Self-Harm Recovery Check-In: Friday, December 27th, 2019
Happy Friday lovely SHR Community!
Today I would like to share a little story with you. If you do not want to read it, just scroll down to our check-in questions.
One day a man finds the chrysalis of a butterfly fallen in the road. Thinking that it would be in danger there, he carries the chrysalis to his house to protect the little life inside. The next day he realizes there is a tiny hole in the chrysalis and he can see a small butterfly struggling to free itself. The effort of the butterfly is enormous. Despite this, it cannot escape the chrysalis. Then suddenly it seems the butterfly is giving up. It stops trying, as if it has surrendered. So the man, worried for the little creature, takes some scissors and gently breaks the chrysalis on each side. The butterfly is finally free. However, the man can see that its body is large and swollen, and its wings are too small, as if they had been folded down. The man waits for a while, thinking that the butterflys form must be temporary. He imagines that soon it will stretch its wings to their full length and fly away. But this does not happen. Instead, it just keeps dragging itself in circles. After a short time, the butterfly dies.
The death of the butterfly has a specific reason. By having its chrysalis broken by the man, the butterfly missed the opportunity to strengthen its wings. When a butterfly struggles to free itself from its chrysalis, the fluids in its body are transferred to its wings. This is the only way a butterfly can become ready for flight.
I shared this story with you to gently remind to all of us that many times the difficulties we go through strengthen us and help us. As with the case of the butterfly, this struggle may even save our lives. We have to learn to be patient and let ourselves slowly grow...
Check-in questions
How are you feeling today?
How has this Christmas week been for you?
If you read the story: how did you like it? Are there any reflections and thoughts about it you would like to share with us?
I may still be a bit slow with my replies, but I will get back to you.
With love from France,
Valeria
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@admaiorasemper
Hey Valeria,
How are you feeling today?
I'm feeling unmotivated and drained. I'm not feeling tired or sad, but also can't find the energy to do anything. I still have difficulty breaking this mood down into primary emotions. Finding I lack energy to do things makes me a bit sad and angry, but that's my reaction to my mood. I'm obviously not happy and wouldn't say I'm scared either. Is this mood like umami, a flavour you can't accurately put into words?
How has this Christmas week been for you?
It's been ok, past few days I've gone to lay in bed to rest and ended up sleeping till early morning, so I haven't really been awake for Christmas related things
If you read the story: how did you like it? Are there any reflections and thoughts about it you would like to share with us?
It makes me feel and think a lot of things. The man reminds me of an overprotective parent, meaning well, but ultimately hurting the one he wants to help for lack of confidence in them.
I do think people can become stronger through hardship, but I wouldn't wanna go so far to welcome or celebrate things like abuse and inequality. Take the passing of a grand parent for example, it's very sad and hard to understand for a young child, but if handled well by the adults in their life, the child can learn a lot from it. I don't think any type of abuse falls in that category though, it's always traumatic and harmful. I think survivors of abuse are amazing and strong despite the abuse, not because of it.
Obviously you can't know what would come of someone if they would traumatized.
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Hi Richard, thanks for being here and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us!
You just taught me the word umami and I think comparing it to your mood is just great! I can really get what you mean. This lack of motivation that is not related to tiredness. An absence of happiness that doesn
@admaiorasemper
Japanese has more words and expressions like that, that can't quite be translated, part of why I love the language so much π
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Oh wow, you speak Japanese!! I'm so ζεγγ (hopefully googletranslate has got it right!)
@admaiorasemper
Well, I'm in the process of learning it, but have picked up quite a lot from music and stuff, just the grammar is a bit tricky as it always seems to be with language haha