Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Friday May 1st, 2020

Hello everyone, welcome to May! I hope this month brings positive thoughts and events to everyone <3
Check-in questions:
How are you feeling today?
What is one thing going well for you?
What is one thing not going well?
What is your favorite flower or plant?
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@SnailPurple
How are you feeling today?
I'm ok. Just met up with my contactperson, and it was better than it has been the other times. He is a man, and I have a hard time trusting men, so that's kinda hard for me. I'm trying to tell myself that he is ok, and he is not gonna hurt me, but it's still hard. It's better when we go for walks though, as there is other ppl and such. But I can just see how much easier a time I have talking to my female contactperson, even if I meet her once a week and him twice. I don't know, I hope I will get used to him sooner rather than later.
What is one thing going well for you?
I have been out for a walk today. Sky lookes very "grumpy" and grey, so I don't wanna take my chances going for a bikeride, as I surely will get wet. Rain usually comes, when I go outside
So working out has been good. AND I have gotten my router for internet today already, and I can use it from today, and I'm SO looking forward to it!
What is one thing not going well?
I haven't been on a bikeride today, and that brings my mood down, but I do hope tomorrow will be better, so I can do my bikeride. I have already planned where to go, and I'm looking forward to that ride!
What is your favorite flower or plant?
I am not really a flowergirl. I mean yes, every girl likes roses or tulips, but as I can't take care of either, I have a cactus called Belinda, bc that's the only kind of plant I can keep alive xD
Hello @EvilRegalsReadToo
I'm glad you are doing okay. Don't feel bad about not completely trusting your male contract person, even if you see him more than the female one :). Your distrust is perfectly fine. I'm glad you went on a walk today! Exercise can be nice sometimes :p I'm sorry you weren't able to go on your bike ride today. At least it gives you something to look forward to tomorrow :D Good internet is also a plus! Cacti are so cute :3
Thank you for checking in, stay safe!
I relapsed today. And I'm insanely dissappinted in myself but the awful thoughts just wont fucking go away.
Hello @sunflowercoffeedate
I'm sorry you relapsed. Try not to beat yourself up about it, relapses happen. When recovering from an addiction, it is normal to occasionally take a few steps back and relapse. It's part of the process of recovery. I'm sure you can rebound from this though and continue on your path to recovery <3 You said the thoughts won't go away. Would you like to chat about that? I can't have a one-on-one chat with you since I am a teen, but there are many wonderful adult listeners who would be happy to chat with you about what is going on <3
Thank you for checking in, stay safe!