Self-Harm Recovery Weekly Check In: Saturday, September 28th, 2019
Hello every-amazing-one! I have really missed you all! 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Do you have anything on your mind you would like to share? :)
Sooo....end of quarter at work is nearly over, only Monday left, so next week we are back to the usual schedule mostly, I will try my best to get to you as soon as I can :)
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@redmark
still feeling ups & downs , didn't cry wish to meet him immediately & gave him a tight hug (just say) as till today i don't have any courage to ask for one . i don't know how he'll or his wife react , truly 😨 each time see his Instagram & Facebook posts just hear his laughters he really made my day . i know i'm not his perfect fan , as his fans has increased up to
Hey there @jazmine1986 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
It can be really hard to have a crush on someone you cannot really have a relationship with.
I mean, I do not really know what can help with that. I was there once and I think it was just time, even though it is tough but, who knows, maybe just giving it some more time can help you as well.
I am glad to hear that you have not cried today because of him tho and just generally that you have had a better day as it is important to try to just stay focused on your day to day life and not just completely get lost in this :)
Stay awesome!
I'm okay I guess. I've been binging a lot and having a lot of morning depression. I'm sick and am seeing my doctor on Monday, not just for that but also to discuss my ED. I self-harmed on the 26th but I'm trying not to anymore. I've been trying to recover.
Hey there @skinnymudblood *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
Doctor appointments can be really tough for sure. I am proud of you for keeping up with them and trying your best to not self-harm and get on your path of recovery. Of course, there might be some set-backs here and there, but it is just part of recovery, sadly. I mean, I really just want you to know that you are not alone in this, we all are here with you in this :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? :)
Today I was just kind of numb.
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
This week has kind of been like today, a few moments of extreme emotions but other than that just kind of numb.
Do you have anything on your mind you would like to share? :)
The people in my school suck, and just want to be in more drama, which is sooooo draining.
Hey there @porter2927 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling numb. I know that it can be pretty tough when you just become numb like that especially when it lasts for a while like that.
I do hope that you will have some time to just regenerate and recharge a little bit soon tho as I can imagine that all that drama at school can really be draining.
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey Red - How are you? I saw you were having some anxiety problems last week. I hope you're feeling better. I hope my mentioning it didn't make it worse. I know how that is. Idk - I guess I just wanted to say I was glad to see you reach out.
I made it for awhile with no harm. 8 days to be exact but then I messed up again. I know relapses are part of the healing but I'm getting tired of always falling. I seems to go back and forth between the weight of depression and the crazy anxiety. Sometimes there's sleep - sometimes there's not. I'm falling behind on things that need to be done here to get ready for winter - which it's amazing - where did the summer go. Anxiety make me want to panic about it sometimes but then depression makes me not care. I kind of get tired of myself - the fact that there always seems to be something not quite right with me and then I get it in my head that I'm a toxic person and need to just keep to myself and keep my mouth shut. That whole thing about getting tired of hearing myself so surely everyone else is tired of hearing it too. Which I'm pretty sure I've said that before. Idk - life just needs to be alittle more simpler. I am grateful for this place and for you and the other nice people I've met here. Thanks for letting me ramble Red.
I hope you have a good week - take care
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs* (no prssure, just in case)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Well, it seems like I will not get away with my teeth this time, I will have to visit a dentist which I kind of dread and will probably be helpful as well since my teeth are not the most "healthiest" in general anyway I think. Anyhow, thank you for asking :)
I can ensure you that I am not getting tired of you here.
I know this is really tough for you and there is a lot of anxiety and depression that is just hard to deal with and at times like this it is not really easy to make any like big changes or progression happen. This is something that we do share tho. I mean, okay we may be having different problems, different hurdles to overcome but we do share that we all are here to try to grow and try to overcome those and we all know that it is really hard.
Part of why I do like this place is that, even if I do not always necessarily share about my struggles, I just feel like I am not alone. I mean, I do not know if that makes sense but I like to think that we all really are in this together and it is something that is making things easier for me and hopefully for you as well.
I mean, no pressure tho, but if you ever feel like posting here or sharing anything do not be worried that you are tiring me here because I can really ensure you that it is definitely not the case. I like to hear from you and, also, just the fact that I know that you do care about me as well, always asking how I am doing, it actually means a lot as well.
So, do not worry about a think or relapses like that. We are in this together and we can get trough this together! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey Red - thank you. I always feel better after talking with you. I guess it's because I can kind of relate to your feeling with the anxiety and depression. I always appreciate the time you take to talk with me.
I'm sorry to hear about the up coming dentist visit - I don't like going there myself. I'm kind of glad you're going though as I know it will make you feel better in the long run. I don't like anything that causes pain in my head myself and I know toothaches are one of the worst pains - aside from migraines. Which reminds I have a visit coming up myself next week for a 6 month cleaning. Not looking forward to it either.
It does make alot of sense. The not feeling like you're alone. Even if there are things we don't share - there is just - Idk - a human bond. That connection - because sometimes I feel like I'm not completely connected to the rest of the world. It does make it easier to know that I'm not walking this alone.
You are an amazing person Red - giving the time and effort you put into replying to everyone here. Thank you!
I hope you have a good rest of the week - I wish you good luck with the dentist - if it helps any maybe imagine that we're all there with you giving you support - although I imagine the dentists office would be pretty crowded.
Take care Red - be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
@redmark I always constantly thinking about self harming more and I have no one to reach out to because I have trust issues. I am going to crack any second please help
@Sunsetbeyond120 Hey - it is great to see you reaching out here! I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time right now. Do you know of ways to distract yourself? Of course we're always here to listen - I understand how hard it is dealing with the urges. You aren't alone.
@mytwistedsoul thank you, do you have any advice? Do you know how to distract myself?
@Sunsetbeyond120 You're welcome - Well let's see there's the usual with rubber bands and ice. I myself like drawing with marker when I want to harm. There's this cool thing called the butterfly project - where you draw a butterfly everytime you feel the urge. If butterflies aren't your thing - you can draw anything - I have a fondness for drawing spiders. Or going for a walk - is also pretty good - because it gets you away from the situation - allow yourself to focus on what's outside around you. The birds - or cars depending on where you live. I live in the woods - so I'm surrounded by nature. The trees and animals are relaxing.
Talking with someone - playing with a pet - music. Music is also a big thing for me. Of course coming here helps too. Being able to talk with people who are going through the same things - makes you feel not so alone.
@mytwistedsoul thank you so much, I already draw butterflies so that does sound like it could work. I agree with the walking too, just walking with my friends put me off the idea!
@Sunsetbeyond120 You're very welcome. I hope it helps. Of course, you're always welcome to tag someone if you need or want to talk and can't or don't want to reach out to a listener.
Just to give you an idea of how it works.
@mytwistedsoul thank you so much! I would like to do this even if my mum has a go at me!
@Sunsetbeyond120
I am here sitting with you, you are not alone. I understand how you feel very well. Urges are like waves, they feel very strong, but they do pass.
It takes time to find alternatives that work for us, but it is possible. Here you find a few links to posts where alternatives have been previously discussed. You will hopefully find something useful:
https://www.7cups.com/forum/SelfHarmRecovery_65/InformationandResources_1079/TheButterflyProject_93051/
Are you familiar with grounding or mindfulness tecniques? I am happy to share some of them as well if you are interested. Please reach out for anything, if I can help I am glad to do it.
@admaiorasemper thank you for the links!
ive been struggling a lot lately, so I hope these will help
Hey there @Sunsetbeyond120 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I can only really echo what has been said before me. Youa re not alone in this, we are here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you with and together we can get through this.
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark I need some advice. I am considering telling this girl I know about my issues because she has been through similar things but I have real bad trust issues as I cant trust anyone. What should I do?
Hey there @Sunsetbeyond120 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Oh...that sure is a tough question. One thing that helped me in the past was writing things down. I mean, it can help a lot to let you think through how much you would feel comfortable to share - if any - with someone like her at the moment. I mean, look at it like a letter, a letter that you would send to her and just sort of writing up a draft of what you would like to say could help to get your thoughts together better. Also, there is the added bonus that you may even just use it as a letter at the end of the day if talking just feels too hard :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark thank you I
@redmark
I'm okay, just joined this place but I have a good feeling about it.
My week has been stressfull, I just got finished performing in a concert in front of a couple hundred of judgy adults. I came out to a few people, got accepted some of the times and completely shut down other times, it's rough.
Not really except that I've been clean for a month!!!
Hey there @MoonyMoons *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
Welcome here! We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am glad to hear that you are doing okay :)
That concert does sound stressful but I am glad to hear that you have got it done. Also, coming out is such a big step and I am glad to hear that you have already found supporting and accepting people like that in your life :)
Hey, being clean for one month is awesome, I am really proud of you, you are doing an awesome job. yay! :)
Stay awesome!