Slowly realizing/ admitting this not just a “bad habit”
TW: SH
Hello, I know that title may sound like it’s not “real” SH, but please believe me, it is. It is closely related to stress & anxiety. Even when it hurts I have a hard time stopping. I am not sure how to talk about this without talking about the method. I don’t think I have fully admitted to myself its SH, but everything points to that. I am feeling ashamed, embarrassed, scared, and lost. I a hoping to find coping methods & support here.
They stay, They keep fighting, they cover their arms and hide their legs and smile thru pain pretending to be okay. They live not because Its EAST because there’s a fire in them that refuse to give up.
Today wasn’t completely clean. Anxiety was very high. Tomorrow is another day right?
💙🩵 This is not easy but you are doing a really good job @TealPhotog ! 🩵💙
✨🫂 Gentle safe hugs 🫂✨
🫂Thank you Candle! 🫂
It’s a little cleaner today. I realized today that I do & have done a version of it probably since I was 5, because it helped me feel grounded. Now I know that when I get the desire to SH I need to fine a way to ground myself as the situation allows.
i am going to say I made progress today, because of this.
@TealPhotog I’m really really proud of you!!!
It as physically stressful & and clean today!
To fix the typo * not as*
@TealPhotog 🩷🩷
Ok. so I am completely clean today! I think discovering that my SH was my body telling me I need ground myself was a key in my recovery! It could also be a signal I am having an emotional flashback(EF). The book I am reading by Pete Walker has 13 steps to recovering from an active EF, the first step is saying to yourself “ I am having a flashback.” If that rings true when I have an urge, I will continue with the other 12 if it’s possible.
So, I think it’s true, my urges are my body’s signal to my brain “I am having a flashback” I was doing really good hadn’t even thought about it, till 2 different people with in 10 minutes of each other made some really judgmental comments. I noticed my urge, said “I am having a flashback” told my body several times “ I am safe here” and even explored why I had EF to quick comments that were not even towards me! So far clean today. I will finish the day strong!
@TealPhotog
Hello :-)
It's nice to see you being so self-aware! Self care and self aware are key, and identifying your triggers and choosing to address or avoid them depending on the situations. Have you tried talking to any of the free Listeners on 7Cups yet? I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Blessings, Day
I forgot to post yesterday, but I was clean yesterday and today. If I can keep this up Thursday I will use a stencil to draw my butterfly. 🦋
@TealPhotog
Congratulations!~ Great job being self-aware! Today is day 118 without any alcohol so we both have reason to be pleased with our efforts :-)
@juliak1968 congratulations!!! That’s great!
Day 3 of being completely clean! Even though there was a lot of stress & anxiety today, the urge wasn’t so bad either.
@TealPhotog Go you!!! Making some real progress dudee *virtual hugs* 🐽🫂
Almost made through day 4. I started talking about a pretty big issue I have been dealing with and didn’t realize what I was doing. Back to 0, hopefully tomorrow that will change back to 1.
I forgot to post yesterday, but I am 2 days clean today.
@TealPhotog
Congratulations!~ Today is my Day 2 not drinking alcohol and I am aiming to quit once and for all I am aiming to 200 days for now but when I get there I will likely push the goal out another 200 days.
Keep up the good self-care!
Blessings, Day
@juliak1968 keep up the good work! Congratulations!
@TealPhotog
Lets stay on goal together - I made it to 119 days but got sick and thought it would help but it made me so sick that I hurled several times. Blahk is the word I invented to describe how I felt the past 2 days. lol
Im drinking water and not going to hang-around anybody drinking