Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Saturday, May 4th, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I have really missed you all. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? :)
What is your favourite self-care activity? Have you got to do it lately? :)
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@redmark
ive not replied to one of these for a while. but thought id check in.
How are you feeling today? Not so good cant leave the house struggling with thoughts today. ime just a bit mellow and empty.
How has this week been for you? A bit of a rollercoaster monday Tuesday i successfuly when to school and was reasonably good. Then Tuesday night was a disaster i broke my 3 week clean record and started to feel suisidal i almost took all my pills again i stayed in the house getting worse and worse untill friday when i made myslef go with a freind to get here ears peirced. I showered that day too small victories i gues. Today ive slept a lot and felt bad but im proud of yesterday.
What is your favourite self-care activity? Have you got to do it lately? I think its fencing i feel happier when i go and i feel like everything isnt quite as bad. Ive also found hot showers so hot i get little red burns that sting really helpful.
Hey there @Hope2come *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
It is okay if you take a break from the check-ins, you are always welcome to post here no matter what :)
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard day tho. I know that those thoughts and feelings can be really overwhelming at times but I want you to know that you are not alone in this and I am really proud of you for reaching out to us here, as I know it had to be hard, but you are doing a really good job :)
You deserve some time for yourself to recharge and relax a bit after yesterday. I mean, some days just surviving can be an achievement and you have even got yourself to go out and spend some time with your friend as well as taking care of yourself and taking a shower. I mean, it is definitely something to be proud of and, now, you are reaching out hear and sharing about your feelings, you are relaly making good progression :)
Oh....fencing sounds interesting. I have never done it but it really sounds like something that can help you just turn your brain away from everything and just be there at the moment :)
Also, hot showers are good as well. Maybe not burning hot buut hot showers in general can be really nice too! :)
Stay strong awesome!
@redmark Hey How are you? I hope your cold is better.
Not too bad...kind of ok...sort of. Maybe, idk. Lol, sorry. How about I'm not sure? We had one heck of a storm last night. The lightening was just amazing. Lit up the woods and thunder, man it was awesome!
This week...oh man this week has been just crazy all over the place. First off - I've been dying to tell you that we have dealt with the Red Queen. Which makes me really nervous. Sick to my stomach, broke out with hives nervous. There are so many things hitting the fan right now. There was some serious SH urges but today is day 8.
I've been having some problems with doubts and second guessing myself pretty much about everything. I'm finding that people just are really confusing to me. They say one thing but their actions say the opposite. Tbh...I'm not sure how to handle it. It's easier if I'm face to face with someone, body language is easier to read. People talk about having good insight into myself, but that's confusing me too. Google can only help so much. The definition just..idk..doesn't make sense to me. Because nothing feels clear and there's alot I don't understand. Idk..nevermind lol!
Woods, walking in the woods, sitting in the woods. Watching the wildlife. Yep- yesterday. There's a clearing that the deer bring their young to and the babies are still wobbly on their feet but by next week they'll be running around alittle and playing. uh... I think that's it.
2 songs... The Score - Dreamin' Unsecret - Unstoppable (awesome song) both are actually but Unstoppable has been on repeat.
Sorry I wrote you a book. Thank you, have a great weekend, take care
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (you know, just in case, no pressure)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
My cold is...well...still here. I was getting better but then my work-week started and I felt "good enough" to go back to work soo I still have somewhat of a cold. Good news is that it is a long weekend for me - Monday is a holiday for me - so I will, hopefully, be able to get out of this cold completely. Thank you for asking! :)
Feelings are confusing, it is okay if you do not know exactly how you feel at times. I am still glad that it is something, most likely, close to "not too bad" :)
I am really glad to hear that as well I am not the only one who absolutely loves how lightnings can light up the whole sky at night. I mean, I just love to watch lightnings as well ^-^
Ohh....I can imagine that it really had to stir up so many memories and feelings in you but I am so very proud of you for being so strong and resisting all those urges. Also, I am just generally glad to have you here and I am happy that you are sharing this with us and, also, I am really proud of you, as I know that it has to be hard. :)
People are confusing. You are right but, well, the way I look at it is that I just more try to be there for someone and encourage, support them rather than trying to label them or "understand" them because, really, it is way over me, it feels like. Sadly I feel like just trying ot listen to someone and be there for them at the moment is often overlooked and people really try to just figure people out and put them into little boxes. I mean, I do really dislike labels anyway. I guess, something that one of my group-mates told me when I was visiting a local trans self-help group told me did really stick with me: "There are basically as many genders out there as many people" - and, to apply this in general just as gender is a spectrum and not just a binary thing most of the things are more of a spectrum as well. In short, you are you, a unique and beautiful person :)
I mean, I hope this bit of rant made at least some sense :P
Aww, that sounds really nice. I am glad to hear that you have been able to see that deer family yesterday. It is indeed really fascinating how quickly animals "grow up" in a sense that they will already be able to run like that very soon. Nature is pretty fascinating and beautiful, isn't it? :)
Unstoppable really has some pretty amazin vibe to it. I am glad to hear that you are feeling like that and, once again, you are sharing these sort of "fight songs" :)
Don't worry, you cannot out-ramble me anyway :P
Stay awesome!
@redmark Thank you. I hope you can get rid of your cold over the weekend. Drink some oj or something.
It's a little hard when it feels as though they've given you a label themselves. Idk I'm probably over thinking the whole thing.
As always, thank you for your time, and the kind, thoughtful words. The pep talk. I always feel a little better after a talk with you. Thanks for that.
Feel better, take care
@redmark Sorry for bouncing in yet again
Katatonia - Unfurl - My favorite - calming.. Thanks again for sharing.
@mytwistedsoul Katatonia sure has a very unique feel to it and I do really like it as well. I think my favourite might be Departer from then but Unfurl sure has some calming vibes to it as well and it is close up there too :)
@redmark
How are you feeling today? :)
I am feeling ok.
How has this week been for you? :)
This week has been a little stressful but very productive
What is your favourite self-care activity? Have you got to do it lately? :)
Idk if this counts, but watching YouTube videos (which I did last night)
Hey there @PurpleSnail *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am glad to hear that you are feeling okay today. I hope that you will have the time now to get a well-deserved break for yourself after woring so hard for the whole week and just be able to recharge a little bit. :)
Binge-watching Youtube to start it sounds like a really nice way to do so ^-^
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Today has been a very emotional day and I'm not sure why. As long as I stay distracted I'm better. Distractions only last so long though. I haven't done much self care lately besides sleeping and I think I'm just doing that to avoid the thoughts. Take care of yourself.
Hey there @RedHawk6547 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh, some days sure can be harder than others but I am glad to just have you here wuth us and that you have shared it with us. I mean, you are not alone in this, we all are here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you with. Getting enough sleep as well can be really helpful so it sounds like a really nice way to take care of yourself :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? :)
I am feeling okay I got a new haircut and I'm feeling pretty confident!
How has this week been for you? :)
It has been pretty rough but it is okay because it's the weekened and I get to look forward to a better week next week!
What is your favourite self-care activity? Have you got to do it lately? :)
My favorite self-care activity is probably watching fish swim. This is super weird I know but it is very calming to just watch them swim around and do their thing. I have done it a lot lately just to get out of my head and calme down. It really works!
Hey there @HayleeBugg *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
yay! I am sure you will totally rock that new haircut ^-^
I do hope that you will be able to relax now after such a week and that I do really like your optimism looking forward and I do really hope that you will have a nice week coming up for you :)
I think there are like streams of it on Youtube and such. I remember that some TV channels used to just air fishes swimming around in an aquarium at night back when I was watching TV. There is something calming to it for sure, I do not really know what either tho :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today?
I feel like garbige, my mother took away my instagram account, and she doesn't know that that is one of the ways that i keep my head from becoming to loud and saying things.
How has this week been for you? :)
this week has been garbige, It has been like this because my mother doesn't let me seak help from other sorces other than her, and I don't trust her, so I have to sneek having this account.
Hey there @porter2927 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh, I am sorry to hear that, it can be really hard when something like that is taken away of you and you are not able to vent and clear your headspace anymore. I am wondering if you could try to lead a diary or journal in the meantime, as a way to just write things out as well and help you to keep your head from becoming too loud. Also, of course, you are not alone in this we all are here for you. :)
I understand tho that it can be hard when there is someone controlling like that in your life. I am wondering if there is maybe someone you could talk to about these to get an other perspetie on things. A teacher, a school counselor or any friend you may trust? :)
Of course, no pressure on you to do anything, just ideas but it is okay if you do not feel comfortable with them. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
