I really wanna sh

The urges always come more intense I really feel like giving up the urges was so bad today in class I bad a anxiety attack or panic i dont know my chest felt tight each time I breathed in I felt like I needed more air no matter what I didn’t get in enough air my friends were worried and I felt like I lost track of time or sum

I feel like *** am so close to giving up but I have a whole *** year streak I dont wanna give up that but again I dont know how long I can keep fighting for