Feeling Thoughts

Im gonna throw up. My husband came home early. He never gets home early. He almost saw he almost knew. He almost. Almost..... why didn't he?.... do I want him to?.... why?....why not?.... maybe he'd help...maybe he wouldn't... maybe he'd care and love you..... maybe he takes my babies and leaves.... maybe he gets you help..... maybe he locks me up.....maybe....maybe...... I cant breath. I want to cry but cant. I want to tell him. I want to show him. But I physically can't. I try to open my mouth but its wired shut. I try to bring my wrist to his attention. But my watch hides the damage and I cant get my hand to take it off.... I try.... I try.... he asks whats wrong... I smile... I tell him nothing. He will never know.... I physically can't tell him. My body has 14 years of programming to keep it hiden. No one will know.... I cant.... I cant....