Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, September 21st, 2019
Hello every-amazing-one! I am really happy to hear from you once again! 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Have you got to practice any self-care lately? Do you have anything planned maybe? :)
As a side-note, this next week will be busy for me at work so it might take more time than usual to get back to you mid-week but I will try my best and get back to you as soon as possible :)
*boops* @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @akagmai97 @Akor1 @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @asheroo92 @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @beniba08 @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @Brokentopieces356 @bubblzdancr @Bugggy @bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @delicateWindow53 @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @easyMap6620 @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @emily0303 @energeticApricot2459 @epitium @Erato @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FindingPeaceWithin1 @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnybanana4728 @Godsbae @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @HannahO11 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @intellectualHuman6814 @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @Iwannaliveanddream @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @Leanna @Lilbabygirl @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @modestCat9806 @Moosewithducks @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @pumpkinpi @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietman4875 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @shymelody @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @stellaluna04 @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yovela @Zammn
>Click here to be added or removed from the taglist<
@redmark hi :)
How are you feeling today? :)
I'm feeling good. Almost great. I'm not self harming, and I'm not currently working, but I will get back to that. Not next week, but the week after that, as I am still on sick leave. Hopefully I can make it work and not get stressed and depressed again, as I did the last time. I mean, I have to figure out how much work I can handle, and that's good, right? I mean I have to hit bottom, to figure out how much I can handle.
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
This week has been good. I'm glad I'm home again and I feel good about myself. I know being at my grandma's almost all week was the only thing hindering me from self harming again. But now I feel better about life, and not as depressed. I'm all good, I think. I'm a little scared of starting working again, as I'm scared I will be stressed and depressed again, but I really hope I don't go down that road this time again.
Have you got to practice any self-care lately? Do you have anything planned maybe? :)
I had a good bubblebath the other day. I have begun planning my novel too, and I feel good about it. It's all good. I mean it's hard and such, but it's good too. It's difficult to do, I mean, but I like that I have begun doing the footwork before I'm writing :)
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Was still feeling uneasy about my friend this morning, but felt pretty calm. After breakfast my mood started to get worse, I asked my aunt if she could stop making smacking sounds while chewing. This was immediately met with defensive responses, like "I can't help it" and "I'm not allowed to do anything anymore". This while she knows I'm hypersensitive in general but especially bad with sounds. I responded to these things by saying I'm expected to change or stop my unwanted behaviour I can't always control.
After this we both got quiet, and basically acted like it never happened.
Later today we went grocery shopping together, which went fine, but on a Saturday it's pretty busy of course. Meaning a lot of triggers to exhaust me mentally, screaming children, parents who don't give a shit, people only caring about themselves and getting in the way constantly, the list is unending.
Being back home I got increasingly irritated with everything, but mostly with myself.
Half an hour ago I got really close to having an anger outburst again, but instead I SH'd
The sting I'm still feeling is enough to distract me for now.
I haven't really done any self care today and am not really feeling like doing anything right now. Ideally I'd go for a long bike ride, but I'm not sure if I can get myself off the bed
Hey there @Madaraismyspiritanimal *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
Oww, loud chewers can sure be really irritating. I mean, I suppose it may be that you aunt can not really help it but I can understand thy it can really be tough to deal with - especially given that you have been already feeling uneasy because of that friend. I guess, her defensive response is probably understandable if she is really not able to help it but also there are definitely better ways to communicate that as well. I suppose it might be something sensitive for her as well but, either way, I feel like she could have probably handled that better.
I guess it may be just the best thing to do to move on tho, like you have done and, maybe, hopefully, at the end of the day she will look out for it better.
I do not like shopping either. I mean, especially not in the weekends. I do usually plan ahead and try to always go to places outside of the peak hours if I can to avoid crowded places like that. Either way tho, I am sorry to hear that you have had such a tough day, I can understand that it can be really hard.
Days like these can really drain you. I do know myself as well that it can really bring out all those urges and just sort of self-hatred I do sometimes still feel. I mean, I am really just sorry that you have had such a tough day and please, take good care of yourself and of whatever are you have harmed at and let it heal properly.
Well, I think doing nothing and allowing yourself to just recharge a little bit is a way of self-care as well. Or, well, at least something that helps you feel better and also is not unhealthy, so at the end of the day it kind of qalifies :)
Stay strong and awesome!
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
yay! I am really glad to hear that you are feeling better. I do hope that you will have a nice week of relaxing on this next week as well. I do think as well that it is something that you have to learn, your boundaries and just how much stress and work you can take. I hope that you will be able to find a better balance of work and free time when you will get back to work the week after next one :)
Also, I am really proud of you for not self-harming. Of course, it can be tough to get back to work but now with that you know your boundaries and how much you can handle better it will most likely help you to find a better and much more healthier balance of your work and personal life. Well, one step at a time, of course, but I do believe in you and I believe in that you will be eventually able to find that balance ^-^
Ohh....a bubblebath sounds really nice. - also, I just love the word bubble for some reason :P
Also, writing a novel sounds really exciting. Although, probably a whole lot of work as well. I have only been writing as a hobby but that was sure fun. I do hope that you will have a good time getting that novel started and writing it as well :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey Red - How are you?
This has been another rough week for me. Just dealing with a pretty heavy depression with a side of anxiety. I have't harmed for well - today is day 3. But the urges are there. But I'm just trying to take it one moment at a time.
The self care here has really suffered this week. I know I need to try to do alittle better with it. Although I have been spending time here talking with people so maybe we can consider that a form of self care?
I hope you have a good weekend Red - get alittle self care in for yourself too - especially with a busy week coming up.
Be gentle with yourself. Take care
Ah - music - we're alittle on the heavy side at the moment -
Motionless in White - Necessary Evil - Disguises
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (no pressure, just in case)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Oh, hey, three days being clean is pretty awesome! I know that you have been through a whole lot lately and you have felt really overwhelmed so I am really proud of you for making it for three days, you are doing an amazing job :)
Of course, I am sorry to hear that you are going through such hard times still tho, I know that anxiety and depression can really pull you down and try to isolate you but, once again, I am really proud of you for not allowing those to isolate you and reaching out to others here. It does definitely counts as self-care :)
Well, yep, I definitely do not look forward for this coming week. Especially that I do have a slitgh toothache for a bit now and I am just worried that if it may get worse - but also I hope that it will get better. I would feel kind of guilty if I would need to jump out of the team at around end of quarter just to visit a dentist, so hopefully that will not happen - also, visiting the dentist is kind of scary >.<
Anyhooow, sorry for rambling there a bit :)
I like the music. These video clips are kind of wild, although fitting the whole tone and lyrics of the songs. They remind me sort of to some early Marilyn Manson as well. Interesting anyway, but overall I do like them :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark I'm sorry to hear about your toothache. I hope it feels alittle better for you and at least maybe holds off until you have the free time to get it looked at.. You're right - denist visits are scary. I have one coming up in Oct - just a check up and a cleaning but I've allready been dreading it.
Feel free to ramble anytime Red. We're all here for each other - right?
Thank you - have a good week. Take care - good luck with your tooth. (fingers crossed here)
@mytwistedsoul Hey, sorry for my late reply here. I do wish the best for you for that dentist visit in October and, of course, we all are here for one-another. Thank you!
I relapsed the other day! I felt disgusting afterward and guilty! My boyfriend and I are arguing a lot lately and he said some pretty hurtful things so I went for a shower and did it! I told him the next day because I knew he was going to notice and he seemed disappointed :/ I felt so embarrassed and disgusting afterward! And now we keep arguing and he keeps saying awful things when he gets mad and I keep thinking how much of a release it would feel like to do it again! But I know that I'll feel the same again but in the moment I just feel like it would help I have been doing well to stop myself since then because I keep reminding myself how I felt the next day. Sorry for how long and messy this is just needed to vent, I haven't been on in a while and I just needed to get some things off my chest.
@itsmesara
You don't need to feel guilty or embarrassed about it, it helps you cope. Of course, there are less damaging ways to cope, but finding the ones that work for you takes time and effort.
Have you expressed to your boyfriend that those things he said are hurtful to you. And it might feel weird, but when you think he's disappointed, ask him. Maybe you misunderstood.
I wish you luck communicating with your boyfriend, take care 🙂
@Madaraismyspiritanimal I have told him but when he gets mad he says them anyway and says that he thinks I'm a sook and that I cry when he calls me names and that I need to toughen up
When I say he said some hurtful things I mean really hurtful and he thinks that it's nothing and that I need to stop being a sook yet when I don't sook and I fight back he just says even more hurtful things!
Hey there @itsmesara *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I do agree with the previous post here, there is absolutely nothing you should be embarassed of.
It does sound like you have got some rather unhealthy practices in your relationship. Of course, not relationship is perfect and that is why communication is very important. Also, of course, setting up healthy boundaries. I mean, I would like you to know that you and your feelings are always valid and important and it is very important to set up boundaries and communicate those with your boyfriend and expect her to respect those boundaries.
Of course, I know that this is always much more complicated, so no pressure, but please make sure to take good care of yourself and if there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
