Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-in: Thursday June 18, 2020
Hello, everyone! Today's focus topic is on positive self-talk. We all know what self-talk is: it's the internal voice we have inside our minds, telling us what we should do, what we need to do and the thing it does best- criticise us.
First, let's differentiate between negative and positive self-talk. Negative self-talk examples are "I'm so bad" "It's always my fault" and "I'm a failure". Instead, using positive self-talk, we can change those statements to "I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances I'm in" (a saying I use very often!) and "I can make it through this".
Why is positive self-talk so important? It can help boost our self-confidence and it can help us change our thoughts from negative to more balanced or positive thoughts. In turn, it can help us tackle challenges more easily, be more resilient and be more kind to us and others around us.
So, how can we practice more positive thinking? Firstly, notice the thoughts. Be in tune with what your mind is thinking and saying. Then, one potential way is to challenge your own thinking. Is there evidence that proves my thinking is fact? How would I talk to my friend feeling the same way? Then, we can actively change and be mindful of what we say. Turn the negative self-talk thought into a more positive self-talk thought, or at least a more balanced one. "Maybe I'm not as bad as I think", as an example of a balanced thought.
This takes a lot of awareness, mindfulness and practice, but in time, it will get easier. In saying all of this, here are today's questions!
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
Take care of yourselves, as usual, everyone! xx
Taglist:
@12kirby12 @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @aar10 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @aestheticmaddie @akagmai97 @Akor1 @AlexanderSpamilton @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AnastasiaSmith @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Annabanana1014 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @Aryspencer15 @Asher2343 @asheroo92 @AstronomySkies @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @avagraco @aviori @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @becca111111 @beniba08 @Bethfarmer @BiMonk @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @BrokenDreamsPalace @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @Bugggy @bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @CarverT007 @CarverTea @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @Chester77 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @conscientiousOwl7693 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Creativepig @Dababy9322 @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @DaysiaKelly @delicateWindow53 @demonicangel @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @earthangel222 @earthkid @easyMap6620 @Ecargrace @Ediexo @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @ellie455 @emily0303 @emmadancer @energeticApricot2459 @Eny0 @epitium @Erato @Evanora @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FigureskatingEquestrian @FindingPeaceWithin1 @Flornhope @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @FrenchMarbles @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnyAcres8364 @funnybanana4728 @gayisok101 @generousKiwi8190 @gentleParadise1427 @Gin @glowingKiwi @Godsbae @goldenJoy721 @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @grej @HannahO11 @happydays447 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @Hydrangea03 @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @imthewalrus @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @IntellectualCake @intellectualCake2509 @intellectualHuman6814 @IntelligentWheel627 @Ismokereed @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @ivoryPenguin3999 @Iwannaliveanddream @iwishuwell @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @Kassy7cups @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @kindDay278 @Kiwi16 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @LauraB1996 @Leanna @leaveearly2716 @LetMeHeatItOut2 @Lexloveslife @Lilbabygirl @limegreen002 @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @Logybear @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LovelyAnathema @Lovelydovee @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @mads00742 @magicalBraveheart537 @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Mint123 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @MJLV98 @modestCat9806 @modestVase1408 @Moosewithducks @msishihab @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @navyBlueberry2704 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @notmyselftoday @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @optimisticNectarine3923 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @PessimisticHuman @PGP30 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @positiveTurtles @pumpkinpi @PunkyKitty @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietHemlock7880 @quietman4875 @quietTalker1488 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @RiverHudson1 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @SadAFSeth @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Sana6399 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @sgraceroe @ShadowTag @shymelody @Shyone7834 @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @starkmechanic3000 @stellaadaviss @stellaluna04 @Stitch8989 @straightuplance @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @suling1986 @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @TheAtticusFinch @thebermuda @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @TheWeeb @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @Waveywoop @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WitchySalem @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yolo @youandmesohappily @Yovela @Zammn @zebrasarcastic
@rebecca947
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
I'm all good! Got to sleep in today, so I feel weird but I had coffee and now I'm feeling great. The power of coffee! I'm excited for today. I feel like it's going to be a calm day, and I could use one of those.
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
Neither! My lovely listener suggested bridge statements to me. I noticed some of your positive thoughts were bridge statements! "I did the best I could in the circumstances I was in." Maybe if I'm feeling useless. My mind might say "you're absolutely useless, you never do anything right." And while a positive thought might be "I'm not useless, I do lots of things right." that could be difficult to believe when you're in that negative mindset. A bridge statement might be "maybe it could be possible that I'm not completely useless. There's no way I never do anything right."
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
Recognize the thoughts and be aware of them. Stop pushing, deflecting, distracting, avoiding. It doesn't help.
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
You'll find 7cups eventually. Just hold on 😉
Thanks for this, Rebecca! You're the best!
@RiverHudson1
This is soooo good. I like the bridge statement idea!!!
also, yes 7 cups is the best! These check ins are my favourite!!!
Yay coffee!
@FigureskatingEquestrian
yes!! Haha, I love your enthusiasm! Finally, someone who can match mine 😈
bridge statements are pretty cool, I won't lie 🥺
And yes, Cups and Coffee! My two favourite things in the world!!!!!
@RiverHudson1
except 7 cups of coffee is too much!!!! Lol. But yes. Im
so glad I met you on here!
@FigureskatingEquestrian
*scoffs* too much coffee?
I don't think I understand that
and yes, me too ❤️
@RiverHudson1
well.....for my heart.....yes. Now chocolate....there is never too much there!
important question? Fave coffee drink? How do you take your coffee??
@FigureskatingEquestrian
ah ah ah! Never too much coffee! But yes, chocolate also has no limits 😌
hmm I'm not that fancy. I just drink coffee with milk in it, I guess! Not very exciting, but I like the routine. How about you? You strike me as a frappucino macchiato starbucks person 😦
@RiverHudson1
nooooo....occasionally. But normally I drink it black.
@FigureskatingEquestrian
Black coffee 😮 ladies and gents I think we have ourselves a risk taker 👀
@FigureskatingEquestrian yay someone who also likes black coffee! I love black coffee
@Benny0
Benny, you seem like you go around telling people you drink black coffee but really add tons of cream and sugar. Is this true 👀
@RiverHudson1
I love this ❤️ And shhhhhhh 🤫 I'm posting a post about bridge statements extremely soon xD you beat me to it -_- and I had it all written down weeks ago! Lol procrastination at its finest. Hope your day was good in the end 💕
@rebecca947 smhhh Rebecca great minds think alike 😌😉 and yes, having an up and down week, can't really complain! Hope you're having a good one ❤️❤️
@rebecca947
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
Feeling better than the beginning of the week. Kinda got an on-going problem; everyone in my therapy group agrees that doing session via zoom isn't a sufficient replacement for meeting in person. But we can't do in person sessions yet 😕
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
More negative, but I'm improving. A year ago, it was all negative, but now I'm able to treat myself more positively sometimes.
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
Keep pointing out small positives to weigh against the negative
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
Keep going at your own pace, it's fast enough
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Hey! I love your last answer- don't compare yourself to others. I think we can all agree that zoom sessions aren't the best as you don't feel as connected with the therapist or potentially as safe, but it's the next best option! In my personal opinion, it's much better than not seeing your therapist for months on end. I'm so glad you're starting to open your mind up to more positive thoughts ❤️ Keep going at it!
@rebecca947
Hey Rebecca! I really like how you worded all this! I've often seen positive self-talk described as looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself things like "you are beautiful, you are strong, you are confident" which I could neverrrr even in a millions years get myself to do lol so it's good that this is presented in a way more realitistic way!
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
I'm okay! I'm doing a third (and hopefully last) attempt on an optimisation of a new method at work, I'm crossing my fingers hard for this one. I might have had too much coffee though, the past few days/weeks as well, so I'll definitely need to find a better balance between sleep and coffeine!
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
I used to have a pretty negative self-talk but I think it got much more neutral, I don't really like to call it positive though as to me it sounds much more realistic/objective/factual than actually positive, if that makes sense?
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
Challenging my thoughts has really helped me, for example if I fail at something, well I used to think that made me a failure, that I'll never get it right, that I'm stupid, useless and so on, but the only thing it proves is that I failed this time, it doesn't make ME a failure or doesn't say anything about me or about the future. This reframing work took efforts at first and now it got much easier to do!
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
Put your energy into growth and self-care, instead of blame!
Take care!
@LinearWaves
yes my dear scientist. One thank you for your service in medical research. You're a hero!
Secondly, I love how you can scientifically test your thoughts. Your brain proposes a theory. But you can't blindly accept that theory. Instead, you must experiment and test it. You are worthless because you made a mistake. That theory will never hold up to objective scientific scrutiny. (You have helped save my life and encouraged so many others! That alone should disprove any doubts to the contrary. Therefore, you are incredible.).
anywho, I'm so thankful for your scientific and psychological work!
@FigureskatingEquestrian
I certainly wish I was haha! People working in hospitals and saving lives are the real heroes though!
Yes it's exactly the scientific way! The way I see it, you need actual proof to confirm something and words/thoughts that you're useless/worthless/a failure/stupid/never going to do anything right... are definitely not concrete enough to validate any theory! And actions like failing at something is not enough either! Plus if you want to push further into sciences, you usually need more than one proof to confirm a theory lol
Thank you for your lovely words, really ❤️
@LinearWaves
Hey! Thank you ❤️ I agree with how positive thinking has been worded- it doesn't show the full picture of positive thinking. I'm glad you liked the checkin!
What is optimisation? That's too scientific for me 🤣
I definitely understand- how I see positive thinking is that it is more realistic. It's not all doom and gloom and dark skies, it's more grey/slightly blue skies. It's not fully clear and sunny skies though, because that goes to the extreme of positive thinking and not-fully-realistic. I hope that analogy made sense.
Seeing as you got your thoughts into place, now your next aim is to get your sleep and coffee intake into place!
I love your words of encouragement to your younger self ❤️ Keep that in mind for yourself right now, too! Take care xx
@rebecca947
Hahah I always seem to forget that Im too nerdy about what I do and the vocabulary isnt known by everyone ! Optimisation is basically like baking something super fancy that needs to be 100% perfect to work: you need to test different parameters and ingredients to get the recipe right. So yeah, its a long process!
Thats a great analogy, thanks for sharing it and for sharing your view on this! Plus the good thing about this analogy is that grey/slightly blue skies is the best weather possible to do pretty much everything :p
Thank you for your support! Im definitely using this thinking now, it hasnt been long but so far its been really efficient! Take care <3
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
I am doing good. I feel calm and relaxed. I am so proud of myself, and everyone who is struggling too. Thank you for holding me accountable to check in almost every day.
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
I have days where I have bad negative self talk, but most days it is positive. I am working on changing those negative days to positive ones.
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
I can not be so hard on myself and just realize that I am doing enough for the circumstance.
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
You are worthy and enough, don't let anyone or yourself tell you otherwise. And it is ok to say no to ideas that are not yours.
@Ecargrace
ahh yes. You are an inspiration and a light. Thanks for this!!
@Ecargrace
Hey, Grace! I am so proud of you as well, and I'm glad the nearly daily checkins are helpful for you! That is the whole aim of checkins- another way to help members of the community feel heard. ❤️
It's amazing that you can say for sure that your thoughts are more on the positive than the negative side, now. It takes time to fully shift our thoughts to the positive, and it won't always be easy, but I believe in you. The community believes in you. You can do it! xx
@rebecca947
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
I'm doing alot better today, taking it one day at a time.
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
Both, its mostly negative but I'm trying to improve that. I've come a long way and I am proud of myself.
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
Focus on the good parts about yourself instead of harping on the bad qualities. Look for something good in you even in your "bad" qualities.
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
oh man I really needed to hear I'm proud of you, and I swear it gets easier. You're not wothless you're so amazing you just don't know it yet.
@Fuckitidc
ahhhh yes! I'm proud of you too! And I'm so glad you are able to feel that pride in your hard healing work. You rock!
@FigureskatingEquestrian Thank you so much 
@itidc
ODAT ❤️ I'm so proud of you too, for coming this far and not stopping yet! Looking back to see where we've come can be a great feeling of accomplishment, knowing how far we've come since the beginning. I think you can feel that in yourself.
As I always say "There's a silver lining in every cloud" that comes your way. The cloud being the negative situation/thought/issue. I think that's similar to what you're going for in seeing the good in your "bad" flaws. And that honestly has helped me through so many times. Being at peace with knowing there will always be something good to take out of something bad.
I hope you feel what your younger self needed to feel now ❤️ Because everything you said to your younger self completely applies to your current and future self. :) take care xx
@rebecca947
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
im freaking fantastic! Work was long, and I'm excited. But I stood up to my abuser today and refused to let him hurt me I refused to go spend the weekend with him. I've never done this!!!! And I feel so powerful and alive!!
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
Trying to improve the positive. But I hear the comments of how worthless, unlovable; and unwanted I am. But working to change that
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
make a positive thoughts mantra. Surround yourself with people who encourage (hello 7 cups!)
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
Don't give up. You are not worthless or unlovable . There are people who care. You will be loved
@FigureskatingEquestrian
Hey, Equestrian! WOOHOOOOOO!!! That is so so so amazing!! I'm so incredibly proud of and happy for you! Gooooooo, Equestrian!!! ❤️
Acknowledging that we don't have the most positive thinking is the first step to changing it, and you're already on that road! it'll be hard sometimes, but I know you can push through that. Keep going- you can do this. We all encourage and support you!
A positive thoughts mantra- I love the idea of that! I hope you'll be able to create one that resonates with you soon. ❤️ Take care and IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! xx
Psst- it's amazing that you responded to everyone and made them feel heard and valued! Just wanted to say I see you and thank you ❤️
@rebecca947
Heeey Rebecca! Thank you for this check-in today! (sorry its late)
1) How are you today? Is there anything you would like to say?
I'm not doing great today but so far I'm better than last which was a bit worse. I feel like the day most definitely will get worse because that's what happens.
2) Do you think you have more of a positive or negative self-talk?
I think I definitely have a more negative self-talk.
3) What is one thing you can do today to try to change the negative into positive?
One thing I can try to do today to change the negative into positive is I could talk to one of my friends and have fun with him @riverhudson1
4) What words of encouragement would you give to your younger self today?
Some words of encouragement I would give to my younger self today are: you are worthy, and it will get better just hold on
@Benny0 you're doing great ❤️🥺🥺
@Benny0
Benneh! *hugs* I hope the day proved you wrong. What Ive come to notice/realise in myself is if I put it out to the world that the day is going to be bad, more often than not, it happens. And thats because my focus is on expecting that, so Ill notice all the tiny negative things that happen throughout the day and zoom in on those. As a result, Ill forget and be blind to all the small and big positive things. Just some food for thought if you want to take it ❤️
Its great that you acknowledge what your thoughts are. Thats the first step to changing them if you wanted that. Yay for River! Thats a great idea :D River is sassy and funny and humorous, yet also very kind. Hope River managed to cheer you up!
Yes- just hold on. Youll see if you wait that things will get better with time.
Take care mate ❤️
