Self-Harm Rant

@ZJK I just want u to know I feel the exact same way as you. Hating and loving your scars, wanting to get better but feeling you need justification to feel this way. Recovery is a tough process but start slow. Maybe draw some doodles where you want to sh because that helps me.

I hope this helped even a tiny bit, but just remember that how ur feeling - it’s a feeling that other people go through as well and you can get through it, even if it takes a while. Youve got this (ik that doesn’t mean much)

I believe in you, we’re going through this together and we’ve both got this ❤️

@ZJK,

Sounds like your are going through some challenging time. I hear you , I know why you don't wish to stop SH, inspite of knowing that it's the best if you could. Self harm serves a purpose to each individual who do it. Like you said it's sometimes to punish yourselves, or sometimes it's to validate your struggles. Even if you want to stop, the urge to hurt yourself night will be stronger. I understand why you think so. Simply knowing that it's a slippery path doesn't seem to be a strong enough reason. And I so sorry you have to do it. Nobody deserves to go through such phases. But some fellow who stated life isn't always fair , was definitely very wise. You will feel a range of emotions when you see your scars. And each of them are equally valid. You may feel ashamed that you *had to* do it. You may look and them and feel proud that you are trying to cope with the situation. I do realize that it isn't a healthy way to cope. But it takes so much courage to simply cope with what's thrown at you. And I am very proud of you for your willingness to cope. It's is a feat of and in itself. Irrespective of what way you choose to deal with stress , simply being willing to try to cope takes souch courage. Scars reflect a lot of main and suffering, it also represent moment when you hit the rock bottom. It also represents what you went through, your willingness to keep going, you determination to cope with tough days. They are defenetly battle wounds. It's okay if you can't look at it like that all the time. It's Human. You were beautiful before you had your scars. But you are more beautiful now, those scars add a charm to your personality. Because it's shows your experience, pain , struggle , determination, courage, willingness. It's easy to hate those scars, it's tempting. But yet it's still beautiful. It makes you beautiful.

All of us crave for a person to atleast acknowledge that we are spiralling down. We deserve that validation. Also it overwhelming, once they know. Some may turn a blind I to it. And that's disheartening. While others may try to fix things. That's really kind of them. They owe my utmost respect. However I also love to have a companion to stay by me rather than a coach to help me. Talk about mixed feelings... It's easier to shut everyone out. It's souch more safer. I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I can’t stress this enough – don’t push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those people are there for you and would do anything to help you,So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you don’t let them in.You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see the pain you’re going through. you don't need to do it right away. You can do it as much as eventually as you want to. Senting hugs , cookies, love courage, strength ( you have them already, but hehe excess don't harm in this case) I see you. I notice you are struggling. It's okay. It's okay. It's always bad before it gets better. And it will get better. I promise it's worth the wait and struggle.

I can feel your pain and your basic craving to be understood and loved. Well, please let me tell you, that you are loved.....all of you. I have self harmed for over 30 years and ultimately it doesn't help and it simply hurts our souls. My beautiful husband died and he hated me self harming, so i did it at night when he was asleep. One night he came through and caught me carving up my leg. He didn't say a word but got wet wipes and dressings and cleaned up my wounds. It was one of the kindest and most profound things that he ever did for me in our 22 year marriage. It said to me that i was loved and more than that, that i was accepted. And you are too. Trust that you are loved xxxx