Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, August 17th, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I am really happy to hear from you once again. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Have you got to practice self-care lately? Which one is your favourite self-care activitiy?
As usually, my check-in thread is open for you for the whole week although I will be going bakc to work this coming Monday, so my replies might be slow but, regardless, I am always glad to hear from you. :)
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@redmark Hey How are you?
Today has actually been a pretty good day. I went to art therapy. Had a good time with that. Got some stuff done outside this afternoon. It's nice to see what has gotten done. The smell of fresh cut grass. Idk - just a good day. I don't get a whole lote of good days lately. A friend tells me to take a mental picture on days like this - to help remind me on the bad days.
The week was kind of all over. But on the positive side it's almost over and I survived. No harm in 54 days today. Quite a few urges but I distracted like crazy. But wow 54 days. It makes me a little nervous becuse I can't help but worry that the higher the number the farther I'll fall if I screw up. Idk - trying to think positive about it.
I've been a little careless with the self care lately and haven't been doing as much as I should.
Uh songs - Silent Theory - Sticks and stones
Breathing Theory - Breathless
Have a good weekend - Take care - yeah?
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (just in case, no pressure)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am...well....work starts again for me tomorrow which means I will have to somehow snap back to all that waking up really early stuff from waking up at 10 AM-ish, but otherwise I am doing fine. Thank you for asking. :)
Art therapy does sound really awesome. I am glad to hear that you have got to practice such a thing and I am just really happy to hear that it has helped you so much. I do actually have a sort of a journal thingy as well where I try to just write down positive thoughts, compliments I get and what not. It can be helpful on hard days - although I find it just hard sometimes to open it up buuut otherwise, once I get there on a bad day it definitely helps :)
54 days is really awesome! I am really proud of you. :)
I mean, you see, that's kind of a problem with thinking in clean streaks, I suppose, that you can just "lose them". I do believe tho that this is not something you can lose, all the hard work you have been putting into this, all the coping mechanisms you have helped me get through these days they will all be wtih you. I mean, the important thing and the reason I am really proud of you in the first place is not a number, like 54 in this case, but because I know how hard you have worked for it and how amazing of a work you have done and no matter what it will never change. I will always be proud of you and no matter what you should be proud of yourself as well for just the amazing work you have already done. :)
Well, if you ask me, art therapy sounds like a really amazing way to practice self-care, also just having that positive mental image for later if you will get to do that :)
Also, I do not want to feel you pressured to share songs with each check-in, sorry if I have made you feel like that way. I mean, I am always happy to hear those because you generally are listening to pretty awesome songs - including these from today as well - but, really, there is absolutely no pressure on you :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark I'm glad you're doing good. It is hard getting back into the groove of things after having time away. I hope your week goes good.
I journal too - not as much as I should. It's hard to find the words and get them out. But then when I do - there are times I could write pages of stuff.
Thank you - Deep down I guess I know it's really not about the numbers but as you said the work it took to get to this point. This is a long time for me. Idk - I have a hard time taking pride in anything. A few other people have said the same thing about that if I do screw up - it isn't a failure because of the work. So I try to keep that in mind.
I never even gave that a thought - that the art therapy could be considered as self care. Thank you.
I've never felt pressured by you Red. The uh - was mainly trying to decide which 2. There's been a lot of new music coming out lately. I could drive you nuts with lists of new music! Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad I can share them with you.
Hey - you stay awesome too Red. You do good things here. Have a good week - yeah? Take care
@redmark
Hi again :)
Lots of thoughts in my mind, nothing really new from what I wrote on the trauma check-in. But I threw the wine away and resisted my urges last night. Today is a brand new day, bright too, so I will try to make the most out of it.
Thinking at the picture you posted. Why do they ALWAYS choose broccoli as healthy food?
One of my favourite self-care activity is buying myself some flowers. And go hiking.
Take care awesome
Hey there @admaiorasemper *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am really proud of you! I know that those urges can be really strong but you have done such an amazing job resisting them and getting rid of that wine. :)
Hmm....I have not really noticed this thing with broccoli so far, I just noticed that it is like this thrope in some movies that kids hate to eat it. But, really, I am not sure why broccoli is such a "popular" choice when it comes to representing healthy foods.
Uh....buying flowers, that sounds like such an awesome way of practicing self-care, I do really love that idea. Do you have any favourite flower? :)
Also, going to hike is really nice as well. Do you have a trail - or trails - near you? :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
I like many many flowers. Roses, sunflowers, tulips, liliums, calla lily and lots of others :)
I live near the Vosges mountains in France, so yes there are lots of trails around here! It will take time to explore all of them!
@redmark
This is very random, but are you hungarian? I have just read an old post of you about magyar nyelv :)
@admaiorasemper Yep, I am Hungarian. :)
@redmark
Ooooh! Szia! I lived in Budapest one year :)
@admaiorasemper Oh, that is really awesome! ^-^
Szia! :)
@redmark
well i'm feeling very overwhelm these few days like riding sn rollercoaster a few times i wanted self harm
i miss "him" so much yet i can't tell or have courage
hope you don't judge me for how i feel for a married man
Hey there @jazmine1986 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Love sure can be really complicated. I mean, you do not really have control over who you fall for and I know that just missing someone like that can be really tough. I am sorry that you do have to deal with that but I am really proud of you for still being so strong and resisting all those urges poping up at times. :)
If there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you, no matter what. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
*hugs* to you back as this is what i need the most , i really want to break down completely & wanted to ask for his hug till today i don't have the courage as i'm afraid he might turn me down i feel very helpless ... thank you for your advice / advise / encouragement .
@redmark
I had to reset the count today. I went from 455 to zero in just 45 minutes... this week has sucked alot. and so did the summer. well at least some of it didn't. We went ov a 3 day vacation, a saw my nephew, and i went to church camp. it was amazing. but this last few weeks have been rough.... i do not wanna relive them. but wish me luck that I can make a week or two without cutting
much love to everyone during their jorney of self harm recovery, stuff ahppens and you may relapse, but you can do it. I believe in you, and I love you all. Have a great day and keep your heads up wonderful people . <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Hey there @BandNerd1002 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a tough last few weeks. I am really proud of you tho, 455 days is just such an amazing thing and you have done a really amazing work and that is something that noone can take away from you. Also, those nice times you have had this summer. I do hope that the rest of your summer will be nice as well and I do definitely believe in you, you can get back to two weeks - and even more - clean :)
I do really like your attitude as well. Relapses happen but it is okay, part of the recovery and, yep, you can definitely do it and we all are here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you! :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
thank you. The majority of the summer was a bummer. From February in I had a hard time and really debated to do it or not. Today was an amazing day. It helped release everything. I don't know if I'll be clean again for a while. It felt really good, and I felt amazing today, but I kind of regret it. I doubt that feeling will last long. Im gonna post a daily update in the forum I made so if anyone wants to stay updated that is how to do it! I love all you amazing people keep your head up and if anyone needs anything feel free to message my listener account!
