Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, August 24th, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I have really missed you all. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Do you have anything on your mind you would like to share? I would be glad to listen :)
As usually, my check-in thread is open for you for the whole week although my responses might be slow on weekdays as my work can get rather busy sometimes but, nonetheless, I am always glad to hear from you. :)
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@redmark
Just here sitting :)
How are you?
Hey there @admaiorasemper *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am doing fine, thank you. For some reason I am having a sore throat which is somewhat annoying but generally having a nice day. I hope that your weekend as going well so far :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey How are you?
Today started out a little rough but got a little better toward evening. I've still kept my hands clean. But There have been moments. Idk - Tbh - I kind of don't care - ya know? It is what it is. Probably not the best attitude to have.
This past week was kind of rocky. Dealt with a little depression and some anxiety - still can't sleep much. Having alot of pita moments.
I hope you have a good weekend and week. Take care
A Trigger Within - Become the Ghost
Written By Wolves - Timebombs and Hurricanes
Oh I saw AWS has a new song out - Unfortunately there's no translation
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (just in case, no pressure)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I have somehow managed to catch a cold in like 35-40 C, which I do not unerstand...probably that stupid AC on the trains... but otherwise I am okay, thank you for asking :)
It certainly is tough when you get caught up in depression and that indifferent feeling can be hard to deal with. I have been in a similar place, at least I think, I see that you are still trying. I mean, you may not feel likeit but inspite of everything going on right now you have still managed to keep clean and also now you are just here with us sharing all this. I mean, even if you may not feel like it, you are doing a good job and I want you to know that I am really proud of your for it :)
Of course, no pressure and if there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you, no matter what :)
Also, I like those songs! Especially the second but the first just has so much power to it. I mean, I cannot exactly put my hand on it but, still, I am just amazed how much emotion and feelings music can have in it :)
I do hope that AWS will decide to release that song in English as well sometimes...
Stay awesome!
Somehow I'm faring better than I've fared for the last few years. I've recently stumbled upon what I've wanted to do with my life since...for a long time. I'm in college for speech patholgy and I want to work primarily with children and adults on the autism spectrum. I've always felt love for them, and they for me, so it seems (they often cling to me). I'm leaving my parents' house soon, which I couldn't be more glad of. I love my parents, but, alas, I am an adult. I'm trying to focus more on what matters in life, spending my time doing things that matter more and focusing less on negative things I can't change. I still try to work through what I can, though, and help my friends and family when they have issues. Mostly, I mean getting over the abuse I've been dealt for many years. I've finally left my ex-boyfriend for good and can move on with a healthier life. Today is his birthday, so I've thought of him a couple times, but I didn't get as much anxiety or that dread "yanked-down-into-the-pits-of-hell" as I used to. Sometimes, thinking about him would just collapse my days into ruins, but now I'm able to get through without things falling apart. Perhaps I feel safer and more secure now. I'm glad it's over.
Hey there @medusangel *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
It sounds like there are many positive changes happening in your life and I am just really happy for you for that. :)
I mean, finding your calling, finding what you would like to really do and getting into that field is just such an amazing feeling. After all, you will spend a whole lot of your time working and if you do enjoy your work it can make all the difference on your life and I am just so happy to hear that you have found something like that :)
Also, moving out from your parents is definitely a good and important step allowing you to really shape your own life. I mean, as much as I am sure that your family does love you it can still be somewhat restricting when you do live together with others and not being able to totally shape your own life and surroundings at home :)
Also...I am just so very proud of you! Moving over from a relationship like that can be really hard and you are just making such an amazing progression. Also, I am just happy for you that you have been able to really start to just leave all that behind of you now slowly but surely :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Lol, thanks. I think they're pretty glad to be getting me out of the house, actually, haha, and I'm glad to go. We don't hate each other... but it's not exactly peachy either. ^.^
twtwtwtw ...
I am glad that things are changing. I'm honestly pretty glad that I've grown to stop self-harming. I started when I was 14, I think, had been to in-patient for it, and had been doing it pretty frequently until I was maybe 19 when I severed my ulnar nerve and had to go to the hospital. They thought it was completely severed where'd I'd need surgery, but it wasn't so now I'm just waiting for it to grow back. It's going to take a looooong time, though, sadly.
I self-harmed a little bit with my ex-boyfriend, and he made me more upset and was more abusive than my parents, so I think that arguing with him and being engaged altercations occupied the self-harming; in other words, he was harming me. .-. The last time I did was maybe a month ago when he and I were on the verge of breaking up. I did my thighs for the time and I really regret it because it's hot here and I can't wear shorts. People have already made fun of me enough for it and made me feel like an outcast, or pointed them out, so I never like to wear scar-revealing clothes, which has made it difficult here in the heat.
I got maybe half of the ones on my wrist covered with a tattoo, and I want to cover the rest of them with another one. I found the perfect one too, but we'll see. I know it's going to be more than I want to spend for a while, so I'll probably have to wait some more. I don't think I want to get the ones on my thighs covered, or even think about it until I know if they're going to be permanent or not.
TL;DR
Used to cut my arms until I severed my ulnar nerve, ex-bf was a jerk, was clean for 3 years but then cut a month ago and am now going to be clean again...want to finish my scar-cover tattoos. :3
@medusangel Oww, that definitely sounds like you have been through a lot...
I am really glad to hear that things have turned for the better for you lately. Of course, I know things like this not just magically happen and I am really proud of you for all the effort and work you have put into this to turn your life around like this, you are doing a really awesome job. I do hope that your nerve will recover as well soon - well, as soon as possible :)
Also, yep, I thinkit is possible that you be getting into abusive relationships as a sort of way to hurt yourself. I mean, it doesn't matter now tho, at least I am just happy that you have been able to move on :)
Of course, scars are always tough to deal with. I do think tho that those who are making fun of them and just pointing at them like that are not worth it...not worth to put yourself down like that and hide yourself. I mean, I do have my own scars as well, so I suppose I am biased there, but I do think that those scars are just...well, a tough reminder of what you have been through but also it is a great reminder of what you have been able to get through and come out victorious in the end. At least I do try to focus on the positive and people who know me know that as well - and those who do not know me, I do already wear my headphones most of the time so that is my way of just not caring about the random people around me. I don't know, hopefully it makes sense, I can really ramble somtimes :P
With that said tho, tattoos are definitely an awesome way to cover scars up and I am glad to hear that you are palnning to get a new one :)
