendream15 @tealVillage7121 @jewelsashes @lovelyWhisper66