Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Thursday, April 30th, 2020
Heya everyone, happy Thursday and last day of April!
Today I wanted us to talk about perspectives, more precisely feeling overwhelmed and seeing the bigger picture.
BUT If youre not feeling like reading, feel free to just skip to the check-in prompt or to even check-in by sharing how youre feeling and whats on your mind, theres no obligation at all to read my thoughts :p
Too often we find ourselves caught in the moment, overwhelmed and forgetting about the bigger picture. It feels like theres no way the situation will get better, when actually in a week/month/year (depending on the situation), most -if not all- of it is handled and sometimes its even like it never happened. Yet, right in the situation were not able to see this bigger picture and this can sometimes drive us to self-harm, sometimes to find some control where we cant find any.
We have en expression in French called drowning in a glass of water which sums up feeling overwhelmed really well: from up close all you can see is water and theres no way to get out of it, but if you take a step back its only a glass of water. Which brings me to that step back, that step needed to breathe a second and put things into perspective, that step that can help us calm down and not turn to self-harm.
Now there are some ways that I believe can help us learn taking that step back more easily. It's not exhaustive as Ill only share what has been helping me lately and Ill be looking forward reading your own ways or thoughts and ideas!
● A first thing that can help putting things into perspectives is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness comes in many ways and Im no expert so Im not sure to get it all right, but the way I see there is a first kind of mindfulness related to our surroundings. For example as its Spring over here, the flowers are blooming and we can smell them in the air, petals are flying, the grass is growing and the wind make it move like waves. If we look up we can see clouds of many shapes always changing. At night we can see stars shining, making constellations and the moon sometimes full, sometimes in quarters. Where Im going with all that is that by being more aware about our surroundings, we also notice how fast they change, how things are never set in stone, we also notice that whatever is happening to us, the world is still out there. Plus by seeing everything happening in the nature, in space, in the world, it can make our problems feel less important to us.
● Another kind of mindfulness to practice implies being more in touch with our body and mind, how we feel whether its mentally or physically, also to remember what our body can do. Some ways to practice these are guided (or not guided) meditation and yoga. Both can help you recenter and focus on you. Thanks to this kind of mindfulness, we can listen more and better to ourselves and we can find it easier to take a minute and breathe when things get tough, so as to avoid getting too caught up in the moment.
● Both kinds of mindfulness can also be related to gratefulness, as by being more mindful it often drives us to be more grateful, to our surroundings (nature and people), to our own self (body and mind), to our situation. One way to practice gratefulness youve probably heard of is to think of 3 things youre grateful for at the end of the day (or another moment of the day, or on a weekly basis, you do you!). This can progressively help us realize there are positive things we dont take enough into account when in the contrary we tend to take the negative ones too much into account.
● Sports! It may sound silly but theres a whole mindset coming with sports and you dont even have to be an athlete to get that mindset. When working out, we often push ourselves and struggle, sometimes it feels like we wont be able to run that extra mile we planned, or that we wont be able to finish this set of push-ups, yet we often can push further, were out of breath, sweaty, exhausted and sometimes get muscle cramps the next day, but we still managed to do it. We endure it and get through it no matter how hard it felt in the moment, and this mindset can help us do that with other life situations. Plus it may only be my personal belief, but I've always felt like feeling strong physically was helping me be stronger mentally as well.
Now I know that some situations will stay overwhelming no matter how many steps back we take, and Im not even saying that by taking a step back things get any easier or the situation magically gets better. But maybe with taking a step back, were able to breathe in and out despite the situation, and to gather some more strength to face it instead of letting it get the best of us and drive us to negative and even harmful thoughts.
To sum things up, I wanted all that to be a reminder of how strong we all are!
1) How are you feeling?
2) How is the week going for you so far?
3) What usually helps you when feeling overwhelmed?
4) Can you think of other ways you could apply to take a step back when feeling overwhelmed?
Feel free to share anything, Ill be looking forward to reading and hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe and hugs for those who want them x
@12kirby12 @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @akagmai97 @Akor1 @AlexanderSpamilton @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Annabanana1014 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @Aryspencer15 @Asher2343 @asheroo92 @AstronomySkies @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @avagraco @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @beniba08 @Bethfarmer @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @bugggy @Bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @CarverT007 @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @Chester77 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @conscientiousOwl7693 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Creativepig @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @DaysiaKelly @delicateWindow53 @demonicangel @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @earthangel222 @earthkid @easyMap6620 @Ediexo @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @ellie455 @emily0303 @emmadancer @energeticApricot2459 @Eny0 @epitium @Erato @Evanora @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FindingPeaceWithin1 @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @FrenchMarbles @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnyAcres8364 @funnybanana4728 @gayisok101 @generousKiwi8190 @gentleParadise1427 @Gin @GodOnlyKnows51 @Godsbae @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @grej @HannahO11 @happydays447 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @imthewalrus @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @IntellectualCake @intellectualCake2509 @intellectualHuman6814 @IntelligentWheel627 @Ismokereed @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @ivoryPenguin3999 @Iwannaliveanddream @iwishuwell @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @Kassy7cups @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @Kiwi16 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @LauraB1996 @Leanna @leaveearly2716 @LetMeHeatItOut2 @Lexloveslife @Lilbabygirl @limegreen002 @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @Logybear @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LovelyAnathema @Lovelydovee @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @MJLV98 @modestCat9806 @Moosewithducks @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @navyBlueberry2704 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @notmyselftoday @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @PessimisticHuman @PGP30 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @pumpkinpi @PunkyKitty @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietman4875 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @SadAFSeth @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Sana6399 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @sgraceroe @ShadowTag @shymelody @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @starkmechanic3000 @stellaadaviss @stellaluna04 @Stitch8989 @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @suling1986 @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @TheAtticusFinch @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @TheWeeb @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @Waveywoop @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WitchySalem @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yolo @youandmesohappily @Yovela @Zammn @zebrasarcastic
1) How are you feeling?
Fine, bit of a stomach ache
2) How is the week going for you so far?
Pretty good, looking into the reason for me gaining weight the last couple of months. My doctor says I shouldn't be caused by any of my meds. So now I'm looking into my diet and exercise, to see what I can change
Also, I sent an email to apply for volunteering work
3) What usually helps you when feeling overwhelmed?
I notice that my breath gets more shallow, so I try to breath calmly and deeply till o feel slightly better
4) Can you think of other ways you could apply to take a step back when feeling overwhelmed?
Try to look at situations from a stranger's perspective
Put any negative voices in the corner of your mind, acknowledging it but shutting it up, so you can see the bigger picture more easily
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Hey there Madara ! I hope your stomach is feeling better since earlier as this can be quite tiring to have on ongoing pain like that..
Its great to hear your week has been going well so far, and that youre looking out for yourself by trying to identify the cause of your gain weight. I hope you can tackle this problem and make yourself a good diet/exercise routine that also suits you!
Its a good thing that you were able to identify your breath getting more shallow when feeling overwhelmed, sometimes these details (well, which are actually not so much details) can go unnoticed for long.
These are amazing ways to take a step back indeed, thanks for sharing them, especially the one with acknowledging but shutting up the negative voice. Ive often seen it described as looking at the clouds but letting them pass and not following them, which Ive always found was a pretty metaphor to describe it!
Thanks for checking in and letting us know how youre doing, I hope the rest of your week goes just as good if not better, take care!
1) How are you feeling? I'm hurting. Used up alot of my joints when I was young, most of the day I felt like there was a electrical current going through my head. I feel empty inside.
2) How is the week going for you so far? Like dukie. Still unemployed. My truck needs repair. Everything is braking down. That's life
3) What usually helps you when feeling overwhelmed? Drugs. But I'm not going that anymore. I don't have much else. So I'm in a conundrum.
4) Can you think of other ways you could apply to take a step back when feeling overwhelmed? I guess I don't know. If you take a step back and look at the big picture. You see that in no time at all nothing we do matters one bit. Then I wonder why continue. It doesn't matter anyway.
Side note I relapsed. Nothing big but it happened. So that's not good.
@Flornhope
Hey there, I
@LinearWaves Thank you. The relapse wasn't much but it still happened. I haven't had any real issues with drugs once I quit I guess it was pore humor I don't know why I mentioned it. As far as nothing matters that is each individuals own problem not much anybody can do to put value on anything for someone else. Thank you again.
@Flornhope
You're more than welcome! I get you about the relapse, but what's important as for any relapse is to get back up again, they happen and they can be upsetting but well, it's how recovery is, it's not easy so it's okay to fall during the way, we just have to brush our hands and knees and continue
Have a good weekend!
@LinearWaves
1) How are you feeling?
I'm ok. I don't feel as depressed as I did for a few days ago, so that's good. I really wanted to SH yesterday though, but as I was at my grandma's apartment I couldn't. I didn't have my blades, and maybe that was a good thing. I haven't SH'ed since the beginning of March I think, so that's a long while. I can't gauranty that I will never do it again, and that I will not want it, but I'm taking this one day at a time.
I have been at my grandma's until now too, and we had a good time cooking dinner toghether and I actually wanted to eat the food we made, so that's good right?
2) How is the week going for you so far?
It has been ok. I mean it's almost friday, and I haven't felt better than I do now in the last week, so that's great. I have been out exploring the new area while being slightly anxious, but it's ok. I know that's how I feel and always will feel I guess. But I know it will get better, I know that. It always does, when I get used to the area, so I guess this will be good at some point :)
3) What usually helps you when feeling overwhelmed?
Bikerides help. Or music. Or just sleeping. That helps everytime. Or taking my emergency meds.
4) Can you think of other ways you could apply to take a step back when feeling overwhelmed?
Music can be good I guess?
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Hey there ! Its good to hear youre feeling ok and especially better than a few days ago! Its also good that you havent self-harmed in a while, but most importantly its even better that youre taking it one day at a time, theres no pressure at all! Its also really nice to hear that you had a good time cooking with your grandmother and that you wanted to eat what you had cooked with her, especially considering your relationship with food. I find cooking pretty helpful when it comes to improving ones relationship with food, as you know what you used and you got involved in the realisation!
It sounds cool that youve been able to explore your surroundings, hopefully the anxiety will slowly fade!
These are all important things! Thanks for sharing them, take care and enjoy the rest of your week!
1) How are you feeling?
Earlier I was really depressed to the point of contacting a hotline. Had a cup of coffee and now I feel a bit better
2) How is the week going for you so far?
Well, yesterday I relapsed. I was feeling very impulsive yesterday because I couldn't see the point in not self destructing. The week overall has been chaotic emotion-wise.
3) What usually helps you when feeling overwhelmed?
Coffee 
It lets me check out emotionally for a while. Journaling doesn't help as much as it used to. Getting organized doesn't help as much either. I used to love rigid schedules because I knew exactly what I was going to do and when I was going to do it. Now it just kinda feels pointless but maybe my attitude needs to shift still. Ironic how when I'm determined to start detaching, every negative thing floods me. Maybe this flood is supposed to happen before the detaching can start, that's what is keeping me going right now along with coffee. Maybe I'm supposed to push everyone away and start over with new people and new habits, and it'll keep happening until I actually have new people and new habits in my life instead of returning to the previous.
4) Can you think of other ways you could apply to take a step back when feeling overwhelmed?
I have no idea. In the past my therapist suggested waiting a while before sending emails, or writing angry messages but not sending them. Waiting out the urge to SH or at least giving it 20 minutes before I do anything. But I've also been told it's ok to SH right now if it keeps me from something worse? Idk how you all feel about that. Personally I found it odd but when it was said to me, I definitely took a step back and was like "wait a sec. what? " - if I was shocked that someone who was supposed to help keep me safe said that, why am I not shocked when I say these things to myself? Aren't I supposed to be keeping myself safe?
@Lexloveslife
Hey there Lex! Its good to hear from you!
Its nice to hear that youre feeling a bit better after this cup of coffee, and that you reached out when needed. I hope the rest of the day and week can go better from now on!
Im sorry though to hear about your relapse and that the week has been so chaotic for now. I get you about feeling so impulsive that it doesnt seem to be a point in not self-destructing, its also why I tried to make this check-in oriented towards feeling overwhelmed, as its what happens in times like these. We get kinda blinded and act impulsively with only a partial view of things.
Yay for coffee, it definitely have lots of effects on us, in addition to the productivity boost it can offer. Its also nice to see that youre not rigid with things and just going with the flow we could say, not sticking to something anymore if it doesnt help much anymore. We change so its normal that our habits and everything we do and how we feel towards things also change. I like to see it as a kind of cycle, we face a struggle, we figure out something that help, we adapt, the struggle stops or the help isnt helpful anymore, we figure something else out, or another struggle come, its all about adaptation and being flexible! New starts can definitely feel good every once in a while, whether its a complete fresh start or not, sometimes it just feels good to start fresh.
Waiting a while before acting does seem like a good idea, especially against impulsivity is its a reoccurring issue. As for what your therapist told you about it being okay to SH right now if its to keep you from worse, I actually had a therapist told me something pretty similar, basically that it was fine to SH since I wasnt doing it to end it, which was pretty shocking as well. But I guess I see the point there: sure SH isnt ideal, but if in the moment its the only thing that helps, then maybe its okay. But that being said, in this mindset its important to work on a long term solution as SH has to be some kind of fix only, like only as an emergency thing and the rest of the time, when we feel like its possible to wait 20 minutes or to try and do something for a bit, then we should. Im guessing that its what both our therapists meant by that but clearly not well-explained. Your safety comes first no matter what, but they may be right that SH can be safety as well in some emergency cases. At least thats how I understand it all! But then again, safety first and long-term coping mechanisms are to be worked on so as to avoid this kind of emergencies. Okay this is getting long so Ill stop there, thanks a lot for checking in and letting us how youre doing, its always nice to hear from you, take care!
@LinearWaves Great post waves <3 I love the perspective part
1) How are you feeling?
I'm feeling really good this morning! I had a late night talking to friends but it was completely worth it.
2) How is the week going for you so far?
This week has been really good for me so far. I had a few small bumps but besides that, I think I handled everything pretty well.
3) What usually helps you when feeling overwhelmed?
I have actually learned how to talk about what I'm going through and that honestly helps me a lot compared to other things.
4) Can you think of other ways you could apply to take a step back when feeling overwhelmed?
Yes! I think deep breathing helps with finding mental clarity when I'm feeling overwhelmed :)
@TheAtticusFinch
Hey Atticus! Thanks for that!
Im glad to hear you were feeling good, which I hope lasted ! Its sure that late nights talking to friends can be hard the next day due to the lack of sleep but theyre so worth it when the conversation is so good!
Its amazing that you have learned to talk about what youre feeling, its often underrated though but being able to put words on what youre feeling, being able to talk about it and to be listened to, it can bring a huge relief already. Im happy to hear youve learned that and its been helping you that much!
Thanks a lot for sharing and letting us know how youre doing, I hope your week finished well without any other bump! Take care!
@LinearWaves
my girlfriend broke up with me and all i was told is "You don't have to hurt anymore." but she has done this all before. She'll find help.. She'll change to someone else... But here i am broken on the floor, crying...
@Asher2343
I'm really sorry to hear about how you're feeling due to your girlfriend breaking up with you... I'm all heart with you through this really hard time, if we can support you in any way don't hesitate, take care