Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Monday, June 1st, 2020
Heya everyone! Its Monday again, the start of a new week as well as a new month!
Today I wanted us to talk briefly about growth, as growth can be an important part of recovery. The growth Im talking about can also be called personal development. A rough definition of it would be that it covers everything that makes your life "better", including developing skills, grasping your identity, considering your goals, shaping your own self in your own ways. Its a lifelong process but recovery implies an important growth, as when recovering we learn coping skills, we learn about ourselves, we sometimes fight our bad parts, we challenge ourselves. We all grow differently though, as were all different so obviously not the same things matters to everyone. Plus our paces can be different and its totally normal. I like to see it as plants: all look different, some grow quickly, others slowly, some get very tall, some will stay small, there's still growth in every case. And sometimes a plant lacks water or isnt rightly exposed so it will make its growth harder, yet its still growth too.
1) How are you feeling?
2) How did the weekend go?
3) What is your own definition of growth?
4) Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? What else (if theres anything) would you like to grow more on?
Feel free to share anything else in your mind, I'll be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
@12kirby12 @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @aar10 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @akagmai97 @Akor1 @AlexanderSpamilton @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AnastasiaSmith @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Annabanana1014 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @Aryspencer15 @Asher2343 @asheroo92 @AstronomySkies @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @avagraco @aviori @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @becca111111 @beniba08 @Bethfarmer @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @Bugggy @bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @CarverT007 @CarverTea @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @Chester77 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @conscientiousOwl7693 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Creativepig @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @DaysiaKelly @delicateWindow53 @demonicangel @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @earthangel222 @earthkid @easyMap6620 @Ecargrace @Ediexo @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @ellie455 @emily0303 @emmadancer @energeticApricot2459 @Eny0 @epitium @Erato @Evanora @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FindingPeaceWithin1 @Flornhope @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @FrenchMarbles @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnyAcres8364 @funnybanana4728 @gayisok101 @generousKiwi8190 @gentleParadise1427 @Gin @glowingKiwi @GodOnlyKnows51 @Godsbae @goldenJoy721 @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @grej @HannahO11 @happydays447 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @imthewalrus @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @IntellectualCake @intellectualCake2509 @intellectualHuman6814 @IntelligentWheel627 @Ismokereed @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @ivoryPenguin3999 @Iwannaliveanddream @iwishuwell @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @Kassy7cups @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @kindDay278 @Kiwi16 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @LauraB1996 @Leanna @leaveearly2716 @LetMeHeatItOut2 @Lexloveslife @Lilbabygirl @limegreen002 @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @Logybear @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LovelyAnathema @Lovelydovee @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @mads00742 @magicalBraveheart537 @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Mint123 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @MJLV98 @modestCat9806 @modestVase1408 @Moosewithducks @msishihab @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @navyBlueberry2704 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @notmyselftoday @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @PessimisticHuman @PGP30 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @positiveTurtles @pumpkinpi @PunkyKitty @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietman4875 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @RiverHudson1 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @SadAFSeth @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Sana6399 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @sgraceroe @ShadowTag @shymelody @Shyone7834 @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @starkmechanic3000 @stellaadaviss @stellaluna04 @Stitch8989 @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @suling1986 @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @TheAtticusFinch @thebermuda @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @TheWeeb @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @Waveywoop @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WitchySalem @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yolo @youandmesohappily @Yovela @Zammn @zebrasarcastic
@LinearWaves
1) How are you feeling?
A little bored, but overall good
2) How did the weekend go?
It was nice, unexpected date on Saturday
3) What is your own definition of growth?
Figuring out what is important to me and finding ways to implement those things inmy life
4) Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? What else (if theres anything) would you like to grow more on?
I think I've gotten better at enduring and expressing emotions
I would like to improve my self image, cause it gets in the way of many aspects of my life
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Hey there Madara ! Its good to hear youre feeling good, despite being a bit bored, I hope you managed to find things to do to entertain you or keep you busy today !
It sounds nice that you had an unexpected date on Sunday, do you often get unexpected activities like that?
I really like your definition, its true that theres a real work done on how to actually make things work in our lives after having identified whats good. Which sure isnt always easy!
Its really nice to hear you feel like youve gotten better at enduring and most importantly expressing emotions, both can be hard to implement. I hope you manage to improve your self-image as well, how we see our own selves can definitely have a lot of impacts so its a great goal! Have you got leads already to work on it?
Take care and thanks for letting us know how youre doing, its always nice to hear from you!
Today Im sad - missing my puppy who I had to rehome. She was my shadow and cuddle buddy.
2) Had energy this weekend for the first time in a while.
3) Right now it's getting through today without crying
4) I think I have more compassion for others - we each have our own stories and all wear masks - mainly so others don't see how we really feel at that moment so I try to be kind and smile
@Shyone7834
Hey there! I
@LinearWaves. Thank you. Puppy was with me only 2 months but being shut inside so much I really needed her for companionship. Thanks for caring.
@Shyone7834
It must have been a tough decision, I hope in the future you can find yourself the perfect companion!
@LinearWaves
Not good. I'm self harming today. I can't stop it. I feel so sad, but not depressed, and I feel like I'm a horrible person. I need to punish myself for being horrible. Even if I don't know what I did wrong...
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Hey there, we
1) How are you feeling?
Normal. I don't like or want to be. I really don't like me.
2) How did the weekend go?
Stress. My sister is near some of the protesting that seems to turn to riots. I can't do anything. Why are people so horrible to each other? She and her family would be pretty much defenseless if anything were to happen. Then all my normal bs. My humble life deteriorating in several spheres.
3) What is your own definition of growth?
I guess it is to change. Hopefully it's for the better. Lots of time I don't know which way is up so to speak. But that's part of life. We can't know what is the best path till after we have gone down it. And since we didn't go down a different one we can't really know if it would have been better or worse. We can try though. And maybe sometimes we need to stay right where we are for a bit.
4) Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? What else (if theres anything) would you like to grow more on?
Yes. I am not so naïve and trusting. What to grow on? How to plan for the future. I've never really wanted much. I certainly never wanted live half this long. So much I haven't bothered to even think about. And how to function better to get employment and promotions. Self promoting and all that.
What is self identity? It seems to be more than what I know it as. I've never asked, I've heard about it. I know I am me. I'm sitting right here. I must be missing something. The statements like finding ones self or struggling to identify and all that has never made sense to me. And why does it matter? You gota do what you gota do. How does that have to do with anything? I'm confused.
@Flornhope
Hey there Florn, I guess it
@LinearWaves Thank you for saying so. It is good to take the time and think on what I know as I'm typing sometimes. As a reminder. Optimism is good. I'm optimistically a pessimist. And my normal is a bit like in the mythology where Atlas is holding up the world for all eternity. Yes he can do it, he has been doing it but it doesn't get any lighter. I guess I have lived kind like a bottle rocket. Full throttle and expecting for any of the dangerous or outright stupid things to caus it to end. And definitely s idealization. It's nice to chat with someone that understands. I guess I have struggled with selfi identity. It's probably linked to my lack of respect or care I give or allow myself. I'm working on it though. So that's a start.
@Flornhope
You
@LinearWaves
Hi there, I hope you're having a good day :)
1) How are you feeling? Hum had a whole day of feeling anxious, it's starting to get better though, hopefully I'll be calmer when I go to bed.
2) How did the weekend go? All in all I'd say pretty good, I didn't do everything I wanted to but I don't have any regrets.
3) What is your own definition of growth? I don't use the word growth a lot. I tend to use evolution more. As human beings we're constantly changing for good and for bad. I guess growth would be defined as being able to identify those changes and use that knowledge later on.
4) Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? What else (if theres anything) would you like to grow more on? Hum I'd say I've become more self aware and more understanding of others. I'd like to work on my self acceptance and being more authentic to the people around me.
Siz.
@Slizzy564
Hey there Siz ! Thanks for that <3
Im sorry to hear you had a whole day of feeling anxious, it sounds tiring, I definitely hope it got better and you managed to get some rest. Has someone specific caused this anxiety, if you dont mind me asking?
I really like your point on identifying changes whether theyre good or bad and using it as knowledge for the future. Its really interesting, its like taking a wrong turn and reminding the next time you take the same path that it was maybe not the right way.
Its amazing that youve become more aware and understanding of others, these are great and much needed skills (that I personally wish more people had!) It also sounds interesting and important that youd like to focus on self-acceptance and being more authentic, Id think these two as pretty connected, I dont know if thats your opinion as well?
Take care and thanks for checking in!
@LinearWaves
Hello there :) You're welcome anytime <3
It was tiring but good thing is I slept really well which is something that hasn't happened in a while ! I don't mind you asking :) To be honest I'm not quite sure why I felt like that. I mean I was planning to see some friends from work that day, and usually that type of situation makes me anxious. But I'd already been over to their place before and knew all the people that would be there so really nothing to worry about ... Guess my brain disagreed x)
I agree with you I also think self acceptance et being authentic are related. I don't exactly hate myself (nor do I love myself) but do I want to present this authentic version of myself to others and take the risk of being criticized ? Absolutely not. I just think that people wouldn't accept the 'true' version of me. And I really admire people that are unapologetically themselves, they are a force of nature.
Thanks for your reply.
Siz.
@Slizzy564
It
1) How are you feeling? Im feeling great.
2) How did the weekend go? The weekend went good.
3) What is your own definition of growth? Growth for me is when you have learned from past mistakes and have accepted that they happened and what you have learned from it.
4) Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? What else (if theres anything) would you like to grow more on? I believe Ive grown on how I handle stress I believe ive become wiser on what I want from life and how im going to live it. I would like to grow better at how I deal with the troubles life throws at me.
@lonelykitten24
Hey there ! Its good to hear youre feeling great and had a good weekend, I hope the week is going just as good if not more so far!
I really like your definition of growth, mistakes are definitely a good way to grow and we sure need to work on accepting them and learning from them. In the science/research field, mistakes are really valuable as you cant learn/grow much from something that worked fine, theres sooo much more things to learn from a mistake/something that didnt work and I love how it makes mistakes so valuable just as in your definition!
Its amazing that youve been able to grow on better handling stress and becoming wiser with your view on life. Learning to get better at dealing with the troubles life throws at you sounds like a very important although challenging one, its a great goal!
Take care and thanks for checking in x
@LinearWaves
How am I feeling?
right now im sad or depressed not sure
How did the weekend go?
Not good lost my baby at 23 weeks
What is your definition of growth?
Growth to me means recognizing that you need some help and that getting better is on you. you have to want to work on you for you otherwise its for nothing.
Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? Are there things you want to grow on still?
the asnwer is yes. one hundred percent yes. When I lived at home I was a closeted bi sexual, I cut daily to feel something and I was overall miserable. Now, I am six years self harm clean. Even though the weekend was rough and I wanted to cut I recognized I needed help so I asked my husband to hide all razors, knifes and sissors. Yes i said sissors. I am so proud of myself because three days later I have all of these things back again.
I want to continue to grow and be better for myself and for my husband.
On a side note lately these past three days since loosing her I find myself wondering what I did even though I didnt do anything. I took my prenatals like I was supposed to I took it easy. This was mine and my husbands third attempt and I find myself getting jelous of people who I am friends with who are having there babies but I know its not actual jelously just that im hurting right now.
These past few days hes been trying to be physical becauase he wants me to feel pretty and not broken. But I feel like right now its okay for me to fall apart because after the only thing left to do is go up. you know??
sorry if that was alot its just alot right now
@decisiveDog3658
Hey there !
Im deeply sorry for your loss, I cant imagine how depressing and hard this time must be for you and your husband… Im all heart with you both <3
This is an amazing definition of growth, especially the fact that its on us, that we have to want it and to want it for our own selves. Im really glad to hear you can see your growth, its indeed such a strong and inspiring growth!
Your jealousy is totally understandable, and as you identify it so well, its not actual jealousy and its a very normal feeling that anyone in your shoes would feel. I like how youre reminding yourself that you didnt do anything wrong, I think its a very important thing to do in this time, and I can understand how your husband wants to support you in this way. Its very okay if for now youre feeling like falling apart, sometimes we even need to fall apart so as to get back up even stronger than before, kinda like a phoenix.
Take good care of yourself, you sound like a very strong and clear-minded person, which makes me confident youll figure things out and manage going through this hard time (although just like you say it, its very okay to take your time!)
1) How are you feeling?
It's been another day of overeating, I
2) How did the weekend go? I can't remember.. Oh dear. But mostly staying indoors.
3) What is your own definition of growth? I always wanted to be more productive and learn as many skills as I can. Problem is, I don't think I remember anything for long. Progress is mostly non-linear, two steps forward, one step back. Right now I'm just trying to not compare with anyone, it's hard because we do it subconsciously and wonder if others can do it, why can't I? I'm trying to not be too harsh on myself and doubt my learning capabilities sometimes, but it's also hard to accept that I move slower than I expect myself to. Benchmarking is not meant to be bad, but it acts as a guide to know where I stand, which I felt knowing more makes me even more unsure of myself sometimes like I'm not trying hard enough.
4) Do you feel you have grown on some aspects that matter to you over the years? What else (if theres anything) would you like to grow more on?
I feel like I'm a little lost on what matters to me now. and I feel funny my first thought is to be able to control myself; but then isn't that the only thing I can control??
@unhappymeal
Hey there !
You raise a very interesting point about learning skills and productivity, its true that progress is most of the time not linear. And as time goes by and we dont see much results, especially if theyre not proportional to the time and effort we put in, well it gets disappointing and frustrating. And sometimes you just end up quitting that new skill you were learning and when you come back to it after some weeks/months/years, you have to start it almost all over again… I like to think that some progress stays buried in our brain though, and that sure, two steps forward, one step back, but that means theres still one step forward that is kept within our brain and that can make progress easier. As for comparing, even comparing yourself to what you thought you could do, I get how hard it is. I agree with you that some comparison is needed, as benchmark as you call it, and we often might not like that benchmark. Its important to remember that we all have our area, our things that we can achieve better/easier than others. Its kinda like an actual benchmark: if you try to check which phone is the best and you put a laptop in the list, well the laptop is going to end up last of the list, but does that mean its a bad laptop? No. Its just that it was graded on a phone scale. What Im trying to say is, benchmark is good but we have to keep in mind that some things are more natural to us than others and its very okay, it doesnt mean were bad or that were not trying hard enough, its just that sometimes its just not our thing, and sure with trying extra hard we can get somewhere, but it still wont be our thing.
I get you about feeling lost on what matters to you, it can be hard to identify sometimes. Being able to control yourself though sounds interesting and it could be even more interesting to dig deeper into it, so as to identify what kinds of control and how to implement it, why and so on, this may help think about what matters to you and what control youd like to have (that is if you do want to dig deeper into it of course!)
Take care and thanks for checking in!