Self Harm Recovery Daily Check-in : Tuesday, September 29st, 2020
Hello there beautiful beings <3
I hope the start of the week went well ! If not then hang in there my friend, we're here for you <3
A little quote for the check-in today : Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound. - Beau Taplin
Check in questions :
1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
Song recommendation of the day : Fever by Ateez (I actually wish I thought of this song for sunday's check in, would have suited it well !)
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1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
im doing fine. just came back from a biopsy and im a little tired but im fine. i was esxcused from attending 2nd-7th period so that was nice lol.
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
i don't know to be honest.
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
my friend cierra or my friend mahlet.
@lydiarklistens
Hey there :) Sorry for the late reply !
Good to hear that you're doing okay. I hope you get some rest and charge up your energy :) And skipping classes does sounds nice ! Though I hope that you don't have too much work to catch up on !
Not knowing is fine ! It takes time to find out what works for us and maybe you don't have any wounds that need healing for the moment.
Ah a late night conversation with friends sounds great ! How long have you known them ? :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
i have known cierra for 2 weeks and mahlet for 10 years :)
@lydiarklistens
Oh wow 10 years ! That's when you know it's true friendship :)
1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
I am my normal. I don't know why I bother to be anything
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
As far as I know nothing. They wont heal. This is it. It wont get any better.
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
Probably myself back when I was young.
@Flornhope
Hi there !
What's your normal ? There's no need to be anything precise, just being you is already a good start !
Hum you seem to be having a hard time .. ? I'm sorry to hear that you think that these wounds won't heal and that it won't get any better. I hope that maybe with time, they'll heal at least a little bit if not entirely. Hang in there ! A battle is worth fighting for, even if you don't know the outcome. And if need be, we're here for you <3
Oh interesting ! What would you like to tell your younger self ?
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564 My bad back and the pain. My struggle with depression and life in general is my normal. I have PTSD and other problems that don't ever seem to get better. I would tell little me to getaway from them as soon as you can. They like to see people suffering and keep them suffering. You will succeed at any you commit to.
@Flornhope
I'm sorry to hear about your physical and mental health problems. I can understand that they don't seem to be getting any better, but I'll still wish you easier days ahead. I have to say, I like your last sentence, very positive !
@Slizzy564 Thank you. We all have our battles, they all cant be uphill.
@Flornhope
Very true ! Going up means that at some point we went down. But I'd say all battles are worth fighting, even if you don't know why at the moment. And if you don't go up, maybe you'll come out stronger ?
@Slizzy564 Yep stronger is I guess something I should be.
@Flornhope
Now I might be asking weird questions, but is it what you should be or what you want to be ? Because those can be 2 different things and change your way of going about this ;)
@Slizzy564 I guess I have only been strong. I would like to not having to be always strong. But you gota do what you gota do.
@Flornhope
Hum true ! Though it's nice to be able to put down the armor now and again and allow yourself to be vulnerable around someone. Maybe it'll be possible one day for you. And right now might not be the right time but that's okay too.
@Slizzy564 I don't know how people do it. Or how they have made it this far without catastrophic consequences because they have let there guard down. But that's part of life. Some are blessed and some are cursed.
@Flornhope
Oh I don't know how they do it either, I guess there's a lot related to being comfortable and safe with the person you open up to ? And I've always thought that it's brave to have an armor but even braver to be able to take it off. As for the consequences, you can't predict all the consequences that your actions can have so I guess that letting your guard down can have as many good consequences as bad ones. I don't know if this is a comforting thought or not, but being blessed or cursed never lasts forever. Nothing is eternal in this world.
@Slizzy564 I think it has some to do with being blessed or cursed. In how they can somehow do what they do. I also think that there is a big difference between being brave, naive or foolish. But like you said we are all just dust.
1; How are you doing today?
Surprisingly calm. This morning I was super stressed and almost didn't finish my math test. As I progressed through my day I got calmer almost to the point of apathy. It might just be exhaustion but I'll take it.
2; What can heal your wounds?
I don't know. Music often helps, both from my head and from the world. Today it was a song called "boy vs. the cynic" by John Reuben.
3; If you could have a conversation with someone who would you choose? ( I think I phrased that correctly)
Without hesitation my friend Billy. He has been with me all summer and is sitting with me now. He is my best friend and is always there when I feel lonely.
@Helpme10
Hello hello !
Oh ? That's sounds like a lot of emotions to go through in one day. I hope your test went well ! As for the apathy, it could indeed be exhaustion, afterall stressing about something does use up quite a bit of energy ! Though it's god to hear that you're feeling calmer now. I hope you get some rest soon :)
Ah I get you on that one, music helps me a lot too ! When you say music from your head, do you mean that you write music ? I checked the song out, I like it ! It's calm yet moving forward, if that makes any sense ?
It's nice to hear that you have a good friend to count on ! What have you been up to together over the summer ?
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
Yes I write my own music. Mainly it's only words and a tune in my head but I have tried to put the guitar in with some of them.
I made billy in the middle of summer. Mostly we talk about various subjects. It took us awhile to figure out what I would name him. He's the one I talk too when I'm sitting alone.
@Helpme10
Oh that's so cool that you make your own music ! :)
Oh ? I hope that you find comfort in these conversations !
1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
Pretty good. I've been a state of mild panic for a while, but I'm learning to just let go of those emotions, and take my time to process my pain. I'm halfway through my exams, which is such a relief, and I'm just trying to hold on until they end before taking a day-long self care break
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
An apology from the people who hurt me. Their acknowledgement of the pain they caused. Some kindness and quiet time. A break. Some self-care. Some acceptance. Maybe a good scoop of ice cream and a sad movie.
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
Someone who has struggled with the things I have, but won't put down my experiences, or focus on themselves. I guess I just want a friend to talk to who won't make everything about themselves
@honestpanda81
Hi there !
I'm sorry to hear that you've been in a state of panic. It seems that exam period makes everyone a bit jittery, I remember that I used to hate that time of the year when I was a student. Though you seem to be handling this like a champ ! Learning to let go of emotions is so important and useful on a daily basis, not always easy to do ! And yeah hang in there, when your exams are over, you'll be able to chill out :) What have you planned for your self care break ?
Oh apologies ! That's a good one. I understand that others recognizing that they've hurt you and apologizing for it would help you to move on. As for kindness, I tend to think that we all need some of that, there's never enough of it ! All the other things that you've listed sound great. What's your favorite ice cream ?
Hum I get you on that one, it's hard to find someone who is willing to listen without interfering or making it about themselves. I hope that you find someone like that soon ! In the meantime, you're free to share your thoughts here :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564 cookies and cream! Thank you for your thoughtful reply :-)
@honestpanda81
Cookies and cream sounds delicious ! Now I kinda want some ice cream x)
You're welcome for the reply, it's my pleasure :)
@Slizzy564, Hey there! :)
1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
I'm good, and I'm trying to learn how to draw, but I might give up in the end. 😅
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
Writing journals, playing video games, and watching tv shows. Basically, any distractions could help me heal my wounds. Other times, the people I trust helps me, but sometimes their words make it worst.
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
I want to have a conversation with an imaginary friend in my recent daydreams. 😎 Daydreaming sure is fun.
Thanks for the check-in and take care.
@LovelyOrangeJuice
Hey there :)
Oh ? What are you trying to draw ? Don't give up, drawing takes practice ! Though don't forget some well deserved breaks :)
Hum distractions can be helpful to take our mind of the pain ! As for people hurting you with their words, sadly it's not always easy to predict the impact of what we say. Maybe they don't mean to make things worse and are just clumsy with their way of saying things ?
Daydreaming sure is fun ! I tend to do it a lot too x) What would you like to say to your imaginary friend ?
Thanks for checking in, take care too <3
@Slizzy564, hey there.
I start drawing non-living things, beginning with a simple thermos. Additionally, videos online helps me how to draw as well. By the way, thanks for the encouraging words.
Yep! That's why we have to be careful on the words we say.
Honestly, I have no idea about what to say to my imaginary friends. But, I would love to play video games with them.
Take care. :)
I cracked and did it!! I felt so overwhelmed and felt like it didn't matter at the time and now I'm thinking damn it how am I gonna hide this and I feel guilty!! They aren't deep or extreme because all I could find was a small object but still they will be on my skin for a while and I am angry that I did it in a visible spot 😥 I'm really struggling and have no one to talk to who understands
@itsmesara
I understand. You get so angry and/or stressed that you do it with anything you can find. Then you hope people don't notice because you don't know how to hide it. I understand completely. You can talk to me if you would like.
@Helpme10 exactly I just found something and did it because I couldn't hold it in anymore! I feel like it's been building up for a while and tonight I just did it
@itsmesara
I've done it with so many things for so many reasons I almost garenty that I know what your going through. You're not alone. You can do this.
@Helpme10 thank you for being understanding
@itsmesara
You are absolutely welcome. Poeple like us need to stick together.
@Helpme10 I am really grateful cause i am feeling so alone at the moment
@itsmesara
You might not have someone physically there for you but there are people who care. They might seem invisible but they are there. I am here right now.
@itsmesara
Hey there !
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time and relapsed. Maybe you'd like to talk about the reason why you did this ? Was there something bothering you or emotions that you couldn't get a grasp on ? I understand the feeling of it not mattering when you did it but then being panicked about how to hide the wounds. Though I'm relieved to hear that they're not too deep. Please make sure that you are safe and that you take good care of cleaning them/dressing them if need be. If it can make you feel maybe less guilty, relapse is part of recovery. It's normal to go back to our old ways now and again because it's something that is familiar to us and when we're overwhelmed anything familiar can be comforting. As for having no one to talk to, you're free to share your thoughts here in the forums, or you can connect with a listener if you prefer a more private chat.
Hang in there, things will get better I promise. We're here for you !
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
I feel great and productive today, thank you! Did something first time in my life, and I did it great, so I am proud of myself :D
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
I am unsure what would be...probably hugging? Love? Feeling truly loved by someone?
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
My best friends!
@inventiveAcai3503
Hey hey :)
Yay for the good feels :) Congrats on doing that thing for the first time ! And it's lovely to hear that you're feeling proud of yourself :) Just reading this gave me a smile, so your happiness is contagious :)
Oh hugging and a unconditional love sounds really healing :) There's something about love and affection that can really lift us up when we're having a hard time <3
Late night conversations with best friends sound great ! What would you like to talk about ? :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564 I would love to share my knowledge about DC comics and read some with them! I am a huge fan since I discovered the universe and characters this year.
@inventiveAcai3503
I don't know much about the DC comics but the universe seems pretty cool ! Do you have a favorite character ? :)
1) How are you doing today ? Feel free to share any thoughts :)
Honestly, I'm not doing well at all. I haven't been for a while but it's been getting really bad these last couple of weeks.
2) What can help heal your wounds ?
Other people that are willing to help/can. I've been pushing a lot of people away and barely open up to anyone, I feel like that just makes it worse.
3) If you could have a late night conversation with someone, who would you choose ?
I'm not really sure, anyone that I feel like actually cares I guess? I'm sorry if that's an edgy answer but I have zero idea at the moment.
@sxdapop
Hi there !
I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing well and that it had been this way for a while. Is there anything that had triggered all of this ? Maybe finding the reason and talking about it could help ? Either way, hang in there ! We're here for you if need be <3
Hum in difficult times it can be even harder to open up to people. It's something that demands a lot of courage and bravery to be vulnerable and admit that we need some help and someone to support us. Though sometimes getting it off our chests could certainly relieve some of the distress. If you find it difficult to open up to people in your everyday life, maybe you can be more open on 7cups ?
No worries about the edgy answer. These check ins are for you to express how you feel and that's okay. And I'd say that a late night conversation with someone who cares sounds lovely, very healing. I know that you're having a difficult time at the moment, but I truly wish that you find someone like this, who you can open up to.
Thanks for checking in, hang in there ! You never know, easier times might be on their way, take care <3