SH Parent Support

@tallCamp7932

I’ll be honest, I don’t have much experience from the parent side of this, but maybe a box or glass of affirmations? An album, maybe, of pictures of her happy, of reasons to live for. A letter of how life will be so much worse if she’s gone. That’s all if she self harms due to mental state or self esteem. For some people, it’s more of an addiction or crave, to feel the sting of pain or to punish themselves. In that case, a rubber band does the trick for many people. An actual rubber band can be snapped and it will give a similar sting of pain as cutting, but won’t actual cut into her skin. I heard some people also find drawing on their hand useful, drawing a line with marker instead of cutting it for the people who need the visuals. I hope this helps somewhat and the situation gets better. 

Hi tallCamp! I can’t imagine how scary that must be to be in that position and not know how to help. The process of self harm can act as an addition; the pain released during a self harm event releases endorphins and feel-good chemicals in the brain. Your daughter self harms because it provides an immediate release and often serves a purpose as a way to manage painful emotions. Often, coping skills provided to those who self-injure take longer to feel relief from the same emotion, and can seem less appealing in the beginning stages of healing from self harm. This is why it is often difficult to stick to coping skills provided and why those favor self harm.

A great resource that understands these difficulties and the complexities of self harm is Safe Alternatives, which is a nationally recognized program for those who engage in self harm.

Self harm is also an impulsive behavior, and a therapy commonly used to treat emotion and behavioral dysregulation is DBT, or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

It’s also useful for the individual to identify emotions and find coping skills to match the intensity of that emotion; throwing ice cubes against the ground is great for anger, but perhaps not sadness. That identifies the source or emotion that might prompt self harm. A lot of individuals like to keep their hands busy as well during urges, maybe holding an ice cube or playing with a fidget toy.

I know you are doing your absolute best and care so much about helping your daughter. I want to let you know you are doing amazing and, as cheesy as it sounds, to take a deep breath for yourself too. I’m proud of you just for being here and reaching out.

Send a message I think we might have a solution to that

Send a message I think we might have a solution to that