Self destructive curse

I'm a self destructive person always have been I'm covered in all manners of physical scars and I've really messed up this time I cut all my friends out there was no rhyme or reason for it but I've done it and I can't eat I barely sleep. But I'll fight tooth and nail before anyone tries to send me to a facility I don't know what to do and I don't want to go through professional means because I'll probably have my nightmare come true and I might be sent to a facility.