Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Friday March 22nd, 2019
Heya lovelies!
I hope the week went well for you all until now! The weekend is almost there and I hope you will enjoy it :)
🌺 How are you feeling today?
🌺 Did you have any high/low, victory/struggle lately that youd like to share?
🌺 What are some little (or big!) things you feel grateful for today?
Have a wonderful day! Stay strong!
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Hi @LinearWaves, hope you are good!
🌺 How are you feeling today?
I'm feeling good! Not need of self-harming, cutting, so I'm happy. I have an appointment with my mentor today, but I don't really know what to talk about, bc my life is fucked up and I know it. I don't really know what to do about it, so I'm thinking about chanceling. It's stupid and I know it. Hopefully she has a job for me soon, so I can start earning my own money. But it's gotta be a half time job, bc I have so many mental problems that I can't work full time.
🌺 Did you have any high/low, victory/struggle lately that youd like to share?
I ate like... everything in reach on thuesday, so that sucked. But somehow I have lost half a kg anyways, so that makes me happy. Hopefully I will loose more soon. I'm really looking forward to loose more weight.
Otherwise I have been at my dentist and I didn't have any cavities even if I thought I had. So the visit wasn't as expensive as I feared, so I had the money to pay my dentist right now. I had to pay with my birthday money, bc I live of of not a lot of money and don't have anything at the end of the month. I have what I need to live for, but I don't have savings at all.
🌺 What are some little (or big!) things you feel grateful for today?
I'm really greatful that I have lost weight, and the fact that I don't feel the need to self-harm (here: cut) anymore. It feels great not having to cut, to feel something :)
@EvilRegalsReadToo
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
I'm glad to hear you're feeling good! I get what you mean though about your appointment, sometimes we think things are just fucked up and there's nothing we can do about it, but who knows? It's always worth the try, some people might have a different view on things and they might have some answers that you don' have, because they see it from afar and the view is different. Other than that, I'm glad the dentist wasn't as expensive as feared and so happy that you don't feel the need to cut! That's amazing, so proud of you!
Take care!
@LinearWaves
Hello, I hope you have a wonderful day as well.
🌺 How are you feeling today?
Im not going to lie, the day has just started and I already have a bad feeling about it. I missed two days of school this week and I have a lot to make up which has been stressing me out even more.
🌺 Did you have any high/low, victory/struggle lately youd like to share?
For victory, Im not sure this would really count but Im helpibg my grandmother with her newest guides pig who happens to be pregnant and I keep to havebone if the babies once theyre born. For struggle, Ive just been really tired and its been even harder then normal to not cut open my skin every time I see something even remotely sharp.
🌺 What are some little (or big!) things youre grateful for today?
Im grateful I have friends in my classes who were able to take pictures of the notes I missed and sent them to me. Im grateful that my migraine is mostly gone. Im grateful I finally got one of my cuts to stop bleeding and that I was able to clean it up relatively quickly.
@plumApricot8108
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
I hope the day went better than feared! And that maybe you got time this weekend to catch up with the missed lectures, it's never a fun thing to do :( but you've got this!
That's a really cool victory! And as for the struggle, I hope you can get some rest, it can be more challenging indeed to fight this when being tired, everything feels a bit more overwhelming :(
These are important tings to be grateful for, thank you for sharing, keep it up <3
@LinearWaves Hey how are you?
Anxious, tired, frustrated,disappointed, depressed. Can't seem to focus and get my freaking head straight! The words are there but they just don't want to come together.
This whole week has been a battle. Fell off the wagon...although I probably just jumped off. Made it 44 days. Seems the harder I try, the harder I screw up. I know relapses happen. I'm having a hard time talking about it, Because I'm worried about adding to someone elses problems and thoughts. I'm having a hard time walking away from it. There's always someone, something whispering in my ear to do it. Monsters don't always just live in the closet or under the bed...sometimes they're in my head or maybe...I'm the monster. No appointments this week.. Doc has a funeral to attend.
Um... I think maybe I'm grateful that I have no appointments this week... maybe til next week I can get a handle on this myself. Doubtful but hopeful...If that's even possible. I'm always grateful for 7cups and everyone here. You people rock!
Hope you have a good weekend, take care...
@mytwistedsoul
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
I'm really sorry to hear you were feeling this way and that the whole past week has been so hard. I want to say, relapses happen you know? Of course, it's not pleasant at all, it puts you back in dark places, but they say that it's also part of recovery. I try to see it as learning how to walk, you fall before learning but that doesn't stop you from learning in the end. I 100% get you about adding to someone stress if you talk about, it's always been what I've been scared of as well, but hey, some people care, and even if it isn't pretty to hear, they want to know and to be there to help! Monsters yeah, it's hard when they start whispering to do it, hard to shut them up. The only helpful thing I've found is to ignore them, although it can be hard sometimes, but yeah, I try and go on a long walk, away from anything that I could hurt myself with, with music loud, and eventuallyI don't hear the "voices" anymore. I don't know if that's something that could help you as well?
And hey, it's Monday now (thanks to my delay lol), which means it's a new week and a kind of new start, I hope this week will go much better than the previous one! Take care! And thanks for your words <3
Hey there @LinearWaves !! How are you?
I haven't been here in a while. I've been going through some personal issues, but I think I'm feeling okay enough to admit that there's something wrong without feeling too hurt. It's hard to accept things I can't control, but I know I have to. It's good for personal growth, and to be honest, I think I needed this. Yes, I am still in the wrong with what happened, but this has helped me realize that I'm lacking in some areas in life, and that I need to improve.
I still care for the person I hurt (despite what they may think, and they have every right not to believe me, they're the one who got hurt afterall), and I know going no contacbt for a while will give them some of the space they need to heal, and for me to continue to grow. I may have to see them in a month or so (we have mutual friends), but if we are together, I will not engage, not even kindly. No eye contact, no conversation, nothing.
On the flip side, I've also been the rejector. I turned down a really sleezey guy who said "he just wanted friendship" but I know he wanted something else. If I can teach someone the same lesson I learned then I'll do it sooner rather than later. I had to learn the hard way, but I wouldn't wish what I had to go through on anyone so I was straightforward and blunt about it, made it about my feelings so I wouldn't be blaming him (even though he's just a really creepy guy). He replied that he just wanted friendship and tried to guilt me into staying but I'm not even going to respond.
Oof, that was a lot. But I've learned so much about human interaction over the past few weeks, and I thought I might share what I've learned. Anyways, that's enough of me for now. Take care!
@CentreMid
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
Heya! Good to see you again! It's really not easy to admit things sometimes yes, so I'm proud of you for doing it now, you took some time to accept it and now you're learning from it, to improve, and that's the best thing to do about things that go wrong I think, personal growth is the most important thing!
It's very respectful of you to give them space and time, I hope sometime you can talk about it though, so they can understand that you still care!
Human interractions can be hard hahah so it's really good that you learned about it because meh, so much to learn about it! Thanks a lot for sharing! Take care <3
@LinearWaves well I self harmed last night I think that counts as a low. I don't know why I did it, I wasn't even sad yesterday I actually had a good day. I was just chilling out then I wash smaked with a wave and then I ended up self harming. I didn't do much I'm not sure if it can even qualify to be considered hurt but it's still SH.
@LooneyArtimus
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
I'm really sorry to hear you SHed, it can be pretty weird yeah when you don' even feel sad but still turn to SH, I've always had troubles understanding that as well when I do it, it's like I turn to something I know I guess, still not sure as well. Do you think there could have been something you could have done to avoid it?
Take good care of yourself <3
@LinearWaves
🌺 How are you feeling today?
-I am feeling quite low, I have had some very tough weeks after starting uni. Uni has made my chronic pain really bad and I have had a migraine after a lot of days of classes which is very deflating and difficult. I have been feeling very depressed, kind of feel like I have fallen into a hole again. :(.
🌺 Did you have any high/low, victory/struggle lately that youd like to share?
-I guess as I mentioned above, Uni has been a big factor in my health lately. I am a pretty stubborn person when it comes to pushing through my pain but I just don't have the energy or strength to get to my classes as I live over an hour away. So, this is making me feel more depressed and everything else seems to be going wrong the last few weeks, even if they seem small; it just seems like another thing to make my life more difficult when I am just trying to keep my head above water. I am trying my best to not cut in this time, though some days it has been difficult.
🌺 What are some little (or big!) things you feel grateful for today?
-I feel incredibly grateful for music, because without it I don't think I would still be here.
@ElephantTiger1
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way, uni can be really hard :( And it probably really doesn't help that it made your chronic painreally bad and that you get migraines pretty often. Is there a way you could manage something about it? Like, managing your schedule differently, or taking some classes at home when you're in pain? Because your health is so very important <3 I know with uni it feels like we have to push through the pain, whether it's physical or mental, but yeah, our health (physical and mental, again) is really what matters the most. I hope there's something you can manage with your school maybe?
Music is a lifesaver! Whats your favourite song btw?
Take care <3
@LinearWaves
I don't think there is a whole lot I could do about school. Maybe get some assistance from the disability support centre although that isn't really going to help me get out of bed and get to uni on those really hard days. Plus my anxiety makes it really difficult to seek out these support services. :(
My favourite song, now that is a tough one. I don't think I have just one favourite song, it changes every day :) I do enjoy musicals and am apart of a band so I get to hear a lot of really amazing music.
Do you have a favourite song?
@ElephantTiger1
I get you, seeking out support can be really hard, plus yeah, they unfortunately can't do miracles :( Just keep in mind that your health (physical and mental) is reallyyyy important, because I feel that it's something we tend to forget during studies (at least I did :p)
About music, I don't either haha! It changes every day like you, depends on my mood and all! It's really good that you get to hear lots of music, I don't know if you feel the same way, but I feel kinda better when I found a music/type of music that matches my mood.
Take care!
Hi 
I'm feeling quite upset really. I found out that I haven't been accepted to take a module at Uni that I really wanted to, and the urge to SH is strong.
I'm grateful for spring, the trees are getting new leaves and flowers are blooming, there is colour again :)
@FloweringBunny
(I'm so sorry for the delay, the weekend has been hectic on my side)
Aw it really sucks that you haven't been accepted in this module, I'm sorry :( Is there any module close to it, or any way you could join it at another time of the year? I get that it's very frustrating, but yeah, it happens unfortunatey :( Stay strong <3
