Self-Harm Recovery Daily Checkin: Thursday March 5th, 2020
Hello, everyone! I hope youre all doing well today. Id love to centre this topic around the word self-care, and all the ways we can do it. As we get more into the year, we all start getting more busy again and as the festivities dwindle, we might feel hit with reality all over again.
Self-care might sound overused and cliche to some people, and thats understandable too. But what exactly is self-care to you? To me, self-care is knowing your limits, and ensuring your limits arent overstretched. For me, self-care is bringing our body and state of mind back to our equilibrium, our happy middle place/medium. Whether it be eating good food, or saying no to some things, or saying yes for a change of pace/scenery, or sleeping more.
1) What does self-care mean to you?
2) How could we do some self-care today? It doesnt have to be costly- it can cost us no money at all- and it doesnt have to be fancy.
3) What are some examples of your limits? How can you tell when you need self-care?
4) How are you today? Is there anything else youd like to share?
Now, please excuse me while I go do an online yoga video and drink tea! I hope youre well on your way to self-love and acknowledging your own inherent worth and value.
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Hello @rebecca947 ! Happy (?) Thursday!
Self care to me mens taking small steps for difficult things, like doing laundry or homework. The difficult things don't have to be completed, but getting as much of the tasks done as possible will definitely help.
Something I could do for self care today includes getting a few of my assignments done. Some of them are a tad overdue however my prof knows I'm going through a rough time and is very understanding.
My limits? It's when I feel myself getting overwhelmed by the amount of things I have to do and the guilt that comes from my inability ot say no to things. I overbook myself way too often and sometimes I just need to take some time for me.
This is going to be a lot because it's been on my mind for about a week now. I recently told someone I liked her, and while she doesn't feel the same way, I'm not too upset. However, she sent me a message saying that she thought I was going to talk about her friend, "since most things are about her." I'm not quite sure what that means. I understand that I used to have feelings for this friend last year, however I've come to know the type of person she is and I'm worried that my current crush is in a toxic friendship. I was going to ask her about it later today, but I'm not sure how I should go about it, like should I text her or talk to her in person? Should I even ask her at all? Part of me feels like I'm overreacting, but the way this other person treats our classmates is very worrying. Of course, if I do ask about it, I'll have to reassure my crush that i'm putting my romatic feelings aside and that I am more than willig to be here for support should she need it. It's been about a week since we last talked, but I don't want to wait too long in case she really does need help.
Oof. Anyways, I have to go write a midterm soon, but I hope you enjoy your tea and yoga! Take care!
@CentreMid
Hello, Centre! Yes, happy because I've got two days off work starting from Thursday! (It's now Friday for me). Small steps definitely help- small steps are the ones that get us to our goal, in the end.I love how you say things don't have to be completed- it really helps to reduce the pressure we put on ourselves. I also have this saying for when things have a deadline and I'm supposed to meet them- "It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done." Similar sayings for different situations.
I'm very happy for you that your professor is as kind and understanding as they are. Hope writing the assignments go well. Knowing our limits is the first step towards helping ourselves reduce the overwhelm and knowing when to step back and take a break. Good on you.
Hmm, that does sound a bit confusing (especially for me given I won't ever know the full context!). Good on you for expressing your feelings. It's such a big and brave step to do. If you feel worried and you think talking could help, by all means, go for it in whatever way you think feels right for both of you in that moment. Some people do appreciate a check-up, and even if the situation ends up being nothing, was there any real harm? And if something was going wrong, it can be helpful knowing someone is there to support us. It sounds like you really are worried for her, and I do understand your hesitation. In the end, it's totally up to you to make that decision. I know the pros and cons lists can help some people, maybe it could help you in making a final decision?
Best of luck for your midterm, assignments and making a decision in regards to your friend/crush! Thanks for that, tea was great and yoga was good too! <3 Remember at the end of the day, you're the most important and take care of yourself. xx
@rebecca947 Hey - How are you?
Self care for me - is to just take a moment or two to do something fun. Something that maybe doesn't involve being an adult. There's so much focus here on staying on top of things and feeling the need to have things done to show I did something constructive with my time.
Self care plans today - I want to get out and enjoy the sunshine. It's supposed to be a really nice day out - with lots of sun and warmer temperatures. Which is nice because they're calling for winter again tomorrow - lol
My limits - are when I'm feeling drained. I know I have a tendency to push myself - physically - emotionally and mentally. I'm slowly learning to take a step back and focus on what my needs are instead of what everyone elses needs are. But then I feel like I'm letting everyone down - so I need to work on that too.
I've been pretty chaotic lately and isolating more then I should. Trying to keep the chaos contained to myself.
Enjoy your yoga and tea!
@mytwistedsoul
Heya, Soul! I love the way you worded it and what self-care means to you. What are some examples of not being an adult and having responsibilities to think about? And how was going outdoors? I should definitely do that more often myself. It's good that you can acknowledge your strengths and things you need to work on. It can be beneficial to ask "What am I doing this for and for who? Is it worth my limited time?"
Sometimes, it can be good to let out the chaos onto someone, just so they can listen. I hope you're not bottling up your feelings. <3 Take good care of yourself, and it sounds like lots of self-care is on the agenda! I'm giving you a task! 😄 Thanks, yoga and tea was good!
1) What does self-care mean to you?
It means taking care of myself mentally, physically, school-wise
2) How could we do some self-care today? It doesnt have to be costly- it can cost us no money at all- and it doesnt have to be fancy.
I'm not gonna exercise as much today, may try eating more today, and do my homework. Right now I feel myself getting riled up for reasons I can't pinpoint yet, so I'm trying to find something I can watch and stick to before doing my homework.
3) What are some examples of your limits? How can you tell when you need self-care?
I can tell I need self care when I feel overwhelmed, emotions get "stuck", if I start planning ways to relieve stress negatively, any day that I don't get enough sleep (so every day), and when stress interferes with my daily responsibilities
4) How are you today? Is there anything else youd like to share?
I feel frustrated with myself. I'd love to just not be me, if that makes sense. Desperate to release the inner me that is clearly dwelling underneath. It feels like that care-free version of me might be an imposter just as much as I currently feel like an imposter. I know these negative feelings are purely the result of a poor night's sleep, today's caffeine wearing off, hormonal shifts, and mental health issues. Feelings are not always facts, especially the self-loathing feelings. The ones that make me want to act impulsively are especially unhelpful. The other version of me is my inner child, not an imposter. It's my inner child who feels neglected and angry because she's not getting what she wants from the adult me. So I'm going to treat myself to a kid movie while I do my homework. Maybe that'll calm both sides of me at once.
@Lexloveslife
Heya, Lex! Self-care can definitely mean knowing our limits and reducing the things or amount of things we do. How were your emotions, did you find a good show to watch? Hope it all went well. Sleep definitely can be a big factor in making us feel different emotions. How do you think you could plan in more consistent sleep schedules?
It's awesome that you know feelings are not facts. Also, remember that feelings are never permanent, they come and go like waves. I hope the movie really did help. Our inner child can come out kicking and screaming, and I cannot emphasise enough how proud and happy I am for you to notice and be kind to yourself. So many of us ignore our inner child, making them scream more for attention. <3
@rebecca947
Hey there! Thank you for the well-thought-out response and the encouragement to move forward & self reflect! My emotions as I was watching this show definitely calmed down a bit though I found myself not quite paying attention to it. It was geared towards adults but it was animation so I think my inner child didn't mind. I did some meditation and self reflection afterwards too which helped me get to the bottom of my restlessness. I went on a search for self help guides after getting some homework done, too which was eye-opening in terms of learning new ways to challenge negative thoughts.
As for sleep, I meditated before going to bed and I think it helped a lot with calming myself down. I definitely need a routine, I feel my life is becoming more unstructured. Maybe I can set time aside to meditate each night with my phone on a blue light filter so I'm not accidentally disrupting anything. Going to sleep at the same time is hard even if I'm in bed at the same time... but I can get in bed earlier, write my thoughts and next day's to-do list instead of bringing them into bed with me, and continue tapering off caffeine again
Hi all,
Bad day today. I relapsed. It seems to be happening more and more lately but I just don't feel like I have any in-person support. Not that I self-harm for attention, but gosh it would be so nice just to have somebody care enough to notice the marks. Anyways sorry to be such a downer lol.
I hope everyone else is having a better day!! I believe in you all and stay strong