Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Thursday, August 27th, 2020
Heya amazing people! It's Thursday already, time flies!
For today, here's a little reminder <3 When struggling, we can easily feel that we're alone as people around us might not understand/see our struggles, so every now and then, it's good to remember that despite what you may think, you are not alone in this, there are others that can support you, there are others that can understand what you're going through and listen to you, you are not alone! (plus with this subcom, if you ever need support, we're here for you <3)
1) How are you?
2) How has your week been so far? Are there some things you can improve/work on/do for the rest of it?
3) If there is anything on your mind, bothering you or just that you'd like to share, feel free to rant or share or talk about it!
4) What is the lastest cool/interesting/funny thing you've learned/seen?
Feel free to share anything else in your mind! Ill be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
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@LinearWaves
This is a bad day. I found out yesterday that one of the childhood abusers died. I'm not sure what I should be feeling and theres too many different thoughts and they're sort of muddied
There's a troll who is extremely abusive here. Everytime they get kicked out they return with a vengeance and there doesn't seem to be much anyone can do to keep them out - Idk I probably shouldn't talk about it here. It just makes things so much harder
Idk - there's urges and I kind of dont care - I probably deserve it anyway
Sorry - I just needed to get some of it out - somewhere - if the troll see this - well it's just more for them brag about - more for them to use for whatever reason they need to justify what they do
@mytwistedsoul
Hey there ! Im really sorry to hear that today is a bad day… I totally understand how finding that out would bring challenging and very mixed emotions as well as many thoughts and memories… I hope that you can be as gentle and patient as possible with yourself, to take as long as you need to process it all since it is very okay to take the time you need <3
Im sorry to hear about this troll being so abusive… Its true that its tough to do anything about it except kicking them out again and again and again, but the harm is still done every time before they do get kicked out :\ You mentioned you probably shouldnt talk about it here, I just wanted to say that its very okay to talk about it! I really hope that this troll doesnt make you feel like it isnt a safe place anymore and that there are some things that you cant mention anymore, as what matters the most is you. That being said, I really hope the safety part of this site is being improved because this isnt okay at all…
About the urges, are there some coping mechanisms that usually help that you could turn to during this tough time? We all deserve nothing but care, especially coming from our own selves <3
Take good care of yourself, if theres anything we can do dont hesitate were here for you, Im all heart with you!
@LinearWaves Thank you for your kind reply. Thank you for listening.
It's hard to wrap my mind around this person is gone now. Yesterday alone I felt so many different emotions and most of them just seemed wrong. It's to be expected I guess though. The memories alone - it didn't seem to take much to get triggered yesterday. But I didn't harm - I wanted to but I didn't. I took pauses and went for walks and kept my hands busy with good things. Baked some cookies - drew pictures and reached out to the therapist and talked with a wonderful understanding friend.
They booted the troll again. Tbh - it has made it so I have gotten quieter here and I don't write or talk with people as much as I used to. I kind of isolate alot. It's - Idk - they mainly made me anxious. There were allways comparisons - where they compare themselves to me and how they're a much better person. They bad mouth Cups alot. Claim everyone is weak and stupid for coming here. They attack people and tell them to do horrible things to themselves. I guess alot of it is that I don't like who I become when I see that stuff because it makes me a not so nice person. Idk - it probably doesn't make much sense. There's a part of me that has very low tolerance for bullies
Thank you again for your kindness - I really appreciate it
I hope you take care too
@mytwistedsoul
I can definitely understand that this situation would make you feel a lot of emotions. And it's very okay to feel however you feel, every emotion you feel is valid. Sometimes it can be good to remember that emotions are 'just' chemicals released by your brain, so it's not like you can control what emotion you feel, it's just how you feel and again, whatever this emotion is, it's valid ❤️ You say that they feel wrong though, is there a reason for that? Also I'm so very proud of you for not giving in, keeping yourself and your hands distracted plus reaching out, that's really amazing and shows lots of strength and recovery!
I'm sorry to hear though that this troll/bully's presence affected how much you talk, its understandable if they're attacking you on what you share of course... But yeah just like you, I have a really low tolerance for bullies, especially on here you know? People come here and reach out, open up, they're so strong for doing that, and it's supposed to be a safe place, we're trying hard to make it a safe and supportive place for everyone, but it's just sad that bullies would ruin that... With all that I just want to day: it's totally normal to have a low tolerance of bullies, we actually should have a 0 tolerance for them anyway.
You're very welcome, anytime! Thank you as well!
@LinearWaves
Hey hey !
1) How are you? I don't know ? I'm many things : tired, frustrated, giving up, happy, calm .. I just keep switching in between the emotions.
2) How has your week been so far? Are there some things you can improve/work on/do for the rest of it? It's been a mixture of 'can't wait for the end of the week' and 'haven't done everything I wanted to before the end of the week'. Honestly I'm just waiting for tomorrow to go by and chill out. I'll see what I do then.
3) If there is anything on your mind, bothering you or just that you'd like to share, feel free to rant or share or talk about it! There's so much I'd rant about but honestly it'd get pretty boring x) Mostly stuff about work. I mean it's time for a break, I just can't stand it anymore. It'll probably be worse when I go back after my vacation. But lets try and be more positive : I can't wait for my nieces to be born :) It's gonna be a happy moment :)
4) What is the lastest cool/interesting/funny thing you've learned/seen? I'm sorry I don't have anything. I'm enjoying the windy weather though.
@Slizzy564
Hey Slizzy ! Im sorry to hear youre dealing with so many different feelings and emotions, plus switching between them, it must be quite challenging and tiring to handle… Im guessing that the mixed feelings about the week coming to an end probably arent helping as well :\ On another note, its really great that youll get a well-deserved break!
Rants are important :p Im sorry for work being such a pain lately, I really hope that even if it is worse after that break, maybe at least your patience will have been refilled, plus hopefully with coworkers being back it might be less unpleasant? Its also really great that youre staying focused on the positives! It is definitely going to be a happy and memorable moment!
It is such a good weather! Theres something that feels really impressive when it starts getting windy like that, its like, powerful? I dont know how to define it, its a weird feeling and maybe its just me seeing it this way!
Thanks for checking-in, take care and hang in there, almost the holidays <3
