Feel like a loser
I promised my bf at the time I wouldn’t again. It’s been 10 months since I did. My ex is long gone so I don’t think my promise matters much anymore. I’m in a happier relationship now but the urge still came on strong today. I gave in. The same process. Listening to old The Used albums and reminding my left thigh of the marks that are mostly faded. I’m not excited for my partner to find out. We pretty much have a sex free relationship because he naturally has a low sex drive. So maybe I can hide them long enough to heal.
I’m drained. Depression, anxiety, and c-ptsd are heavy. One day at a time is all I can focus on right now.
@spicyavocado3788 one day at a time is the best way ❤ it's ok to relapse, don't be embarrassed or ashamed. It's not your fault you have theese health issues. And there are far worse coping methods people use than the one your using. Your doing really really well ❤ huggs you tightly
Thank you Tiny ❤️❤️ I didn’t know you were in this area of Cups. It’s comforting to see a familiar face and also one that is so uplifting and inspiring. I’m sorry if my post was negative to read. I appreciate your kind words so much ☀️
I’m going to do my best not to get back into this habit. It’s just that it feels like it “helps” in the moment. And the after burn is comforting for me. But if I think about anyone I care for marking their skin because they’re hurting so much, it makes me sooo sad. Like absolutely breaks my heart to picture someone I love feeling so alone in their depression. I need to start caring about myself as much as I care about others. It’s just difficult. ❤️
I apologize if this sounds SO heavy lol I believe I’ll be okay. It’s my greatest desire to one day overcome my demons so I can help others do the same. 🤍