Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Friday March 29th, 2019
Heya lovelies! ❤️
Well I dont know about you guys but this week has been really long and tiring, I cant wait for the weekend to be there!
💪 How are you feeling today?
💪 What have been your high/lows lately?
💪 Do you have a kind of mantra that keeps you going? If not, lets make one like the one on the pic!
Have a lovely day! Stay amazing! ❤️
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@LinearWaves hello! :D
💪 How are you feeling today?
Not good. I'm back to self harming full time again. I'm doing nail burns since I can't find my blades, which kind of sucks... And it hurts like hell in many weeks, but it helps me not feeling all the other things in my life, so at least it's good for something. I don't really know what to do right now...
💪 What have been your high/lows lately?
I have been good, other than wednesday and yesterday and today. I don't feel good at all right now. But I guess I will survive. Yesterday I felt suicidal, but I'm a little better now.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Heya! I'm really sorry to hear that you're not doing good and back to self harming full time :( Some times can definitely be tougher than others and we just turn back to old habits. Do you think there's something that happened to trigger going back to self harming?
Also, there are a lot of alternatives that can help, it's not always easy to stick to them but if they can at least delay the urges or make them lesser it's always good to take! Distraction is a good one for example (watching a show, listening to music, reading, doing a hobby) or other stuff like holding ice cubes, doing a quick but intense workout... Lots of options! Do you think that it's something you could give a try? ❤
Other than that, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better than yesterday, and as you say it, you will survive 💪 Take good care of yourself!
Hi @LinearWaves, there diffinitly was something triggering me, bc my ED ran amok too. I haven't eaten since morning yesterday, so it's really bad - again. My mom did some things yesterday, and she called me paranoid as an explanation to another person about why I was acting as I did, and it hurt me big time. She also talked to Center for EDs without even asking me, bc she "thought it was ok". So I have cut her of, and are currently not talking to her at all, even if we live under the same roof, in the same apartment.
If it hadn't been dark outside, when I felt like self harming, I would "just" have ridden my bike. That's what I normally do to not self-harm, but it was out of the question since it was dark and I don't like the dark.
I could maybe give it a try. I have tried the one with ice cubes before, so I gotta buy myself some ice cube bags tomorrow, so I can do that instead. That really helped a lot last time, but I don't normally have ice cubes in the house other than at summer time.
I still feel suicidal though, but if it gets worse, I know who to call. I helped a little to sleep until pretty late today, and I haven't self-harmed today, yet. But I guess that will come later.
Thank you for answering my comment in my time of need. I appreciate it! 
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Im really sorry, plenty of delay in my answer again, meh ! I hope things got back in tracks. Do you think your ED running amok and the SH are a result to coping with what your mom did? Also, Im sorry about what she said, and the fact she called this center without you being agree with it, do you think boundaries about whats ok and not ok could be something you could talk to her about? Because well, I dont know her at all so I cant really say, but I know that when people say they thought it was ok, some really think that it would be okay and that they were doing a good thing and helping, so like, if thats the case for her too, maybe it could be good to have an explanation so you can set some boundaries, what do you think about it? <3
Not riding your bike in the dark was definitely a good thing, I just hope you can find something for when its dark and you feel like self harming. As for ice cubes, frozen things can do the trick too, like a frozen pack of veggies, but well, Im not sure its actually great to let it unfreeze and then freeze it back and all hahah, ice cubes are actually better I guess!
I really hope youre doing better, hope to see you in the daily check in! And Im really sorry about my delay again, take care!
@LinearWaves Hey how are you?
Tired.. This not sleeping sucks. Headaches...seems like it doesn't take alot to get angry. Doc today. Actually looking forward to it, hoping he can help calm somethings down. Group tomorrow.. I'm hoping that helps too.
Having some impulse control issues. Um..sometimes doing things I don't remember doing. Really have to watch and pay attention to what's in my hands.
This might sound weird but most of this week the mantra has been...don't do it. Just walk away, don't do it. Well there's usually a few sentence enhancers in there too. That's kind of been an issue too, but hey it's just me and the dogs.
Hey..thanks, ya know?
I hope you have a good weekend, take care
@mytwistedsoul
Hey! I'm okay now that the weekend started here, thanks for asking!
Everything is quite harder when you don't get sleep yeah, I totally get you... Plus it's even more tiring, yet still no sleep, so even more tired. I really hope the doc and group can help you with that!
Do you think not remembering things you've done is also related to the lack or sleep, or is it another issue?
Yeah sometimes our body or mind just tells us not to do it, I'm not sure how to take it haha I mean, if you're not feeling comfortable doing something then you should listen to yourself, unless it's really needed but yeah, never sure how to take it!
You're very welcome, anytime! And thank you have a good weekend too and take care, I really hope you can get some rest!
Heya @LinearWaves !! How's it going?
I'm alright. My prof switched my class to yesterday so I didnt have class this morning whch was nice :) I still have to be here for this afternoon though :/
My high so far today was taking a nap in the student lounge. Nothing's really happened today
My low so far today was finding out I have to get bloodwork done today. I don't want the doctors/nurses to see my scars. My mom knows they are there but my dad is taking me instead and he doesn't know yet. I really don't want to go, but I need to get it done.
I don't really have a mantra, but I often tell myself that I'm doing the best I can for where I am right now.
I'm still kinda groggy from the nap haha, I woke up about 15 minutes ago and I still have no idea what's going on haha. Anyways, I should probably get something to eat. Take care!!
@CentreMid
Hey! It's going well since its the weekend haha thanks for asking!
Hahah that's good, half a day here and there is always good to take! Plus naps are awesome, minus that feeling like you're totally lost when you wake up but yeah lol
As for the nurses/doctors, they're not supposed to say anything about scars, I mean, I've had some ask but they weren't pushy at all, so maybe the one who will do your blood work won't comment on them and your dad won't notice? Or maybe it's the right occasion to talk about to your dad, who could provide support ❤️ Either way, good luck on that, I know it's not exactly pleasant..
That's a good one! I like it, and that's what matters most, to do *your* best.
I hope you found something to eat and that the rest of the day went well, take care!
Heya @LinearWaves !! How's it going?
I'm alright. My prof switched my class to yesterday so I didnt have class this morning whch was nice :) I still have to be here for this afternoon though :/
My high so far today was taking a nap in the student lounge. Nothing's really happened today
My low so far today was finding out I have to get bloodwork done today. I don't want the doctors/nurses to see my scars. My mom knows they are there but my dad is taking me instead and he doesn't know yet. I really don't want to go, but I need to get it done.
I don't really have a mantra, but I often tell myself that I'm doing the best I can for where I am right now.
I'm still kinda groggy from the nap haha, I woke up about 15 minutes ago and I still have no idea what's going on haha. Anyways, I should probably get something to eat. Take care!!
Hi, @LinearWaves. How are you doing?
I've been feeling so tired and apathetic lately. I'm sleeping some hours every night, but anyway I feel like I haven't slept at all. I wish I could stop working/studying for some weeks, but... adult's life sucks. The only thing that keep me going right now is SHing myself, which worries me, cause I've never done it just to feel something. I'm confused.
My mantra is "I'll try to do it" or "I'll try to do it better". Sometimes, it helps me overcome some fears and try new things.
Hope you have a great weekend.
@Kumy
Im truly sorry I couldnt answer sooner :( I hope youre more rested! Sleep can be annoying, I know there are some apps that can help you track it, but well, its best with a pulse tracker as well. But yeah, it can help you see if your sleep is good or not, like if its efficient. Or well, sometimes its not about sleep at all, its just about needing a break hahah I wish I could get one from adult life as well!
As for SH, I understand what you mean, sometimes its really helpful to feel something. But hey, maybe there could be other things you could try out to feel something If thats what youre looking for? When trying to feel something, I know what helps me is to work out, like, a quick but intense work out so that it makes my muscles feel something and gets my heart to beat fast for a bit. Here are other ideas as well, the first category is about feeling if that may help ! Take care and sorry again about the delay...
How are you feeling today? A little tired but I'm hanging in there :)
What have been your high/lows lately? I just relasped after almost a year of being clean :( but I have been cleans since!
Do you have a kind of mantra that keeps you going? If not, lets make one like the one on the pic! I focus on what is in my control and what is out of my control to help me let go of some things and get other things done. Not much of a mantra but it's productive haha.
@maddielovesyou
I'm really sorry about the delay to reply...
I'm also sorry to hear that you relapsed, but hey, it's amazing that you stayed clean for almost a year before, that's what matters most, that and the fact you've been clean since! I'm proud of you for that!
That's a good mindset, sometimes we give too much importance to things we can't control, and well, it can be hard to let go of them but I guess we just have to! Take care!
Hi! Today I'm feeling a tad bit frustrated and just all over the place. I feel super restless like I can't sit still which is super uncommon for me. In good news: I've been clean from self-harm for about three weeks now and I'm kind of proud of myself (although I feel a little silly writing it down). I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about my experience with self-harm here because, compared to other people, I barely have problems at all. You know, the ever-so-common "other people have it worse" argument.
@wellthatwaseasy
Heya! Really sorry about the delay for replying!
I'm super proud of you for being clean for this long (one more week now?), it's not silly at all to write it down, it's a victory and it's important to celebrate it! And hey, worse problems or not, you're still struggling with it, so you're very allowed to talk about it. There's always someone who will have it worse than us, and like, well, we shouldn't keep it inside and not let it out and look for help just because it's not bad enough, in the contrary, it's best to talk about it now and not let it grow worse than it is! You're always allowed to talk about how you feel! Take care and sorry again <3