Slowly realizing/ admitting this not just a “bad habit”
TW: SH
Hello, I know that title may sound like it’s not “real” SH, but please believe me, it is. It is closely related to stress & anxiety. Even when it hurts I have a hard time stopping. I am not sure how to talk about this without talking about the method. I don’t think I have fully admitted to myself its SH, but everything points to that. I am feeling ashamed, embarrassed, scared, and lost. I a hoping to find coping methods & support here.
I had an unexpected trigger today. Back to day 0 😞
@TealPhotog oh noo! Sorry, but don’t be disheartened, lets start againn!
Thank you! As discouraging as it is, at least I was able to articulate that I was triggered, what caused it, and what I needed. It didn’t stop the action I mindlessly did, but it is a step closer.
Well, day 1 clean … again., hopefully it will last a little longer this time.
@TealPhotog
WAY TO GO!! I can tell you that it gets better quickly, You are reaching out and learning from others and bringing hope to the following thus far. So Great Work! TRIGGER WARNING I used to sh and I discovered it was a direct result of my lack of social skills and coping skills and tools because I never developed those skills for a very dysfunctional upbringing. I learned a lot of these skills right on this website because as we receive wisdom and support. we all need a support system which should be a great therapist, several Listeners until you find (a few you can stay in touch with), and Peer to peer support and at least one friend you trust, (but careful who you trust). Advocate for yourself and develop your self esteem confidence and then you will have a voice that others respect, including most importantly: yourself. I hope this all makes some sense :-)
I'm on Day 3 and having a few self-care days and so should you. Learn to love and then care for the reflection in the mirror and then you can confront your demons and move forward with the guidance of a therapist. My therapist taught me that we all very important; she said I was a son, a brother, and a father and we need those reassurances (I did). I'll check back again soon.
Blessings, Day
@juliak1968
thank you for your encouragement and reminding me I am doing at least a few things right!
& congratulations on day 3 and the self-care days!
@TealPhotog
Sending Strength!! Day 4 alcohol-free for me :-)
Blessings, Day
Day 2 clean, even with emotional flashbacks.
@TealPhotog
Congrats!!
Day 3 clean.
I have forgotten to post for a few days I am 5 days clean!
@TealPhotog
Awesome, Have you been occupying your time doing something you really enjoy? It helps to have hobbies as go-too distractions. You're doing great!~
Blessings, Day
Thanks, not really things I enjoy perse, just busy with family stuff.
I haven’t been posting much the couple of days because I have been picking up much needed hours at work so I am exhausted. Plus seasonal allergies have been kicking my tail. Anyway, 8 day clean! Tomorrow I should be able to use a stencil to draw my butterfly!
@TealPhotog
Great news! You're totally doing it!
I'm at day 10 without drinking alcohol
We both need a lot of good self-care right now, so be extra kind to yourself
Blessings, Day
@juliak1968
Congratulations! Keep up the great work! Self care is definitely a must do!
I think I am going to write a letter of Self kindness today or tomorrow.
@TealPhotog
I gained 6lbs the last time I had a self-care weekend - I ordered 2 large pizzas and stayed home
@juliak1968
sometimes comfort food it just what you need! :)
Finally mad it 10 whole days clean! Here is my stenciled butterfly. The bracelets on either side are reminders that I am safe(left) & my best is good enough to be successful (right).
@TealPhotog
Looks Great!!~ What a great way to remind yourself of your mental health growth!! It feels good to begin to understand and see the benefits from your reaching out and engaging this head on. I'm in sh recovery and its been so long I actually forgot how long (about 5 years)- That brings back memories! I am proud like you are because we seek out the answers, and then keep asking more questions.
LOOKS GREAT!~
@TealPhotog
"This feeling is temporary. I will get through this."
"I am worthy of love and support. I will reach out for help." You deserve to feel safe and cared for.
"I am strong and capable. I have faced challenges before, and I can face this one too." You are more resilient than you think.
"My pain does not define me. I am more than my struggles." Pain is a part of life, but it doesn't have to control your existence. You are a complex and worthy.
"I will focus on what I can control, my breath, my thoughts, and my actions."
"There is help available. I will find a healthy way to cope." Self-harm is not the answer. There are healthier ways to deal with difficult emotions.
"I am worthy of healing. I will take steps towards feeling better today." Start small, with one positive step towards self-care.
"I deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion, especially by myself. I choose to be gentle with myself in times of distress."
"I am not alone in this. Some people care about me and want to support me through this struggle."
"My worth is not defined by my struggles or mistakes. I am inherently valuable just as I am."
"I have the power to choose how I respond to this situation. I choose to respond with love and understanding towards myself."
"I acknowledge my pain, but I also acknowledge my capacity for healing and growth. I am worthy of healing."
"I forgive myself for any past mistakes or shortcomings. I choose to let go of self-blame and embrace self-compassion."
How’s it going guyyss…
@Sunshinexdaisy. Thanks for the reminder. I should write down / figure out a list of goals & how to celebrate them rather than one at a time. After I reached day 10 I was not as mindful as I should have been. I have forgotten to track here (obviously) & I have only had one clean day since. Starting over again today.
