Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Monday, November 23rd, 2020
Heya everyone! Here we go again for a fresh new week! Are you ready for it? :p
Just a gentle reminder that we’re here for you, and here for each other <3 You are not alone!
1) How are you feeling today?
2) How did your weekend go?
3) What are some things (material or not) you can’t live without?
Feel free to share anything else in your mind! I’ll be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
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@LinearWaves
1) How are you feeling today?
8/10 I think :p
2) How did your weekend go?
Great! I got to hang out with family
3) What are some things (material or not) you can’t live without?
Definitely my books 📚
@Clara139175
Hey there Clara! 8/10 sounds great!
It's good to hear you've spent a good weekend, hanging out with your family! Do you get to do that often?
Nice! Do you have favourite books?
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves
Hi! I actually don't get to see them as much since they live across the country :( and omg I have so many favorite books I couldn't even begin to list them all.
1) How are you feeling today?
I am feeling a lot of pain today. It is quite difficult to bear, and I feel weak for not being able to endure it.
2) How did your weekend go?
It was uneventful.
3) What are some things (material or not) you can’t live without?
A world, other people, freedom.
@Brynn9
Hey there Brynn! I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so much pain, it sounds really challenging... For what it's worth, we're not made to endure pain, so not being able to endure it doesn't make you weak at all, you're just not a superhero insensitive to pain and that's okay, none of us are ❤️
We definitely need a world and other people in it :p
Thanks for checking in, take care!
1) Whew had a productive therapy session today with quite the breakdown and breakthrough. Initially felt like comforting myself and I did. Later today, I read something triggering unintentionally. Being triggered made me anxious, then excited. I kept looking for more so I could relapse for comfort. That's a problem! I'm responsible for me, including searching for a relapse. I need the pain that has & will come because of the breakthrough to be validated, but by who?
I want someone to say "Hey Lex, you are struggling and it's ok, you are not oversensitive, fake, manipulative. You've no reason to feel this guilty for a childhood coping method, no matter why it started. Blame & looking for the root gets you nowhere. You are here now. You feel vulnerable now and wanting to relapse doesn't make you manipulative. Relapse will hurt you and no, you don't deserve that." But why? I said it to myself so why is my own validation not enough? It'll feel much better long term to not sabotage my recovery progress. I know I'll be stronger for it. I just have to find an alternative that feels just as good and helps my body
3) A thick, fluffy fleece blanket, dark chocolate, some aspect of nature (don't think I could live in a city because of it)
@Lexloveslife
Hey there Lex ! It's good to hear that you've had a productive therapy session today, even though it involved a breakdown. Sometimes we need to breakdown so as to get stronger! As for looking for confort, and then for triggers so as to relapse and get the confort of the relapse, it's really good that you've been able to identify this mechanism! It indeed raises the question of from whom are you expecting validation. It's really understandable though that you'd want to kinda translate the mental pain you've felt in therapy into physical pain. How are you feeling now, did you manage to stop yourself from looking after identifying all this?
As for validation, it's quite tricky... For what it's worth though, you really don't deserve the pain. It's okay to struggle, it's okay to fight bad coping methods, it's okay to not be there yet, as you say, you're here now, you're fighting and doing your best, that's what matters the most! ❤️
Oh good one with blankets! And chocolate of course, especially in this season it's a great combo!
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves
Hi, thank you so much, I got a little teary 
. I'm feeling ok now, yesterday was a wild rush of emotions. I was able to stop myself. My "alternative" was that I went between blaming myself and blaming my therapist for what happened. I believe focusing on blame is harmful too, though it never became physical pain. Sure was exhausting though! So I wrote down my thoughts, hoping that today I'll be able to move forward
@LinearWaves
I'm doing better today. I have been isolating since I tested positive almost 2 weeks ago. That has been harder than I thought. My family is used to me cooking and caring for them. I finally was able to come out yesterday and cook for them. I'm finally getting some energy back.
My weekend was ok. Did some online shopping for Christmas and my daughter has a Dec. birthday.
I can't live without my daughter she is why I get up every morning.
I've been having some negative thoughts lately. On the 27th it will be 3 years since I self harmed. What happened that made me do it has been on my mind. I know there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I had to reschedule my appt. with my therapist because of covid. Now it will be another 2 weeks before I see her. I'll be ok it just helps to have her support.
Hope you are doing well.
@RedHawk6547
Hey there! It's great to hear that you're doing better today and getting some energy back! It's really great that you're finally able to come out of your isolation, i can't imagine how tough that must have been...
It's nice that you've been able to do some online shopping!
Your daughter sounds really amazing and it's just so beautiful to see your love for her!
I'm sorry to hear that you've been having negative thoughts lately, with this date coming closer it's completely understandable that negative thoughts would arise... You've got this! If you feel in need of it, can you call your therapist?
Thanks for checking in, take care!
1) How are you feeling today?
I'm tied. I've had a bad headache most of the day
2) How did your weekend go?
I did everything i had on my list. I'm still here
3) What are some things (material or not) you can’t live without?
Food clothing shelter. i can survive anything
@Flornhope
Hey there! I'm sorry to hear you're feeling tired, headaches lasting for long can be so annoying and draining...
Yay for doing everything in your list!
These definitely are essential!
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves Thank you
Not clean anymore. 1.5 yes down the drain.
@Kiwi9673
Hey there Kiwi, I’m really sorry to hear about your relapse, I hope you’re feeling better now that some time has passed <3
Relapses happen on our road towards recovery, they’re never quite pleasant and it definitely feels like we’re back to square one, that all our efforts are down the drain as you say it. But I’d like to say that this isn’t completely true, yes you’re not clean anymore but during these 1.5 years you still learned how to resist the urges and this learning is still there and can still be used now.
On another note, it could also be useful for the long run to understand what happened, if something specific made it impossible for you to resist the urges, if there was something you could have done differently and so on, not to dwell on what happened because it happened and we can’t go back in time, but to learn from this situation and to be able to handle it better if it was to happen again, so as to grow from it.
I hope you’re feeling better, if anything we’re here for you, take care!