Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Saturday January 26th, 2019
Hey Amazing Community!
Whoo it's the weekend! Happy Saturday!
How are you doing?
If you could have any pet what would it be and why?
Is there anything else you would like to share?
Keep being awesome and have a great saturay. Be as energetic as this little pup!
Taglist
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@bear228
Hey, hey! 
Happy Saturday!
I'm doing okie thanks, hope you are too?
If I could have any pet, I would choose a penguin because they are my favourite animal. 
However, being realistic, I'd probably choose a horse. A family friend of mine, used to have one I rode on the odd occasion but, then they moved.I looove riding and looking after horses so havign one as a pet would be awesome
Erm, fun fact: Horses have bigger eyes than any other mammal that lives on land. 
@LittlebluP
Hey! Sorry I definitely replied to you but it seems my post did not show 
Thinking about it now I believe my wifi went when I was replying to check ins and knowing me I probably completely forgot what I was doing and did something else when it came back!
I am well thank you! Yay for penguins and awesome for horses - I currently horse back ride, but I too would love a horse! I will keep this knoweldge in my section for random facts that make me look smart with my family!
@bear228
Lol, ish okie 
im glad your okay! Hahah, I like the sound of that xD loaf me some random facts
@bear228 Hey, How are you? I have to say I don't think I can quite pull off the energy that pup has. Just not gonna happen. lol
I had a mid week melt down, I can manage to get myself worked up to the point I get sick, which I'm dealing with now. I did actually get some sleep last night about 5 hours worth, now everything just aches. All praises to the makers of Tylenol! But I did keep my hands clean, which is good because I do have a tendency to lash out when I get that worked up.
I would like a rat, yeah I know most people think ew, but they are really cool. They can learn the same things you teach a dog, unfortunately they don't live very long. I had a siamese rat, Simon, a few years ago. He was pretty cool, he could let himself out of his cage to look for me. He knew his name and liked to eat spaghetti.
So I still need to call and set up an appointment with this therapist, I'm trying not to overthink it. I need to just do it. It's time to move forward. It's time to get over the past, or if not get over it, to at least come to terms and accept that the things that happened were not something I had any control over and that I'm not a bad person or at least not as bad as people make me out to be. It should be my opinion of myself that matter's, not others. But I kind of think I've been brainwashed or conditioned or something. For every good thing, there's always something telling me two bad things.
Anyway... Sorry this was so long. I hope you have a great weekend, Take care.
@mytwistedsoul
Hey sorry for no reply! As I said above, I believe my wifi went when I was replying to check ins I apologise for such a delayed response! Well aim for the moon and land in the stars - you might not get as much energy as that pup but at least you can get a little energy. Sorry to hear about your melt down that sounds challenging, how are things going now? Oo a rat, that's cool! Not my personal choice but that sounds a cool pet. I couldn't have a rat I think I would scream the house down, it must be the tails I am afraid of because I have owned hampsters in the past!! That's so awesome to read that you had a rat that could open it's cage and liked spaghetti, if I had a rat I would want one like that. I understand it is hard to reach out to a therapist but I really hope you can do. They should be able to spport you through difficult situations and work out where to go forewards. Well maybe bear can tell you 2 good things!! 1. You are super awesome and I love that you seek support on this platform that is a great step 2. You are super active in the forums and that is so lovely to see, it's good to have familiar faces. Don't let others decide what you do in your life!!!!! Choose your own path, don't go off what others say.
@bear228 No need to apologize, it happens. Mine's been glitchy as well with the weather.
Things aren't too bad. Just driving myself nuts.. thinking..over-thinking.. arguing with myself.
Made me laugh about you screaming the house down, sorry but it made me think of the old Tom and Jerry cartoons, where the lady's on the chair lifting the 50 skirts she has on.
Thank you for telling me 2 good things. Um..does the super awesome come with a cape? Lol! Sorry, it popped into my head when I read that. Even had the da da da daaa music to go with it.
Posting...I try to check myself before I put something out there. Sometimes though, ya know? Then I feel bad. Something's just shouldn't be said outloud.
Thank you for your time, take care
@mytwistedsoul
Haha yes that is so me!!
Aw no for arguing with yourself!! That's no fun!
Of course the super awesome comes with a super awesome cape to go with it and an emphisis on the S for super!! 
Its understandable to check what you're putting out there! You wouldn't want some random polar bear reading about you and then giving you *HUGS* now would you In all seriousness though it's good to be mindful of what you're putting out there I am glad you are precautious
@bear228 cool super bear, thank you. Uh...no hugs, yeah? Sorry I don't mean to be rude, just not a fan of being touched. I did realize though they need a high 5 emoji or something.
I quit arguing with myself and did what I needed to and called and made an appointment. So now I have something to worry about instead of what if's. Now I'm trying not to pace or freak out and just sit in a corner.
@mytwistedsoul
Not hugs but high paw is okay? and yay for calling I hope that it will be well.
@bear228 Paws are ok, thanks. Sorry, it's rude on my part. Really nervous
@mytwistedsoul
There was no rudeness at all!! I can understand being nervous
Hey there @bear228 !! How's it going??
I've had a mixed day at work. The first half wasn't too bad, but the second half of my shift was a nightmare. I cried in the shower afterwards, and it's causing me to have urges to hurt myself again. I really don't want to do it because I'll be 2 weeks clean as of this upcoming monday, but I'm in such a bad state right now and I'm not sure if I will make it. At least typing all of this out is helping distracting me for another little while.
If I could have any pet, I would have another cat. I've grown up with cats so taking care of it would be no problem. My favourite breed is a shorthair tortoiseshell. Scottish Folds aren't too far behind though. I'd say Callicos are my third favourite.
On a more cheerful note, I'm participating in a relay fundraiser for cancer awareness with my soccer team in March. Our goalie's dad passed away recently and I want to support her and her family as much as I can. It's taking place in a building with a track, and we're supposed to stay up all night and walk around the track. It's a good time for a good cause.
Anyways, that's enough of me for now. Take care.
@CentreMid
Hey! Sorry for a slow reply! Thats tough having urges to harm yourself, I'm glad you had the chance to try and distract yourself even for a short period of time. Wow staying clean for how long you have already is amazing! I am so proud of you!! How are things going for you now? Cats are great pets! My condolences on the loss your goal keepers father. However I love that you'll be doing a fundraiser - this is a great idea and the plans for it sound a great way to fundraise!
