Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, September 14th, 2019
Hello every-amazing-one! Another week has passsed and I cannot wait to hear from you all again! 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
What is your favourite self-care activity? Have you got to practice it lately?
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@redmark hi.
How are you feeling today?
This is not a happy visit, sadly. My bad mood and sadness has evolved into a full blown winter depression, as it does every year, and I feel like shit. I really feel like self harming and I'm crying all the time. Most of the time I just go to bed, to stop myself from crying, or self harming or feeling even worse. But I'm kind of... I feel like I'm in a dirthole and only getting in deeper and deeper. It sucks.
I have talked to my mentor about it, and she ordered me on a sick leave from my job (apparently I can't even handle 5 hours a week) for two weeks, in the hopes of me feeling better and being able to get back to work again. I feel sooo stressed out, and I hate going to work bc I feel like I'm not supose to be there. I could only make myself stay at work by listening to music all the way through and even there it was almost unbearable to be there.
So now I'm ordered to take it easy and sleep a lot. Which can be hard, as they are remaking the floor in front of my appartment and they are just so loud all the time. Mostly from 7am to 4pm. Which means I can't sleep enough for me to not be stressed. So hopefully everything will be better when they are done... in february next year --'
But I'm planning on sleeping at my grandma's a lot more often, so I can actually get some sleep. Seems ridicules to go to bed earlier than 9pm, to get enough sleep. Sounds a little stupid. But... I'm sure it will get better, it just have to.
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it?
This last week has sucked. I have been feeling more and more depressed and more and more stressed. But today I'm actually feeling a little better today, even though I... I feel stressed about the noise. They are less loud, or in less time at least, in the weekends though.
What is your favourite self-care activity? Have you got to practice it lately?
I'm resently taking a lot of baths and belting out my favorite showtunes. Helps me to forget.
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Oww, it is definitely tough when the weather gets colder and you see less and less of the Sun. I know that it can usually have a bad effect on my mood as well on the long run... With that said, I am sorry to hear that it had hit you so hard, I know that it can be really tough when you find yourself in that hole and, well, I just want you to know that you are not alone, we all are here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you or if you would just like to talk about it and vent anytime. :)
I am glad to hear that you have got some time for yourself now tho. I mean, is there something that you enjoy doing? Some movie you love, maybe order some of your favourite food - get some hot chocolate or whatever you do like. I mean, little things, just treat youself a little bit while you are at home because you do definitely deserve it and just not worry about your job for the time being, for a little bit. :)
I mean...okay...with some good headphones, probably. It really sucks that they have to work on the sidewalk/floor at around those times of the day. I know that all those machines and what-not they are using can be really loud. You could maybe get some ear-plugs, pharmacies and most work safety stores have those and those can work wonders as well. Although, that does not solve the vibrations but it can really mute out the sounds if you would just like to sleep.
I mean, either way, a regular sleep schedule can really improve your mood. I have just kind of messed up mine last week and I have really suffered from it and now I made an effort to keep to it and get back to the usual schedule and I can really feel it. Hopefully it will be helpful for you as well to have that sort of a schedule in your life :)
I am glad to hear that your mood has improved a little bit as of now. About that noise, well, some good noise-cancelling headphones can really make wonders - everything is better with some music, if you ask me - or if you would just like to sleep you can grab a par of ear plugs probably :)
Taking baths sounds like a really good way to practice self-care as well just listening to some good music.
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
i'm feeling mixed emotions
😭 💔
Hey there @jazmine1986 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
It can be certainly tough when you have a whole lot of mixed emotions. I would like to know tho that you are not alone in this and if there is anything we may be able to help you with or you would just like to vent we are always here for you. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Im pretty good today. I have most of today home alone so I'm kinda happy about that. This week has been okay. Certainly not my best week, but not my worst either. It started off alright but I began to obsess over litlle things. I've been having some trouble with food (overeating some days, eating close to nothing other days), but I'm getting back in control. I did self harm a couple times this week but it wasnt as bad as usual. I made cookies the other day and they are so good! This week may not have been a great week but I'm happy today, and I think I'll be okay.
Hey there @fairmindedRaspberries1389 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am really glad to hear that you are feeling good today. Having the house for yourself does sound really nice, I do love to be home alone as well from time to time! ^-^
It sure can be a balancing act at times to stay in control over everything in our life and we may slip at times but I am glad to hear that overally you are getting back into that balance and, also, those cookies sound definitely really nice - I kind of want to make some for myself now :P
Stay awesome!
hello,
this week has been super stressful and i did relapse but i remembered 7cups and returned back after what seems like enternity being gone. this thread is new to me so hoping it helps/
Hey there @jewelsashes *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
Welcome back! We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a tough week. I am glad that you have remembered this place tho and I just want you to know that no matter what, you are not alone in this here. We all are here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you with or if you would just like to vent. We can get through this together - I believe in you :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
@redmark
@redmark
This week is shit. Especially today. I may not get to go to church, I feel like i shouldn't be here on this earth anymore, and there is alot more, but I don't wanna say more. I wanna cut so badly. I may today. Especially if we end up knowing for sure that we aren't going to go to church tomorrow. I probably will and i hate myself for it. I hate myself for everything, and i hate everything about me. Im sorry
Hey there @BandNerd1002 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am really sorry to hear that you are having such a tough week. I do hope that you will be able to get to church tomorrow.
I know it can be really tough at times and the urges just very strong but, no matter what, I want you to know that you are no alone in this. If there is anything we maybe able to help you with or you would just like to vent we are always here for you. I do beliee in you and I believe that you do deserve all the love and support coming to your way and you definitely not deserve hate, although, I understand that self-hatred is a different beast and not that easy to overcome but, still, I would like you to know that it is just nice to have you here with us and we are genuenly glad to have you here and hear from you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Thank you. I fell asleep after I wrote that, so I didn't end up doing it. My dad never gave us an answer about church, so we are just going to wake him up in the morning. His excuse is " I have too much shit to do" But then he sat around for like 2 hours today doing nothing, so he must not have been too busy. Oh well, I'm done caring. If nobody else is going to then neither am I. I don't care anymore. I'm sorry. But it's true. I'm not going to do anything though. Lots of love to anyone struggling with self-harm. its hard and it sucks, but it will be ok. You are amazing. ANd hugs to anyone who needs it!
@BandNerd1002 I am glad to hear that you have not ended up self-harming and you have got some sleep. :)
Sometimes it sure can be tough when people, like your father, does send mixed signals like that. I mean, who knows, he might have been tired and so he just wanted to rest a bit but, still, there are just so many better ways to communicate that. I am glad to hear that you have changed your mind tho although, I can see that this is still tough for you. No pressure tho, but if you would ever like to just vent we are always here for you.
@BandNerd1002
I don't know your life, so don't get me wrong when I say this. But from my own experiences I can say that whenever I've told myself I didn't care anymore, I did care. Be it a lot or a little, I cared, I was just too tired of putting in effort with no results. If the same is true for you, that's ok, take a step back for a while.
As I said I don't know your relationship with your dad, but maybe next time you feel he's being unclear or contradictory, try telling him it's ok if he'd rather stay home and rest. Or in more general terms, try and approach him openly. You're experiences with him will probably after affect the way you respond to him. Maybe you become snappy or angry right away. But communication comes from 2 sides, maybe he's misunderstanding you too.
My point is sometimes the best thing you can do is ask a neutral question.
Besides that I wanna compliment you on thinking of other people having a hard time, that shows you are a caring person, so I think you're selling yourself short in saying you don't care.
I hope you can work out the issues you're having with your dad 🙂
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Thank you for your kind words. I was able to end up going to church today. It was amazing. It was the happiest I've been in like 2 weeks. My dad isn't very open to communication. I have tried before. It usually ends up with him yelling at me for something completely unrelated. Oh well. I'm kind of ok today so That is a plus, and I made it throughout the day yesterday without cutting, so that's another great thing. Things are getting better today. Hopefully, they continue to improve. I gave a letter to my youth minister today. He may cry when he reads it. It was such an emotional letter. I hope he likes it. He said he probably will cry when he reads it. I hope what I said helps him with whatever he is going through, and I hope that he knows how much he means to me. He saved my life. Literally. Without him, I don't know if I would be alive today. I was in such a bad place that without him helping me I don't know where I would be. And I mean it. Welp that's all for now folks. If you wanna hear more about me and/or you need a place to vent about anything you can go over to my forum post. It's a judgment-free zone, and I would like to hear from anyone, and I would love to hear more about people there. Feel free to go over and share stuff about you. I really wanna know more about you all! Much Love and support to anyone hurting or going through some hard stuff. I'm sorry, and my prayers will be with anyone who needs them. Lots of love again to everybody <3 and *hugs* if you want them.
This week was really bad. I finally received financial aid from my school- but they're giving me so little that I don't even know if I can keep going to this school. I may have to move back to my hometown but my parents are selling the house so I won't have a place to live when I go back.
My mom was sent to jail too. She and my dad (who are divorcing) got into a fight and idk what happened but one of them attacked the other. I don't know who's story to believe. Yeah it's been a bad week. All this on top of trying to adjust to moving to a whole new state and having no friends.
Hey there @SpiritEye *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
Oh, that does certainly sound tough. I do not know about your school, or just in general the support systems that your place might have in place, but I know that here in Hungary there were many different financial aids you could apply depending on your social and economic status. Not necessarily only at your school but maybe at your school districts and organizations around. I mean, I do not know that you have such an option but it would maybe worth to just look and ask around :)
I mean, all that family drama and the divorce, it sure can really make things very tough. I mean, I am not sure I could say ot do much here to ease that however I can promise you one thing and that thing is that here you are not alone. We are here for you so if there is anything we may be able to help you with or you would just like to vent we are here for you anytime, no matter what. :)
You do not have to all this alone, we are in this together here and we can get through this together. I do believe in it anyway and I definitely believe in you!
Stay strong and awesome!
Its been kinda tough. My best friend passed out right there infront of me and i couldnt stop her from banging her head. I felt guilty.
I definately was struggling to keep the blade away this week but i made it through.
It became an addiction to cutting at one point, but this week taught me that cutting isnt a necessity, no matter how tough things get. 🤟🏻
Hey there @understandingCucumber8111 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
You know, one of my friends does have epilepsy, that means that he can pass out at times as well - or well, get a seizure - but, either way, I know that there is usually no time to react. I mean, I am really sorry to hear about your friend, it does sound tough but do not be too hard on yourself, I am sure that you have tried everything to catch her. :)
Also, I am just really proud of you for making it through this week like that, you are doing a really amazing job :)
I know that it can be quite hard to break the habbit, and can even be addictive, but you are definitely making amazing progress :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark thank you so much!
@redmark
hi there.
it's been a long week. the harm thought have been picking up lately again. It's frustrating. I was hospitalized this summer for self-harm and it's in my ind a lot right now. I keep making plans and thinking-through scenarios and... I am doing a good job of procrastinating and making small time goals, so I haven't done anything yet it just worries me. Because thinking so much makes me feel like it's inevitable.
As for self-care, I've been using my weighted blanket and my super-soft blanket I made out of a few different costume furs for calming and soothing sensory stuff.
Hey there @RabbitTangerine *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a long and tough week. I know that it can be really hard and frustrating even when those toughts just keep coming but I want you to know that I am really proud of you for being so strong so far and resisting all those urges. Of course, I know that it can feel like those thoughts are eating you up but I want you to know that you are not alone in this and if there is anything we may be able to help you with or you would just like to vent anytime we are always here for you. We are in this togethera and we can get through this. I believe in you! :)
Oh...I like soft and fluffy things and that super-soft blanket just sounds sooo nice. Also, I have heard a lot of good things about weighted blankets as well. Either way, I am glad to hear that those are helping you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@RabbitTangerine. Self harm can be a monster to deal with. Anything that can be done to defeat it and get better, is well worth trying. Every day of not harming is a milestone and huge advance in the battle. Self love or self acceptance gets ruined by self injury. But any advantage against SI is overly more than worth it.