Self-Harm Recovery Check-In - Friday, June 11, 2021

Check-In Questions
1) How are you feeling?
2) What is going well for you?
3) What is not going well for you?
4) Imagine that your current worry is a person or object. What would you say to it?
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@SnailPurple
1) How are you feeling?
Feeling spent.
2) What is going well for you?
Sold my dad's caravan for 25k more than what most dealers were offering.
3) What is not going well for you?
My thoughts keep torturing me.
4) Imagine that your current worry is a person or object. What would you say to it?
I'm only human, leave me be and let me be.
Hello @Orthrus
It sounds like you are feeling tired. I hope you are able to get some well-deserved rest soon <3 Would you like to share more about what is on your mind? It's awesome you were able to sell the car for so much!
Thank you for checking in, stay safe!
@SnailPurple
Thank you.
It's not anything specific. I have Bipolar so it's mostly irrational, intrusive thoughts/memory flashbacks. I don't even know if it's specifically Bipolar anymore and/or Dissociation due to the intensity of the "flashbacks". I've struggled with it for years but I think all the recent stress has made it worse. What I don't understand is that it is like PTSD but there is no reason for it as it's every day actions and interactions with people instead of a traumatic event such as what I have had in the past with motorcar accidents that I have had. I've posted to the BP forum, so hopefully someone will have some insight into it.
Some days though, I find myself wrestling with the old familiar SH impulses to try and rid myself of these thoughts and the feelings that go along with it. I know though that it's temporary relief and that the moment I give in to it, I will just need more and more and eventually it won't be enough and I will spiral out of control as I would have run out of options.