Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Monday, April 6th, 2020
Happy Monday amazing people! I can't wait to hear how you're all doing!
How are you feeling?
Is there something youve been struggling with lately?
What is one recent victory youve had? (gentle reminder: there is no small victory!)
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe and hugs for those who want them x
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@LinearWaves
1. I'm feeling everything right now, mostly bad stuff though.
2. Recently I've been struggling a lot with self harming habits, my body is constantly exposed as a dancer but I lost control and I stupidly cut on my thigh and then proceeded to continue to cut there so I dont know what to do.
3. An ok victory for me is that today I ate 500 calories which is more than I usually would. I don't really know how to feel about it.
@avagraco
something that has helped me occasionally when I'm wanting to cut is painting the area with paint and then drawing in the paint like cuts and stuff and then it seems to help Because it won't hurt but it looks like I did it. You can also use a red pen as well.
Make sure you clean the cuts up well to keep from infection. I'm sorry things are hard I know how you feel. Stay strong you can fight this
@GodOnlyKnows51
Ive tried doing that once before and helped a lot! I just forgot about it, but thankyou for reminding me! As for taking care of my cuts Im not so good about that but I should probably get better.
@avagraco
glad that it's helped before and I hope it helps again! Yes it's great and important to make sure your cuts stay clean as you can get bad infections if your tools are not clean. Just want you to stay healthy ❤️ If you ever need a chat feel free to look me up❤️
@avagraco
Hey there and welcome in the subcommunity, we
@LinearWaves
Thank you!
I try to do meditation because my focus stays locked in one place, and I do feel a lot better.
For me its most important that I fall asleep as quickly as possible because thats when I feel like I have to cut the most, so now Im working on my sleep schedule. This sounds ridiculous but during the day Ive been building houses out of cards, they take up a lot of time and I like to try to beat my record.
I think on my thigh Im just gonna have to wear heavy foundation and 2 pairs of tights, now Im just trying to figure out how to tell my mom because I have to go on a beach vacation.
Thanks for replying to my post! : ) I hope you have a really good day!
@avagraco
Youre very welcome !
I get you about falling asleep quickly, I try to do just the same to avoid the thoughts else I end up turning in my bed thinking of everything for hours lol but meditation helps with that too, I mean, some do, there are some sleep meditation videos on youtube and it may sound a bit stupid but some work really well.
No worries thats not ridiculous at all! Thats quite impressive actually, Im not sure I would last 5 minutes haha but it sounds like a great thing to do to keep your focus on something.
I hope telling your mom will go well, it could be helpful as well to explain her all about how youre felling so she can provide support!
Thanks, have a good day too!
@avagraco
Hey there! Happy to hear about your victory. The specific number of calories is kinda triggering. I don't at all want to take away from that victory, I can relate and it's something to be proud of! Maybe in the future mentioning that you ate more (or that you ate, if you don't usually) is a possibility? less triggering than mentioning specific numbers, or maybe it's just me triggered, idk! Just wanted to bring it up. Still, congrats and don't feel bad about any of it. Keep going forward, you got a lotta support here!!
@Lexloveslife
Oh my god Im sososo sorry!! I'm new to this website and I'm new to opening up to people but I still shouldve had the common sense not to post numbers! Is there any way I can delete a post??? God I feel terrible...
@avagraco
No! Please don't delete this, please don't feel bad about this, okay? Don't ever feel bad about an accomplishment especially one that involves battling an eating disorder. I trigger people too sometimes. It happens! Ultimately it is up to me to deal with my triggers. Please don't feel bad
@Lexloveslife
Thank you! I guess all I can do is improve and be more careful next time : ). I hope youre having an alright quarantine!
@Lexloveslife
Thank you! I guess all I can do is improve and be more careful next time : ). I hope youre having an alright quarantine!
@Lexloveslife
Im not sure why that went through twice. sorry about that!
I just relapsed after 2 yrs. So that's not really a victory. ive been trying really hard to hold it in. i think ill give in to taking meds for anxiety. Just so i dont cut. Amitryptyline helps with my anxiety but it makes me sleepy in the morning. but ill take it at 5.
*edited by forum mentor @rebecca947 to ensure post complied with guidelines. Feel free to private message me for more information*
@Cosine91
Hey there! Im sorry to hear you relapsed after 2 years... but Id like to focus on the victory there: you managed to hold it in for such a long time and thats amazing, despite the relapse its still amazing and Im proud of you for that!
As for dealing with your anxiety and avoiding turning to self-harm, would you like to try and brainstorm other coping mechanisms so you can try them out and see if they help?
Take care and thanks for checking in!
@LinearWaves
thanks 4 replying. erm im trying alot of stuff camomile tea and drawing but it doesnt work talking to husband works but hes not there all the time.
@Cosine91
You're very welcome! Chamomile is definitely known for its calming effects, theres also lavender, in tea as well or also in spray/candle/dried herb for its sent which can be really relaxing !
Its good to hear that talking to your husband helps, even though hes not there all the time. Do you think things like journaling to still let out your feelings when hes not there could be helpful?
@LinearWaves
its not that i let out my feelings when hes there. he distracts me by saying funny things!
@Cosine91
Oh right ! I get it ! Well if he distracts you with funny things, do you think it could be helpful to watch funny videos when he cant distract you?
@LinearWaves
I watch Dr mike!!! But when my kids take my phone... .
How are you feeling?
I feel kind of unreal, like I am dreaming and I don't know what that is.
Is there something you
@navyBlueberry2704
Hey there, I hope feeling unreal and like youre dreaming isnt an unpleasant feeling. When things feel unreal and I want to stop that feeling I like to turn to music and sometimes meditation (which could also help with anxiety) - if youre feeling like it of course!
Is there something in particular making you anxious about going back to school? Or is it more of a general anxiety feeling? Either way Im all heart with you and I hope you can relax and forget about this thought for some time!
Thats an amazing victory! Thinking about it by yourself with nothing forcing you to stop and just thinking about doing it for yourself is a great step and Im proud of you for this victory! Let me know if youd like to brainstorm coping mechanisms to help you with dealing with self-harm!
Take care, thanks for checking in and letting us know how youre doing!
@LinearWaves
I am always anxious about going back after a long time off school. I had some really bad experiences there and I feel like after all this time I can't know how people will be and if they will hate me and these things because I haven't seen them for so long. This probably doesn't make sense.
I think in self-harming, whenever I feel the urge I don't even want to do another thing in order to not selfharm. I just think like, whatever, one more cut won't be that bad and if I don't do it maybe I will have stopped (I don't know either why I feel that way) and I am scared of being without it, I need to do it so I know it is still there with me for when I need it.
@navyBlueberry2704
I get you, going back after a long time can be quite challenging… And I
@LinearWaves
Thank you. I will try thinking of it as a back-up solution.
@navyBlueberry2704
I don
@LinearWaves
How are you feeling?
I am feeling good.
Is there something youve been struggling with lately?
Just school.
What is one recent victory youve had? (gentle reminder: there is no small victory!)
well me and my best friend decided 2 years back that we will make a photo album for each other as a parting gift from high school and we started it but we weren't able to continue it. I started it again yesterday and i am so damn happy
@youandmesohappily
Hey there ! Its good to hear youre feeling good, despite struggling with school!
Thats such a cool idea to make a photo album for each other with your best friend, really thoughtful! It must be great to gather the photos in there and remember the great times!
Take care and thanks for sharing!
Relapsed in self harm yesterday, feel like relapsing in ED today. No hunger whatsoever today and it's a relief considering how my past few days have been eating until I feel sick to punish myself. Exhausted from trying to fight off what I truly want to just give in to. Exhausted in general. Out of touch with my body and mind. Plan to tap into both today
@Lexloveslife
I
@LinearWaves Thanks for posting Linear. I hope you're doing well :)
How are you feeling?
I'm actually not feeling the greatest right now! It's surprising since (I don't know if any of you see my posts a lot) but I've been doing really good until recently and the last two days have been nightmares :( 7 cups work and school and friends are keeping me afloat though, so I think I'll survive.
Is there something youve been struggling with lately?
I've been struggling a lot with family lately. It's difficult and stupid and it makes think about self-harming a lot :( But! It's not something I can't handle so I'll make it through.
What is one recent victory youve had? (gentle reminder: there is no small victory!)
My application got accepted for me to be a peer supporter so all I'll have to do is get my badge from training and I'll be good! :D
I've been having a rough time and I know other people are too, stay strong in there guys <3
@TheAtticusFinch
Hey there Atticus ! Im doing as alright as I can in this weird time, thanks !
Im really sorry to hear youre not feeling the greatest and have had tough days lately… I guess they hit us even stronger when weve been really good before. I hope the next days will be better, its great that you keep a positive mindset and focus on whats keeping you afloat instead of letting yourself get overwhelmed by the negative, I really hope they can be of support!
Struggling with your family can definitely be challenging and I get that it makes you think about self-harming, plus if youre in the same lockdown situation as many others, family can be even harder to handle… But then again, its amazing to see that youre keeping a positive mindset, youve got this and I believe in you!
Yay congrats on your acceptation! From your posts it looks like youll be an amazing peer supporter!
Stay strong too, were here for you if needed, take care and thanks for checking in!
PS : I really loved your entry to the SHR contest, your story was really well written and (sadly) relatable, it felt good to have words put on that feeling so I wanted to thank you for that!
How are you feeling?
Today I am feeling good. Sleepy though.
Is there something youve been struggling with lately?
Self discipline. I really need to work on it. I use to be so good with it and now i'm just bleh.
What is one recent victory youve had?
I managed to get the apartment cleaned up. I feel better and happier.
@Goldcherry2113
Hey there !
Its nice to hear youre feeling good, even if sleepy ! I hope you can catch some rest, or some coffee haha!
Self-discipline can definitely be tough, its good though that you were able to pin point that you need to work on it! Are there some specific things you want to do regarding self-discipline?
Yay for cleaning your apartment! Its not a funny task at all but it definitely feels great when everything is clean afterwards :)
@LinearWaves
1) I am feling a litte down and I thought i was ok i mean i said i was, but ihaven't been feeling good,
2) the hate i feel for my self, I hate that i can't forget and that i cant let go
3) I finally started to fill out allt he information i need for my service dog
@2019DOGS
Heya ! Im sorry to hear youre feeling a little down, is there something on particular making you feel this way ?
Hate, especially for yourself can definitely be a challenging feeling… It is hard to forget and let go but lets see the positive there: youve identified things to work on and thats a first step towards doing better with them! Are there some specific things that you find hard to let go of or is it more of a general feeling?
Yay for filling out all the information for your service dog, thats a great step, keep going!
Take care and thanks for checking in today!
I just wanted to say hi right now i cant answer this
