Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Saturday, March 30th, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I am really happy to hear from you again. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
What is your favourite self-care activity? Could you do it today maybe? :)
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@redmark hi. Hope you are ok today
How are you feeling today?
Not good at all. I'm alternating between crying, sleeping and self harming. Gotta call the hotline today, bc I need someone to take care of me and my health, so I don't do something stupid, like getting run down by a car or a train.
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it?
I have had a terrible week. Or monday and the next day was fine, but then I got stressed out on wednesday and started self harming again. And from then on it has been down hill. I don't understand shit, and I don't really wanna eat, but somehow I do it anyways. It's like I'm eating my feelings again, and I don't want that! I just wanna eat normally but I can't.
I hope tomorrow will be better, but I'm pretty sure I'm hospitalized tomorrow, so I don't really know anything.
What is your favourite self-care activity? Could you do it today maybe?
Sleeping. If I feel bad I sleep and pray that the bad feelings are gone when I wake up. Other than that I ride my bike, but I can't do that when I'm suicidal, bc then I will end up being hit by a car or a bus or a truck or something like that. So I gotta stay in today, and that makes me feel crazy, bc I NEED to get out and ride my bike every day :(
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time right now but I want you to know that I am really proud of you for being so strong and brave to reach out for help at a hard time like this, I know it can be hard and scary but you are doing a really good job with keeping your safety in mind like that. :)
I know it can be really hard for you right now dealing with all those strong and confusing feelings and thoughts but I want you to know that you are not alone in this. Besides the helpline we are always here for you as well. :)
Although, I know this is not the same as having someone there with you but if there is absolutely anything we may be able to help with or you would just like to share anything we are here for you and together we can get through this. I do believe in you.
You know I do really admire how strong you are and just how thoughtful you still are and taking care of yourself like that with avoiding such possible dangerous situations like you may face when riding your bike. I hope that they will be able to help you at the helpline and, either way, I just want you to know that you are truly an amazing person and I am just really proud of you for being you and doing such an amazing job through all of that you are going through right now. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
Heya @redmark !! How's it going?
I'm really tired. I had work today after a downward spiral of bad sleeping habits. I know I'll never regain what sleep I do need but hopefull I can get at least a little bit of it back tonight by going to bed early.
Work was a time and a half. The place I work at has a new rewards card promotion and I get it, they're new, but it was reeeaaally frustrating to deal with people. I guess sometimes I have to remember that I've known about this for a few weeks now (I get a heads up about new offers and products) and some people are just learning about for the first time.
As much as I love going to the gym, the best self-care thing I need right now is sleep. As soon as I get home, I'm going to get some dinner, send out a few job applications (I wanna switch jobs but I won't quit my current one untlil Ive secured a new position), maybe, and I mean a big MAYBE, study for about half an hour and then I'm going to sleep. I'm not good.
I'm sorry for how angry all of this sounds. Hopefully going to bed early will help. Take care.
Hey there @CentreMid *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am doing fine, finally got a bit of breather after the end-of-quarter craziness at work from Monday to Friday, feels nice. Thank you for asking! :)
Oww, I know that lack of sleep can really make everything that much harder and I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with that now but I do hope that you will be able to get some sleep back tonight as well. :)
Oh, I can imagine that confusion when a new system is coming in. In a way, I guess it is good that at least you have been told about it ahead of time, even though it can put a lot more pressure on you and I know it can be furstrating. I do hope that things will calm down soon as everyone figures those cards out. :)
That sounds like a good plan for today I think. I mean, if you are able to get enough sleep - or at least catch up a bit with lost sleep - it can be really helpful in the long run and allow you to concentrate more in your job as well as while you may be out job hunting and/or learning. ^-^
It did not sound angry and it actually does sound a bit frustrating, especially considering the lack of sleep you have to deal with at the moment. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey how are you?
Today's not too good. Everything just is off. Just can't settle on anything. Anxiety is just crazy off the charts. Freaking headaches seems like every day. Doesn't help any thinking. But some of the thoughts are so dark, so maybe thats good. Tired..always... soul tired.
The week was mixed. Couple ok days, some really not so good. Some serious urge problems. Try walk away but the thoughts follow into eveything. Emotions are just all over the place. Nothing ever levels off any more. It's frustrating.
Usually hanging in the woods but that's not even fun today. Had a dog pile on the couch and watched some Scooby Doo.
Have a good weekend, take care
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (no pressure tho, just if you would like to have one :) )
It is always really nice to have you around here!
I am tired but doing okay. I have survived this end of quarter - at least I do not work on the weekend this time, so now I will be able to recharge, so, yay! Thank you for asking. :)
Aww, those headaches sound annoying, I am sorry that you have to deal with them. Also, I know that anxiety can really be just overwhelming at times but I want you to know that you are not alone in this and if there is anything we may be able to help you with, or just write out some of those thoughts or anything I would be glad to listen :)
Not that it will solve it, but I have learned that it can still help. Although, it is maybe only me, but I would be always glad to listen non-the-less. ^-^
I guess that is kind of an annoying things with thoughts that you cannot really run away from them... Still, I think a walk can help, to clear your head and to get away a bit from everything and probably be able to even find some new perspective to see things. At least I know that the walks I have been going to have always helped me to and was always sort of my space to just think a bit - in a good way, if that makes sense. :)
Oh....Scooby Doo sounds fun. Although it is my father who is the one of the series I just casually enjoy it sometimes. ^-^
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark Congratulations on the quarter end. it's always nice when the rush is over. Sorry for interrupting your rest. Yeah it's just one of those days.
Do you ever feel like you're at war..with yourself. Like a tower defense game. Your mind is the stronghold but there's all these warring factions that want to over throw your command. They're not all bad guys or good guys, just a mix of everything. BUt they want that stronghold. Yeah it sounds messed up. It is messed up. Yeah life isn't a game. Well it sort of is. Just the best way to describe it.
Went for a walk..worked.. now there's 4 irons in the fire. Something need to get completed. Started some things in the green house. It's just this war..It feels like it never ends. Tactics change..plans somedays the fighting isn't as bad, but then other's..they bring out the cannons. It just doesn't make sense.
Back to Zayde Wolf - Wildest One's - No Mercy
Thanks..enjoy the rest of your weekend.
@mytwistedsoul You are not interrupting anything here. I have the choice and I make it to come here and talk to you and the reason is because I like doing so, so do not worry. :)
Ohh....hmm....maybe somewhat similar, like little battles - and some bigger one - but I would not say I have ever felt like that all out war with my own mind. It makes sense tho, at least I can somewhat relate to it based on my own experience when I have had to fight that smaller battles sometimes. I am sorry to hear that you have to go through all that right now, is there maybe something we would be able to help you with? :)
I mean, you are not alone in this, although, we may be limited here, but as best as I - and others - can here, we are here for you.
I am glad to hear that you have been able to take a walk in today and all those things you are working on sound really interesting although, I can imagine having so many things on your mind to deal with has to be really hard. Do you think you could pick one thing at a time that you would like to focus on and try to keep yourself busy with that without worrying the others? :)
Again, thank you for the song recommendations. The second one especially really matchin what you have shared here which is quite amazing. I mean, I am always so amazed how there seems to be a song for almost every mood and situation in life. Music is quite awesome... ^-^
...and so are you
@redmark I don't understand why..seems like all I do is complain. I mean it's kind of nice having someplace to voice concerns and get other's outlook on things. I just always feel like I'm imposing...intruding..interrupting..the 3 i's. So if I am, I am sorry .
Yeah I need to pick one and finish it. Probably the book case.
My heads alittle quieter at the moment. Still dark out..Enjoy it while I have it, yeah?
There's some really cool new music out there. Found another one.
Robert DeLong- Don't wait up for me ...really good..amazing what he does by himself.
Um...Thank you for always taking time to talk with me ..sorry for eating up your time, whether you say it's ok or not. I do appreciate it.
Take care
Hi red
I'm feeling ok today, for the first time in a while, so its a little strange but nice.
I've had a really stressful week, it was the last week of term and I had a load of deadlines but now its over and I have a month before my next deadline so I can try and relax a bit.
I love going outside and being in nature, I haven't gone anywhere in months and its been hard to just see grey buildings continuously. Now I'm at my parents house for a few weeks and there is so much more greenery and hopefully I can go to the nature reserve tomorrow :)
How are you?
Love and hugs
Hey there @FloweringBunny *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
I am really glad to see you around here! I have missed you a bit
I am really glad to hear that you are feeling okay today, I can imagine it has to be really nice. :)
Especially with all the stress of deadlines and exams gone for a month now. I do hope you will be able to recharge and relax and that you will keep feeling okay, like that, so you can enjoy this little break you have. ^-^
Ohh, that sounds aweosme. I am really glad to hear that you have been able to get away from the greyness of the city and be in the "nature" a bit more now at your parents place. I can totally agreee that just being out in nature and out on the fresh air can help so much :)
Actually I can kind of share your sentiment I think. Generally every end of quarter is just crazy busy for us at work but this was the last week of it and now we are heading into the second quarter with things slowing down again and that feels nice. Although, I am still a bit tired from the EOQ rush, but it is okay. Thank you for asking :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark *hugs* I've missed you too I'm glad work is slowing down for you now, hopefully both of us can take some time for self care :)
How are you feeling today? I'm feeling kind of low key and mellow
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? This week has been fine but I have had some not so happy thoughts about the way I look :(
What is your favourite self-care activity? Could you do it today maybe? My favorite self-care activity would either be showering (which I already did) and riding horses (which I can't do today but I am going to the barn Tuesday)
Hey there @maddielovesyou *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling mellow. I know it can be hard sometimes to be positive about ourselves and, why I do not know how you look, I just want you to know that we are really glad to have you here with us, just the way you are. :)
I am a firm believer that everyone has something beautiful to them, including you, and I am really glad that I have got at least to know you a little but and I want you to know if there is anything I may be able to help you with I am usually around - or I will get to posts as soon as I can anyway ^-^
Oh....horse riding is...interesting. I love horses but I only tried it once and it was kind of scary. Although I was a rather small kid so it may be because of that. It sounds like a really nice way to practice some self care tho. :)
Stay awesome!
