a vent I guess? just getting some emotions off my chest.

i seriously regret even telling anyone about my self-harming. i feel as if i can't escape it. my mom's friend's daughter was self-harming and my mom and her friend were talking about it. later that day she came in my room and told me about it she said "hers was worse than yours it was way deeper" now that's all I think about. how am I supposed to take that? she also asked if i still self harmed. i really thought she cared and understood now i don't know it feels as if she doesn't care. I literally can't i hate this house. my dad just makes it worse. turns out he didn't even know I was self-harming for years. I knew i wasn't the favorite but damn you can't even realize you own child is self-harming? it's not like I hid it well. he wonders why i don't talk to him. i really hate him yet i still want to make him proud even after he literally replaced me. he's the cause of so many of my problems yet i still cant bring myself to hate him. i hate it.