Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, August 31st, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! Can you believe that it is the last day of summer? 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this summer been for you? What is your favourite memory of it? :)
Do you have any plans for this fall? Do you like fall? :)
As usually, my check-in thread is open for you for the whole week although my responses might be slow on weekdays as my work can get rather busy sometimes but, nonetheless, I am always glad to hear from you. :)
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@redmark Hey How are you? I hope your cold got better. I have one myself right now. The weather went from 90 to 70 and down in the 50's at night.
Idk - tbh. I screwed up the other day and harmed. 65 days. Which I know is good - it's a long time for me. But I'm Disappointed in myself. Keep going back and forth from anxiety to depression. Um - in all honesty - I'm having some trouble getting it back in the box.
I kind of can't believe the summer is almost over.
I do like fall - the cooler weather makes it easier to get things done outside. But brings other work that needs done. And I have been really slacking on some of the work that needs done. Ok slacking alot.
I hope you have a good weekend and a good week - take care
Gloom in the Corner - Misanthropic
Lightfall - MIsery
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (just in case, no pressure)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am getting better, my cold is almost competely gone now, thank you for asking. I do hope that you will be able to get out of that cold as well tho as I know, from first hand now, how annoying it can really be to deal with a cold.
You have not screwed up. I mean, I do not see it like that anyway, I am still really proud of you. I know how hard you do try each day and just that, that makes you such an amazing person and I know it is tough, I know it can be just overwhelming at times but you are not alone in this, we all are here with you and together we can get through this - I believe in you! :)
TIme is flying pretty quick isn't it tho?
I mean, it is a big plus for sure that the weather is about to get a bit colder tho and, of course, fall can come with a lot of extra work but also it can be really beautiful as well. Or, at least, I do love the colors changing around this time of the year :)
Oh, that first song does actually remind me of something but I cannot think of the song. EIther way, these are quite awesomesongs. I like the second better I guess but you know that I was always more into those slower, somber songs which it kind of is. :)
Also, I was wonderng if you know the song "Remedy" by Puscifer. I have been listening to it a lot again lately.It is, well, a unique song lyrically, but actually helps me, since I do not usually comfront others and that song somehow helps me vent out a lot of that stress I get throughout the day. Uhm....I mean, I just though I would share, since it is one of those songs that help me in a way. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey Red - I'm glad to hear your cold is better and going away. Hopefully mine will be soon too.
Thank you for the encouragement - it really does mean alot. To know I'm not alone - it kind of gives me a little hope - Thank you again.
Thank you for sharing the group and the song. I had never heard of them before. I really enjoyed a few of their other songs too. Music is a great way to vent isn't it?
You stay awesome as well - have a good week. Thank you again. Take care
I only have a question....does emotional sef harming count as self harming? (Like hurting relations to those whom you care about?)
Does slow self harming count as self harming? Trying to use alcohol. Or just blood and bruises counts as self harming?
I have a joke...I was always a smoker. My benign skin cancer leaves marks on.my skin. One of my former work colegues told others "he selff harms, burning himself with cigarettes", I just smiled thinking at the simple nature of human kind. Having people like that around me is what I need in my life. Simpletons who judge before knowing any better, whose purposes are gossip instead of learning or bonding....
Humans give me all the reasons not to be with them yet I want to be among humans, good ones...
@freshFlower6438
I felt any ending as a trauma in my life so every summer ending I feel sad, even though I like autumn too...more so that with every summer that I miss and not live, is one more summer given to me and wasted...😔
Hey there @freshFlower6438 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
Now, that is an interesting question.
There are just so many reason that people practie self-harm and I think there are just as many methods.
I mean, it may be some self-sabotaging to hurt those relationships but aslo, it depends on the intentions where it falls. I suppose as long as you recognize it not being useful or even hurtful to you in the long run it does not matter.
I suppose same case with those slow self-harming methods...
Nobody is perfect tho, we all practice unhealthy habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I mean, there is this thing where we all try to just hide away our mistakes, those little inperfections from the world, from everyone, things that actually make us human. No one is always happy, it is just impossible although we all seem to chase it but at the end of the day it just isolates us even more, ironically.
I mean, of course, self-harming and those unhealthy habits are not a good thing to have and really, we are here for you, and there are many better, healthier coping mechanisms but we do understand that as well that it is always just so much more complicated. I mean, there is no pressure on you but I just want you to know that I do believe in you and if you ever feel like sharing more here with us, I would be glad to listen :)
Hmm...sure time can fly by pretty fast but "wasted time" is relative, I suppose. Sometimes really just leaning back a bit and relaxing, soaking in the sun, taking a good walk is just so much more important than any milestone you may achieve. Of course, you know yourself the best, you know your summer the best and whichever way you may feel is always valid and important to us. What are things you would like to do? Things you would like to achieve? Something that maybe you can take a small step or two towards this fall, something what may help you feel a bit more in control, giving a bit more of that sense of progression maybe... :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
How are you doing?
How are you feeling today? :)
I'm struggling to be completely honest; I have started self-harming again, and honestly just bing alive is a real struggle everyday,
How has this summer been for you? What is your favourite memory of it? :)
Here in Australia we have just finished winter. I don't like the cold all too much, it is bad for my pain. But I like being able to be covered by heaps of blankets.
Do you have any plans for this fall? Do you like fall? :)
Here it is now spring, I like spring, now that it is getting warmer. I love to just look at nature and how beautiful it looks in the sun.
Hey there @ElephantTiger1 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am doing okay, I am finally getting out of this cold, thank you for asking :)
Oww, it sure sounds like you are going through some tough times lately. I mean, I know it can be hard but I do really want you to know that you are not alone in this and we all are here for you if there is anything we may be be able to help you with or you would just like to vent :)
Oh...yep...I always forget how things are the other way around on the southern hemisphere. I am glad to hear that you are getting out of winter and the weather is getting better for you although, having just so many blankets sure sounds really nice :)
It sure is really awesome as well as nature just comes alive again and you have all that nice sunshine. I mean, I do really like spring as well. ^-^
Stay awesome!
Hey redmark!!! It's been a while so let me catch you up.
I've been ok. I started off the summer rough though which really fueled my depression.
My favorite part of summer was going to the farmers market and getting lots of fruit
I love fall too. I think its it's become one of my favorite seasons because its apple season. I love apples 🍎🍎🍎, the crisp fall weather. And thick cable knit sweaters and boots. I also love all the fall activities.
I plan on enjoying the fall weather and going to the farmers market for apples. And making delicious foods to eat like homemade apple pie and cobbler. I can't wait to start my fall reading
@BrokenAngelxx
I also want to add that i did not relapse into self harm at all this summer, and i made it to 3 years in recovery back in june 2019. I also quit my toxic af job in june and will be starting my new job in a few days in a better environment as I continue my search for a career
@BrokenAngelxx
Hi there, I just wanted to say that I am very proud of you. You are so committed to your recovery process and working so hard. This is inspiring :)
Hey there @BrokenAngelxx *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really awesome to have you here with us once again!
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a rough summer. I am glad to hear that you are still feeling okay tho :)
It sounds really nice to visit the farmers market. Thinking of it now, it is something I should have probably done as well. I mean, we have something similar once every week in my city and I never really went to it although I always plan to. Well, it is never too late, I suppose :P
Oh...apples sure can be pretty tasty, although I mostly just enjoy them in apple pies :P
Of course, the colder fall weather can be really awesome change from summer as well and I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one who is just looking forward to wear soft - and fluffy - fall clothes soon as the weather gets colder ^-^
I were actually always curious of that American apple pie. I mean, you know, what we have in Hungary as "apple pie" is slightly different. I might just look up a recipe for it somedays if I don't forget it :)
Also, picking up some new things to read sounds really nice as well ^-^
I am really proud of you for going so strong, you are doing a really amazing job making it three years in your journey to recovery and, also, I am really happy that you have got out from that toxic work environment. After all, work is a very big part of our life so it can have a big overall effect. I hope this new job will work out for you much, much better! :)
Stay awesome!
Heya @redmark !! I hope you don't get too overwhlemed with work!
My summer was mostly work and soccer. I did get a few days to hang out with friends, and I even got to hang out with some of my coworkers (well, at least the ones who are my age. Most of them are already married with kids but there are few who are a year or two behind me so I have someone to hang out with haha), but it was mostly work.
My plans for the fall consist of getting back into school and that's pretty much it.
A while back, a teammate/friend and I had a falling out and we went no contact for a few months. It was very painful and I almost failed my entire second semester because of how much it hurt. We had a game last night and she tried to tell me I was playing well (probably out of common courtesy, nobody else on the team knows what happened) and I was kind of harsh in return. I wasn't supposed to engage with her and I just wanted to enforce the whole "no conctact". I felt awful about it and decided to text her after the game thanking her for her kind words. I was scared that she'd blocked my number or that she'd be upset back, but she was actually really good about it and even gave me some encouragement. I'm not going to jump right into a friendship with her right away again, but it's comforting to know that we're not on bad terms anymore.
Anyways, I've got to go soon. Take care!
Hey there @CentreMid *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
That sounds like you have had a nice summer. Of course, work can be tough through the summer, especially if you are living in a generally hot place but I am glad to hear that you have got some coworkers you have been able to hang out with a little bit as well as just spend time with your friends and also playing soccer :)
I suppose fall is that time of the year, when school starts, and I know that just getting back to that routine can be hard, so that is a good plan to have :)
It is always hard, isn't it? I mean, so may feelings and emotions can build up and like that, when you least expect it, they can just resurface. I have to admit I might have made some similar mistakes in the past as well. It is really a skill to stay calm when all those, pretty overwhelming amount of feelings hit you at once especially in the middle of a soccer game. I think it is understandable. I mean, being "harsh" is I think something that can happen at times like this and I would think that she has understood that as well that it was really meant for that comment, for her at that very moment but it was really all those months built up. I mean, I hope my rambling makes at least some sense, but, in the end, I am just glad to hear that she was understanding of it and that she has given you some more encouragment for the time being :)
Stay awesome!