Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Friday May 3rd, 2019
Heya amazing warriors!
Well it seems that its Friday again, I hope the rest of the week has gone well for you all so far!
I thought this reminder was needed, so we all remember how wonderful and unique we are, yup, everyone <3
How are you doing?
Is there something youd like to share? Good or bad, anything!
Are there some goals/steps youd like to set for this month?
Have a lovely day! Hugs for everyone who wants them!
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@LinearWaves Hey How are you?
Feels like it's been a long week. I've been bouncing between anxiety and depression. Anxiety got so bad on wednesday, I ended up breaking out with hives. Had some issues with wanting to harm, but I haven't. Today it's 7 days.
People have been seriously ticking me off. That's putting it politely. Pointless to get into it, it would be counter productive. But ya know - you get what you give. Karma can sort it out
I'm going to just stick with day to day. Make it through one day and then the next.
Have a good weekend, take care
@mytwistedsoul
Hey! I
How are you doing?
Not too great to be honest, but I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day
Is there something youd like to share? Good or bad, anything!
Today unfortunately I relapsed, I'm upset but I'm working on it. I'm also working on talking to my crush, I keep fucking up.
Are there some goals/steps youd like to set for this month?
I hope this month to completely resolve my relationship with food, get clean again, work on my music and improve my social relationships
@slytherinstarling123
I
Hello @LinearWaves!
How are you doing?
I'm doing well. I had a good talk with my mentor today about everything and nothing, which sas great. She is kind of sweet, and really understands my ED well. Even though she is fasting too, bc it's actually healthy doing that. Didn't know that, I just knew that it was like.. a good way to loose weight. Or I think it's a good way, normal people don't I guess. Me view on calories is totally off though, and I know that. I totally know that, but I really don't think I kan do anything about it anyways, I guess.
But I'm good. I feel good. I feel ok. Life is good. I have eaten kind of a lot today, but I'm still under 600 calories somehow. I have eaten some pretty high calorie food today, but I have eaten not a lot of it, so I'm good, I guess.
Is there something you
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Im glad to hear youre doing well and had a good talk with your mentor! Fasting can be healthy indeed, it just all depends on how youre doing it and how your body is taking it. Because the problem with fasting is that your body can get scared that it wont get more food any time soon, so the next time you eat, it directly takes what you ate as a stock of energy for later, and not as energy to consume directly. So basically, it ends up turning into fat, because fat is nothing but a stock of energy. And yeah, fasting can be counterproductive so it needs to be done well <3 (sorry for the nerdy stuff, Im a biologist lol) Intermittent fasting sounds interesting though, Im not sure if youve heard of that?
I totally googled these pizza snails, they look cute haha! My view on calories isnt the best either as I struggle with that too, but 300 calories isnt that much, to compare with normal amounts its what people would have for a snack Id say.
I wish you good luck on your goal, and hey, do it safely, take care of your body <3
Hi @LinearWaves. Yes that was kind of awesome! It was nice to talk to someone who seemed to understand me. I know all that, trust me. I know I should fast for a day or two and then eat "normal", but I can't do that. I can never eat normal again. I don't wanna AND I don't know what's normal anymore. No worry, I like to get nerdy about food too, haha 
I have heard of Intermittent fasting yes, but I have not looked it up or anything. But I understand that that's the "healthy" way of fasting, right?
Yeah, they are kind of cute, but calorie bombs (I think they are, my view on food is a little crazy). But I'm glad to hear that it kind of isn't a lot, even if I still think it is. It's nice to hear "normal" ppl's view on portion sizes. I kind of... feel a little calmer about having eaten it. Does that make sense? I still feel guilty of course, that I think will never go away, but I feel just a little better.
My mentor actually said the same. That she thought 300 calories wasn't a lot.
I think 150 calories for one meal is kind of a lot, so I'm having a hard time figuring out what's normal sometimes. Especially bc I tend to overeat, when I try to eat normal bc I'm like: Full restricting or eating everything in sight :S
Thank you, thank you. I really hope I can do it. Trying to do it safely but not necessarily healthy, bc I don't know how to do it healthy and be satisfied with the time it takes for me to loose weight. I kind of just wanna loose 10 kgs in a month, lol.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Sorry, it took me time to answer, I wanted to look up that intermittent fasting thing before!
I get you yes, it's hard to know what's normal anymore, plus your stomach and body kinda gets used to it so it's hard to even go back to "normal"... I don't know much about intermittent fasting, and google doesn't either lol at least nothing really backed up by facts. It seems healthier though, as you only fast for some hours during the day, let's say 12, and then get back with your usual meals, so it's less bad than fasting for several days, as this could be dangerous for your health (risks of fainting and risks of long term problems from not getting enough food and lacking stuff, which can lead to weak bones for example) but yeah, I've been reading, and some intermittent fasting diets look really bad. I do think though that this first intermittent fasting option, of fasting for 12 or a bit more hours seems to make sense with how your body works. Like, you consume what was in excess from the day before before refueling. And it's also less restrictive, so less harmful and less bad for keeping those "normal" eating habits.
I get what you mean yeah about people's opinions, it kinda gives you a reality check. It is hard to keep in mind what's normal when you usually restrict yourself, but yeah the other problem that comes with restricting is that you also tend to overeat because restricting is just so hard on your body and your head, so yeah, at some point it's normal to break and eat everything in sight. But it's a vicious circle, as then I guess you go back to restricting even more since you ate a lot, I mean, at least that's what I tend to do, so even more restriction, then even more will to eat everything, and so on...
Yeah for sure, I understand that you want to lose it quick, however for the long term it's sometimes best to take your time, that way your skin has time to adjust to the weight loss, and it won't just float around as it would if you lose weight too quickly. That and also the fact that it's a major change for your body to lose weight really quickly and can be bad for it (tension problems, muscles, periods, and so on)
Okay, that's all for the biology facts for today haha! Take care!
@LinearWaves hi. I get all those things with the logical part of me, but the ED part of me says that I should do it anyway, and sometimes it's just too hard to fight it and so much easier to give in. I mean... I eat a max of 800 cals' every day, and which means that I restrict like crazy, and I know that - I really do. I really try to eat normal, but it's hard since I no longer knows what "normal" is. And I think 150 cals' is a lot of cals', which I know it isn't with the logical part of me, but my "ED-brain" says it is, so I don't know what to believe anymore :S
@EvilRegalsReadToo
That's exactly why it's called and eating disorder, it's not as easy as knowing that "yeah okay, it's the ED part of the brain speaking I'll just ignore it" because yeah, it's much harder than that :( I don't really know what to say as I'm struggling with that too but hey, one good thing is to keep eating meals at "normal" times, so as not to get used to skipping some, which is already pretty hard I know... It's also good that you keep reality checks by asking sometimes to other people if they think it was a normal size of meal/snack for them!
@LinearWaves hi. Yeah, that's exactly that. One can't just ignore that, sadly. Wish I could, bc I CAN still see the logical part of stuff, but I'm having a hard time doing it that way, bc of the "ED-voice" :S
I'm kind of skipping a lot of meals and fasting a lot, but at least I still eat dinner (my mom wants to get me hospitalized if I stop eating dinner, and I don't really want that), and breakfast most of the time. But I talk alot with my grandma about eating and stuff, and she somehow keeps me grounded, so I don't go all crazy with my eating (more like not-eating) :)
@LinearWaves
How are you doing?
I am doing good
Is there something youd like to share? Good or bad, anything!
I am now passing geometry!
Are there some goals/steps youd like to set for this month?
I am going to work on taking time for myself
@PurpleSnail
I
@LinearWaves
I'm just going to lay in bed and watch YouTube lol
How are you doing?
I am doing okay, recently I have been going through a lot of drama that has seriously messed up how I view myself. I keep looking towards the future positively and I know everything will work out. Overall I am doing okay enough.
Is there something youd like to share? Good or bad, anything!
I am super nervous about becoming a senior next year, I am almost an adult ahhhhhh!
Are there some goals/steps youd like to set for this month?
I would like to try and make it the whole month with healhty ways of coping, I know I can do it if I really try!
@HayleeBugg
Im glad to hear youre doing okay, despite the drama youve been through recently. It sure isnt easy when things mess up how you view yourself, so its a great thing that you keep looking towards the future positively and keep in mind that everything will work out! Amazing mindset!
Haha turning an adult can be a bit challenging, but overall, things dont change that much, so as you say, everything will work out!
Thats an amazing goal to try and make it the whole month with healthy coping mechanisms! Are there some that you have in mind? I wish you good luck for that, you can do it! Take care!
@LinearWaves I'm really stressed
Testing starts Monday and I have c in math which I'm really upset about and so are my parents.
My family wants me to do soccer next year and I'm really torn and anxious. I'm not in shape and my body hurts so often I'm worried I would disappoint my team and everyone else. It's been a long time since I've played soccer or any other sport for that matter so I don't think I will do well. I'm so afraid that I will disappoint everyone. I used to be good at soccer but it's been so long. I know it's stupid to be so afraid but I am. My dad played soccer and he coaches soccer, both my brothers play, they just have to much faith in me. I tried to tell them that I'm always scared that I will disappoint them there, academically, and in every other area of my life but they just said do we seem like the kind of parents that would do that, put pressure on you and be mad if you "don't do well enough." I know they aren't but that doesn't make the feeling go away, I can't control it. I just agh!
@LooneyArtimus
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