Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, October 19th, 2019
Happy Saturday to every amazing one! I am so happy to hear from you once again! 
Hedgehogs are so cute and so underrated ^-^
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Is there something on your mind you would like to share? I would be glad to listen. :)
A list of booping nature: @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @akagmai97 @Akor1 @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @asheroo92 @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @beniba08 @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @Bugggy @bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @delicateWindow53 @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @easyMap6620 @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @emily0303 @energeticApricot2459 @epitium @Erato @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FindingPeaceWithin1 @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnybanana4728 @Gin @Godsbae @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @HannahO11 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @intellectualHuman6814 @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @Iwannaliveanddream @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @Leanna @Lilbabygirl @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @modestCat9806 @Moosewithducks @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @pumpkinpi @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietman4875 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @shymelody @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @stellaluna04 @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yovela @Zammn
>Boop here to be added or removed from the taglist<
@redmark
im feeling good today you red. had a very very busy week so far still more to do partially due to my trial coordinator on VL Team im still doing til leaders feel im ready to be official
Hey there @CaringBrit *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Oh, that does sound busy for sure. I am sure that you can get it done, I believe in you! :)
I am glad to hear that you are feeling good. ^-^
Stay awesome!
@redmark thanks and you know hugs are fine with me lol hugs bk xd
This week has been full of disappointments and irritations, many plans and stuff changed or cancelled kinda last minute. After not sleeping last night, this morning it all got too much and I just cried for and hour straight.
My mood ha improved significantly during the day, for no real reason may I add, everything this sucks, guess I just put it on hold for now. But as suddenly as my mood has improved, that might also be reversed later today, just as suddenly. And that really scares me, not being able to predict my own mood and behaviour at all.
Hey there @Madaraismyspiritanimal *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you!
Oww, that sounds like a lot for one week for sure. I mean, I am glad to hear that you have been able to get some good sleep last night and crying, even though it is not a good feeling, can definitely be a good way to release all that frustration.
I mean, I think your mood has not just improved for no real reason. Although, the problems might not yet been resolved but the release of all that frustration by crying and also just getting enough sleep can really make a lot of difference. At least I do hope that your mood will not just switch back to that previous one and that you will have a nice weekend! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Yeah crying can really take the edge off
The evening has been nice and calm so far, hopefully I'll stay that way for the rest of the weekend 🤞
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
I am sorry to hear that you cried that much... better said, I am sorry you were sitting with such upsetting emotions that led to cry that much. At the same time, I am glad you cried, in the sense that you found a good and healthy way to release those emotions. I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, and I understand very well what you say about your mood and behaviour being unpredictable. But you know, it is a gift to recognise when we do have moments in which we are feeling better. I really hope you will be able to fully enjoy your improved mood, you really deserve it.
@redmark Hey Red - How are you? You had a dentists appointment today - yeah? I hope it went well for you.
Today I don't feel too bad - anxiety is kind of going alittle crazy right now. But I havent harmed since last weekend.
Last week was kind of up and down and well - all over. I still haven't been able to do any work in the shop but I did have a request for a kitchen table so I need to do up some plans this weekend and pick out some wood to get it going. Hopefully this will help spark some creativity.
I hope you have a good weekend Red and a good week - Take care
New music - Tides Of Ire - Pest
Tears To Embers - Devices
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (just in case, no pressure)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
It has actually to postponed to Sunday. They have called me midweek about that soo, I still have that ahead of me. Kind of ancxious, but not as much as I could be, I suppose :)
I am really glad to hear that you are not feeling too bad. I mean, even if your anxiety is still bothering you. I am really proud of you for being clean for a whole week now. You are doing a really amazing job :)
Oh, that sounds like you have had a long week. I do not know if I have mentioned it previously but I think it is pretty awesome that you can do all these sort of jobs, like creating a kitchen table. I would not even know where to start with that and it is really just impressive that you so good with these kind of things :)
Probably stupid, but the capital of Hungary, Budapest is made out of two "cities" Buda and Pest and because of that I always kind of just think of that when I see the world "Pest" especially capitalized like this, even though this has nothing to do with it :P
I mean, anyway, with that aisde, I like these songs. Especially the second one. I just like that sort of heavy vibe they have and it is really nice with that little melody in the second song :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Oh wow - I'm sorry to hear it got post poned - I can understand being anxious about it though - I hope everything goes well for you. I bet you'll be relieved when you're finished!
Thank you - It has been a long week. I'm hoping eventually things can calm down some and I can sort of get back to being able to move forward alittle and maybe get somethings accomplished. I worry alot that I just keep falling farther and farther behind. All good things I suppose.
I don't think it's stupid at all! Kind of cool tbh. I never knew it was made out of two cities. I did google Budapest though and it is absolutely beautiful! The architecture is just amazing. It will have to go on my bucket list of places I would love to see. It's a beautiful part of the world you live in Red.
Glad you like the songs :)
Good luck tomorrow!
@mytwistedsoul I am glad to hear that you do like Budapest. It sure has really awsome archietecture and some really awesome places to see and visit, I hope that you will be able to get here and check it out yourself at some point :)
I do know that feeling as well when you are just feeling like "I could do something right now" - when you are just taking some time for yourself, maybe you are just being anxious and, you know, I have found that actually the work that I have forced myself to do at timtes like that just to "do something and not be useless" were always something that have not turned out well, not turned out the way I have wanted.
I mean, it is okay to take some time if you are just not feeling ready at the moment to work on something, just take your time and whenever feel like you can give it your best go for it, do not worry about anything else :)
@redmark
You brought back so many memories! I used to live in Pest, near Ferenciek tere
@redmark
finally i meet my favorite chef today , he asked me how am i .
just now his wife came i apologised to her , as all these while i had been expressing my feelings to him thru my instagram / facebook stories i told her i used to fall in ❤ with a married man before him . i told her i won't go over than that , she told me its ok she don't mind at all i also told her i had learnt a lesson . now i'm feeling emotional as i'm 😨 she would tell him what i told her & both of them won't be my friends anymore . if i were to lose them as friends is equal without me , i almost 😢 just now after parting i also don't know why ever since i know his wife even sometimes had jealousy of her .
🙏 don't judge me please who intend to read / comment , really feel very awful & emotional 😢😢
@jazmine1986
I am sorry you are feeling awful and I hope this difficult feeling will soon leave you. His wife said she doesn't mind at all, she probably really meant it and has appreciated you being honest. No judgement from me :) We do not choose consciously who we fall in love with.
Hey there @jazmine1986 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
That does soiund tough. I am glad to hear that she was okay with it tho. I mean, as written above, you do not really have control over who you fall in love with and I thinkt it is really amazing of you that have told all that to her and you have been honest about the whole situation.
I mean, communication can help a lot in de-escalating situations like this and I think that was the right thing to do to tell her about your feelings and let her know about it all. I mean, it is possible that she was really fine with it, knowing that you are open with her about this as well and you are not the type of a person to do anything behind her back.
Stay strong and awesome!
I've been really struggling today. I've been self harm free for over a year now, but today is really testing me on keeping clean. I became a student again not long ago and I know it's always been very hard for me to avoid self harm when I'm studying so I knew it would be a challenge but I am so close to lossing it today. I don't know what I can do, I have an essay due and can't just wonder off and destract myself like i normal would. It's so hard to not just let go.
Hey there @HatsEatYou *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a tough week. It can certainly hard to get back to school an start to learn again. It an just feel overwhelming to really keep up with all of it at times but I think it is important to also always make sure to not push yourself too much and make sure that you have some time for yourself for self-care.
It can be helpful to take the tasks you have and break them down to smaller steps and make sure to include some breaks in the meanwhile as well as it is just better to track your progression like that :)
Either way tho, I want you to know that I am really proud of you for being free of self-harm for almost a year now, you are doing a really amazing job! :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@HatsEatYou
Hi there, how are you feeling today? I hope the urges have subsided <3
I want to say that being clean for a year is really a big accomplishment, I am proud of you. No matter what happens, this is something that shows how much strenght you have inside you, something to be really proud of.
Being a student again after some time can be a very challenging this, and it is very understandable that your old coping mechanisms would try to resurface. As redmark belows has suggested, I would also encourage you to take little steps at the time, and little self-care breaks too. No matter what you are expected to do, you and you health always come first...
Good Morning, I am new to this group but I wanted to share some encouragement to those who do not see an end to self-harm. You CAN change your habits! It isnt easy and doesnt happen overnight, but there is a bright future on the other side. Please know that your feelings and situations serve a purpose, even if you cant wrap your mind around what they could possibly be.
I used self harm as a coping skill for many years... I thought it was about control but I never had control over it. It controlled me, and I spent so much energy hiding it that I was exhausted all the time.
This community is so positive and empowering! I applaud you for taking the first step and coming here for support.
Things will get better, dont give up on that hope.
You have survived 100% of your worst days, youre doing great!
Hi @Meadowlark20, welcome to the community! I am glad you have joined us and shared your experience. I hope to see you around :)
Hey there @Meadowlark20 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
Welcome here! We are really glad to have you here with us!
Thank you very much for all those positive thoughts and motivating messages. It can certainly hard to break out of the habbit, to find new, healthier coping mechanisms but it is not impossible.
I am really happy to hear that you have been doign such a good job with recovery and I am really proud of you and also just glad to have you here with us now.
Also, I can really relate to those little messages, thank you for those! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
@redmark
I relapsed today... It is worse than the last time I did it. Idk whether it feels good or not. I need better coping mechanisms. Oh well I suck its ok. Sorry I failed you guys. I am trying ig
Hey there @BandNerd1002 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
You have not failed anyone and you do not suck. I know that relapses are tough but they are part of the recovery. Just look at it an other way, the fact that you have used the word "relapse" means that it is not just a normal everyday thing anymore, it shows that you do indeed try your very best and you are already making progression.
I know this is tough but I am really proud of you for all the hard work and effort you put into this and I want you to know that you are not alone in this and we are here for you no matter what. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@BandNerd1002 we know you are trying, this is what really matters <3
I hope you will manage not to be that hard on yourself, you haven't failed us, you do not suck, you are suffering and trying to feel better.
Today hasnt been going great so far. I've had a bit more in my workload because I didnt finish some things last week. And now this week I have more in my work load because I've been putting things off and I feel really terrible about it. I could have got some stuff done yesterday but I didnt and know I'm incredibly overwhelmed and its my fault and I feel awful about it. I havent cut in about three weeks but I have self injured in other ways. I've been crying so much today and its not even 10:00 am yet. I know things arent going to get better if I keep wallowing in self pity but everytime I think about that I feel incredibly guilty and cry harder. And theres also this friendship that I'm not quite sure is healthy but I dont really know how to talk to her about it.
Hey there @fairmindedRaspberries1389 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
First of all, just try to take some deep breaths, maybe go out to the fresh air for a little walk, listen to some music :)
It is really easy to get stuck in that mindset, I know it, I was there many times and it actually helped me at least to just take a break of it - of everything, just giving myself 10-15 minutes of a break. After that just try to take one task at a time and work and concantrate on that and just take it one step at a time. You can do it, I believe in you! :)
Also, when it comes to relationships that are toxic or just negative in one way or other it can be tough as well to confront the other person about it. I have - in general as well - found it helpful to write things down. Like writing a letter, not to send it just to collect your thoughts about it and, if it comes to that, you will still have a letter at your hand if it comes to the confrontation and still cannot get yourself to say things out. :)
Stay awesome!
I'm feeling alright I suppose. It's been awhile since I've been on here but I've been feeling worse lately so I figured I'd hop back on here for a little extra support. I don't know why but over the last couple of months I've been more stressed and anxious than ever. I'm not usually like this (well I am about some things like how I don't tell anyone my worst fears because I'm afraid that if we have a falling out in the future they will use them against me lmao) and I don't have any reason to be but I suppose I've just got to wait it out. I've also been feeling very alone. It's not like I don't have any friends, I do and they're all lovely, but I feel like they know nothing about me. However, the things they don't know are things that I'm not necessarily ready to share. Even though I've been feeling pretty garbage lately, I'm very happy to have finally found a healthy way to cope when I feel like this. So I suppose that's something! If you have read this far, I hope you are having a good day.
Hi there @wellthatwaseasy, it is nice to see you here and I am happy you realised you may need some little extra support.
I am proud of you for having found a healthy coping mechanism, that is really great. I hope with time you will find a way to completely trust your friends and open up even about those scary things. I really understand how you feel about this, it is something I relate a lot and I am working on it in therapy. Wish you a good day too!
Hey there @wellthatwaseasy *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
That is tough, sharing fears like that with anyone is really hard because it means that you will just become vulnarable and nobody likes to be vulnarable. Or, well, it is tough. I mean, all you see around you is people being strong and happy and just positive so it can feel really hard when you cannot identify that. It is kind of a lie tho, something that we do all participate in, hiding aour flaws, our weknesses, our fears to fit in.
I am glad to hear that you do at least consider it right now to share some of those with your friends, even if you are not yet feeling ready and it is totally okay to take your time with things like this and just wait it out for the time being :)
Also, I am really happy to hear that you have found a new and healthy coping mechanism, it is really what this recovery journey is about and you are making a really amazing progression with it, I am really proud of you for that :)
Stay awesome!
