After A Few Months Recovering I Have A Feeling I’ll Relapse Soon.

(I should mention that before you read this post, know that it is more of a rant or vent than anything, but any advice, past experiences, words of encouragement and so on are still welcome.)

The last time I self harmed was roughly two moths ago when I cut myself. The cut I used to open up repeatedly has mostly healed now and isn’t too noticeable. However I’ve noticed that I’ve been increasingly interested on making new cuts around different places, my other arm for example. I find that seeing my bare arms makes me almost want to make a cut on them even though I don’t tend to cut myself due to those reasons. My cuts are more impulsive, an in-the-moment sort of thing during a breakdown.

I originally wanted only one permanent reminder in the form of a small cut on my forearm. That’s why all of my cuts are simply just me reopening my scar. However, now I don’t know if I will continue with that plan. After a stressful relationship, mental health problems, and so on, I’ve been playing with my knife in private more often. I’m concerned that during a mental breakdown or some depression episode I’ll end up making another reminder somewhere else.