Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, July 27th, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I have really missed you all. 
⭐ How are you feeling today? :)
⭐ How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
⭐ Do you have anything on your mind? Anything you would like to share I would be glad to listen. :)
My thread is open for you anytime, although it might take some longer time do respond during the week but feel free to post here any day about whatever might be on your mind, I am always glad to hear from you.
A list of booping nature: @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @akagmai97 @Akor1 @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @asheroo92 @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @beniba08 @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @Brokentopieces356 @bubblzdancr @Bugggy @bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @delicateWindow53 @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @easyMap6620 @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @emily0303 @energeticApricot2459 @epitium @Erato @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FindingPeaceWithin1 @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnybanana4728 @Godsbae @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @HannahO11 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @intellectualHuman6814 @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @Iwannaliveanddream @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @Krispykitty12 @Lasagna1 @Leanna @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @LoveableLesbian @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Maddheda @MandaGPanda @marala11 @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @modestCat9806 @Moosewithducks @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @pumpkinpi @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @quietman4875 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @shymelody @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @stellaluna04 @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yovela @Zammn
>Boop here to be added or removed from the taglist<
@redmark Hey How are you?
Today hasn't been so bad but it is pretty earlier here and sometimes it seems to change 20 times before tomorrow comes. Where the slightest thing can either raise it up or drop it down.
This week was pretty much all over the place. But I have gone 34 days without harming. So I feel pretty good about that. Although - I do feel like I'm kind of perched precariously at the moment. But I am trying - I figure that has to count - right?
Other than that - I'm trying to do good things here. Hoping I'm not stepping on any toes and hoping like crazy I'm not screwing anything up. That fear and worry of saying the wrong thing to someone. Idk - Ive been over-thinking it. I'm pretty good at that too.
Have a good weekend Red. Thank you again for all the good stuff you do here. You're pretty awesome!
@mytwistedsoul
I don't know you, but I am proud of you... 34 days! That is amazing indeed :)
@admaiorasemper Hey How are you? I've seen you around here and there, It's nice to meet you!
Thank you! It's nice of you to say!
I read your post - I wanted to say that I'm proud of you too! For avoiding alcohol and for fighting those urges. I know how hard it can be fighting them. Some days it feels like an all out war. It's great too that you're trying to help others here. We're all here for you too - for encouragement - support - a sympathetic ear. It takes alot of strength and courage to admit and ask for help.
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts. Take care
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (just in case, no pressure)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am doing...well, better. Had a bit of a tough week, it is nice to have some time for myself now, thank you for asking :)
I am glad to hear that you have had such a nice start to your day. I do hope that you will be able to have a nice and relaxing day for yourself and just recharge a bit :)
It does definitely count. I mean, I know that you do try your best and I am always really proud of you to hear how strong you are and I am glad that I have got to know you around here. 34 days is definitely amazing, you are doing a really amazing job :)
That anxiety, when you plan all of your steps ahead....it is tough. I mean, it is definitely something that is not easy to overcome. I do it sometimes - more often than I would like to - but I think it is important that you do recognize that and that you do plan for yourself, to have time for yourself and just to practice self-care and I am really glad to hear that you are taking such a good care of yourself :)
Also, any songs? No pressure, but if you have aynything you would like to share I am always glad to give them a listen :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark hope you are well? :D
⭐ How are you feeling today?
I'm ok. I just found out that I have gained all too much at the weeks with my grandma, so I guess I will self harm tonight. I need to punish myself for letting it get that far. And I need to loose the weight again like... crazy fast. And I REALLY hope some of it is water weight or just you know... food weight, as I was stupid enough to weigh myself after eating. But in a few hours I can weigh myself again, and hopefully I will see that most of it was water/food weight. And I make myself ride my bike twice a day.
But other than that I feel great. I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I can't ride my bike - but I gotta go for walks and work out differently I guess. I have an app for working out and yoga on my phone, so I just gotta figure out which ones that are the hardest ones, so I can loose that weight again. I desperately need to loose that weight and hopefully more. But that means I oughta work out more, and as it is like 28 degrees celcious outside (and even warmer inside) it's a hard thing to get to, as I (funny enough) hate to sweat too much. But I gotta do it, if I wanna loose weight I guess.
Other than that I'm looking forward to see my wonderful family on the vacation (we go to my grandma's brother's home). They are really nice, and we always have fun playing board games and all that. Hopefully we can go for a swim too, as they live very close to the water. But I might just dip my feet, as my mom will kill me if I swim, and therefor show my scares, around my little cousins.
⭐ How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it?
I have had a good week. I have taken like 12 km every day (not more, as my grandma would freak out if I did) and I have been at a job interview and to my surprise I got the job! I'm starting at the pet shop (yes it is! :D ) in a few days after my vacation, and I'm really looking forward to it (the 6th of August) :D
Other than that I have been with my RPG group last weekend, visiting an amusement park with my grandparents and just been at my grandma's aparment (the other grandma). I have not done much, I really wish I had ridden my bike more and not gained, but what done is done and I gonna numb the pain with self harming.
⭐ Do you have anything on your mind? Anything you would like to share I would be glad to listen.
Uhm, not much. I'm just on the job of finding the best work out methodes for the next week, so I can loose weight.
@EvilRegalsReadToo
I do not really know how to say this... It is true that we are often more compassionate towards others than towards ourselves... You wrote so clearly that you want to punish yourself, and I relate to that so much. But at the same time I felt so sad for you. I wish I could take that punishment away from you, and replace it with love. I hope my words do not come across the wrong way... I feel and understand your pain and I wish it wasn't there for you. I hug you if you allow me.
@admaiorasemper, this makes so much sense for me. I'm so glad that someone feels like I feel that helps me feel less weird/strange. Thank you for your comment <3
@EvilRegalsReadToo
You are very welcome to my words <3
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
Oww...I am sorry to hear that you feel like that. I am not exactly an expert when it comes to EDs but, well, I know you have been through a whole lot and I think it is okay to give yourself a break. I know it can be tough tho, I know that gaining weight can be hard but I do know that you are working really hard to maintain your weight and I definitely think that you should not harm yourself over this. At least, I think you are doing a really hard job already dealing with all those things on your mind and sometimes, just some days, it is okay to just allow yourself to have that sort of a break and I do know that once you have recharged you will be able to jump back into things again with full force. :)
You know, I do really admire your dedication. You do really deserve a break tho, that vacation sounds like a really nice start. At least to allow yourself to have some time to just relax and really recharge. I do know this is tough but I know as well that you try your best and I am really proud of you for being so strong and determined but are you sure that this to the benefit of you? I do not doubt you if you say so it has just sounded like for a bit in the end of your second paragraph there that you are a bit unsure as well, so I am just asking feel free to ignore this question tho. :)
Either way I hope that you will be able to have a nice time with your family. It sure sounds nice to just enjoy the company of your loved ones and I do actually really like board games as well. I do also hope that you will be able to get to the water and maybe even swim although I understand that it can be tough when it comes to scars but I just hope that you will have a good time overall around there! :)
Woohoo! I am so happy to hear that you have got that job I know that you have been on the hunt for a new job for a while now. Working in a pet shop does actually sound really nice although I suppose there is more to it than just being around cute animals all day but that is definitely a bonus to it. :P
I am really glad to hear that you have had such a nice week and been able to spend some time with your friends and family as well. Also that amusement park rounds really nice as well. I do really think tho that you do deserve a break every once in a while and there is no reason to be so hard on yourself, although I understand it can be really hard.
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Hi awesome red 
How are you feeling today? Numb. I have spent the day out with my children and a friend, had fun. However... it feels like the real me is just flying above. I am not grounded at all.
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? It has been tough. Lots of negative feelings. I am taking care of myself however, as best as I can. I am asking for help, and this is huge for me. I haven't had any alcohol in the last couple of days, and I didn't self-harm despite a very strong urge. I have logged in again with my listener accounts after months and had a couple of chats, trying to help other people too. What else? I keep sharing very difficult stuff with my therapist. I really want to let him help me. I want to get out of this limbo.
Do you have anything on your mind? Yes. I want to wish you an awesome weekend :)
Hey there @admaiorasemper *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oww, that sure sounds like a tough week. I know that it can be really tough to break out from that limbo but you are already making such an amazing progression. I mean, reaching out for help is such a huge and brave thing from you and I am just so very proud of you for that. Also, for being so strong and being free of your unhealthy coping mechanisms for days now. I can tell that you do really try your best and it is just such an amazing thing of you. :)
Of course, I know that it can be really tough and draining and it can really leave you exhausted and numb at the end of the day but I am still glad to hear that you have been able to spend such a nice day with your kids and family and I want you to know that you are not alone in this and together we can get through this. I believe in you. :)
Also, I do hope that you will have an awesome weekend as well! - thank you very much for wishing me such a fabolous weekend ^-^
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Thank you as always for your support! It does help!
How are you feeling today? :)
Im exhausted physically and mentally.
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
This week has been rough. Couldn
Hey there @Love4All525 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am really sorry to hear that you have had such a tough week. I know that sometimes it can really be just overwhelming and draining. All the emotions and thoughts washing over you but I want you to know that I know that you are trying your best and just by reaching out to us here you really show how amazingly strong you are. I am really proud of you for being as strong as you are and I want you to know that if there is anything we may be able to help you with or anything you would just like to share and vent out we are here for you. You are not alone in this. We can get through this together. I believe in you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
