Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-in: Saturday, November 30th, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I hope that you have had a really nice week. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
How was this month for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it - or, really, anything you would like to share or vent about? I would be glad to listen. :)
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@redmark
I feel like I can finally exhale after this week. I was rushing trying to get all my school work done so I could take Thursday and Friday off, and I had to clean and practice stuff for dance. I felt very overwhelmed with emotions and unfortunately I relapsed after eight weeks. But I think it's okay, cause now I know how to get to 8 weeks again (and hopefully further). Thursday I ate a lot of biscuits and I was looking forward to cranberries all week it was really nice. After I had dinner with my family we went over to a friends house. My brother my friend and I were hanging out upstairs and when my brother went down to get dessert I had my first kiss... So, uh, thats a thing that happened. Still dont know how I feel about it but, um... Yep. Yesterday I cleaned my room and bathroom really good and I'm very proud of myself. In the afternoon my family set up our Christmas tree and I played video games with my brother, which was a nice distraction. Sunday a different friend is taking me out for a late birthday present which I am very excited about. It's going to be lots of fun. Oh, and I wanted to thank you for managing these forums and responding to every post. All of your kind words mean so much to me and I'm just so thankful of all of the help you give me and others. You don't have to do all of the wonderful things you do, but you do them anyway, and that is really amazing.
Hey there @fairmindedRaspberries1389 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Well, it does definitely sound like a long week.
It sounds tough to really just cram all that studying into that three days. I tend to forget about Thanksgiving since it is not a holiday here in Hungary but I do actually really like the concept of it. I am sorry to hear that you have relapsed tho but I do totally agree with you, you can definitely go for an other eight weeks now without self harm and even more. I believe in you! :)
Biscuits sound really good and....I am not that big fan of cranbarries - unless we are talking about the band :P - but I like them as tea. EIther way tho: yay! I mean, having your first kiss is always such an exciting and confusing and awesome and terrifying thing. At least, well, it was for me. I mean, it does definitely take some time to really process but, still, I am happy to hear about that. :)
Also, good job cleaning your room and the bathroom! I do absolutely love decorating the Christmas three and also just spending time with your family sounds really nice. As well as going out with that friend of yours to celebrate your birthday together - on the same note, Happy belated Birthday to you! :)
Aww...that is really nice of you. I am always happy if I can help others in any way and I do really appreciate the feedback :)
Although it is a team effort so this definitely goes out to the others as well! @admaiorasemper @LinearWaves @rebecca947
Stay awesome!
Hello @redmark ! I hope you're doing well!
I'm feeling a little beter today. I called in sick to work so I could study for my exams. I also got a decent amount of sleep last night which was nice :)
This week has been very tiring, but I'm recharging today. I went to a concert last night featuring some of my classmates. They're part of a group that focuses mostly on contemporary/avant-garde/improv music, and it was super awesome! Their first piece involved turning the lights off and hiding some of the performers in the audience to play in the dark, which was pretty neat!
This month for me has been mostly about motivation and trying to find joy in something that had been completey ruined for me. Losing interest in something that I used to enjoy really dragged me down, especially since my entire degree revolves around this one interest. I can't say I'm 100% invested again, but I do have a greater appreciation for my schoolwork.
Anyways, I need to keep studying haha, Take care!
Hey there @CentreMid *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am really glad to hear that you have had a good night of sleep as well as that you have been able to find - or, well, make - time for your studies and for yourself today :)
Oh...that actually sounds pretty awesome. I like experimental and avant-garde music, it is tough to find it tho. I mean, most of the music labelled as "experimental" that I come by are more like a Brechtian thing than anything. Although at list I have some that I have got to enjoy and I am glad to hear that you have had such an amazing experience at that concert. :)
Oh, it does sound tough, but I think burn-out and losing interest like that can happen if you are pushing yourself too hard and, well, you have deifnitely had a lot of things going on in your life. I am glad to hear that you have been able to get re-invested in it tho and found some fresh, new ways to look at it and motivate yourself to do it. :)
Stay awesome!
I'm feeling a little better each day the last couple of days, after a couple of sucky weeks. Obviously that's good, but what sucks is that I have no clue why. And sooner or later I'm gonna start feeling worse again for no reason. And I'll probably end up blaming my meds or some other random thing, just to be able to point at something that I and others can curse for making me feel bad or something. Idk
Anyway, I'll try and enjoy feeling alright for as long as it'll last 🙂
Hey there @Madaraismyspiritanimal *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am glad to hear that you are feeling better lately :)
I can get that feeling tho of just not knowing how long it will last. I mean, finding those things triggering anxiety and depression and such can be really tough. I do still not understand why some things make me feel better or worse at times either but I think it is a learning curve. I mean, I believe that if you give yourself some time, and maybe with some help, you can understand these things better and have just a bit more control :)
Although, I do not delve too much too much into it and I think trying to just enjoy these nice moments is really important as well and I am glad to hear that you are doing so as well :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Today was ok. This week was good because I was able to see my friends. November was a little stressful but not as stressful December will be.
Hey there @PurpleSnail *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
yay! I am glad to hear that you have got to spend some time with your friends. It can be such an amazing way to recharge. :)
I can imagine tho that this coming month can be really stressful with all the Holidays and everything else going on but I just would like you to know that no matter what we are always here for you! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
The urges have been stronger the past few days. It's been 2 years now. I messed things up with a friend and not sure how to fix it. She's the only friend I have. I don't see my therapist until the 12th. Trying to distract my thoughts by listening to music. Thanks for being here.
Hey there @RedHawk6547 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Ow, that sounds tough. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with those urges. I do not know your friend but I think we do all make mistakes sometimes and even say things that we do not mean. At least I know I can sometimes and I just do hope that you will be able to just talk through it and work through on whatever might have happened :)
Stay strong and awesome!
Ciao @redmark :)
Today I am not feeling at my best, I had a sort of party last night, so... hmm... I think you get the picture :)
This week was ok. Challenging, but ok. I am trying to keep saying out loud things that bother me or that I find unfair. I also tried to get off the meds. And I have seen that it is not a good idea. So, back to the track.
I am a bit sad because I will probably have to change psychiatrist. But I already feel grateful that he has been able to assist me in the past for months.
As for the past month, that was also challenging. Especially therapy-wise.
How are you?
*hugs*
Hey there @admaiorasemper *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
Oww...yep, I get it. Make sure that you drink enough water and just allow yourself to recharge a bit :)
That actually sounds like a really good thing to practice albeit, challanging for sure. Verbalizing my feelings and thoughts are really hard for me as well but I have found that it is a really good exercise for sure :)
Changing psychiatrist does sound tough but I am glad to hear that you are able to look at it like that, appreciate the work that you have already done with your therapist and just look forwad. Also, I am sorry to hear that your experiment with your meds have not worked out but I can understand that it can be tempting to try sometimes :)
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a tough month, although, tough month in therapy can sometimes be really helpful in the long run but it does not change the fact that going through it is still really hard.
I am....well....mostly okay, I think. I am at a point right now where I have actually achieved a lot of my goals lately so now I have to think on new ones and all. It's a good thing but can be tough to figure out as I have realized - if that makes sense.
Stay awesome!
* ️TRIGGER WARNING ️*
Iv never self harmed until 2days ago, I know I shouldn't be doing it but it taking the pain from inside and letting me wear it on my skin instead. It doesn't hurt as much but I cant stop and I'm now my arms and chest are covered in cuts, I'm scared cuz I'm likeing seeing them on me. I know this is not the way forward I'm just fed up of trying to be okay when I'm really not, dont really mind for a response just wanted somewhere safe to say this
*edited by forum mentor @rebecca947 to add trigger warning. Feel free to PM for more information!*
Hey there @Smithanthony *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. I think it is pretty tough that we have this pressure on us that we need to act okay and being sad or having any sort of mental issues are really looked down upon even though they are a pretty common occurrence. I think there is a much more open discussion regarding this lately tho, so it gives me hope.
With that said, please make sure to take good care of yourself. Reach out for help to someone if you feel like things are getting out of control. It can be a family member, a friend, a teacher/co-worker or even there are many anonymous hotlines all around the world that can provide you with many resources.
Just remember that it is okay to not be okay and to reach out for help and you do deserve that help and support. You do not have to go through this alone. You can get better, things can get better. I believe in that and I do believe in you!
You are important and valid and we are really glad to have you here with us no matter what. :)
Stay strong and awesome!