every day is worse
sorry for posting so much lol.
i think im 2 days clean, mayyybe 3. somehow. im not making much of an effort, but i need new tools and im too lazy to bother with that which is the main reason ive been days without it. they’re too dull and not affecting me much.
days keep getting worse. i literally have the thought at the end of each day that this was my bad day of the week and the rest will be fine. but it keeps. getting. worse.
today i had an overwhelming traumatic experience i don’t really want to go in detail about. makes me want to sh. just the whole thing was so horrible and i know im gonna get more anxious and messed up because of it. which makes more people mad at me. i messed up, i ruined the night, and i have to wait until tuesday to talk about it. thinking about it, it already feels like a weird dream. it’s foggy.
it’s raining, i got early xmas gifts from my grandma, i had a peppermint mocha today… good things of course so i feel like im wrong to feel bad rn, but after that event i just feel off, and like i ruined everything. i don’t think ive ever felt so horrible in my life as i did in that moment. idk, maybe.
hope im not venting to no one over here. i know this community isn’t super active so yeah
hi im sorry you feel that way. i know what its like to feel worse everyday but you also blame yourself for feeling bad cause it wasnt a bad day. but its okay to feel this way and if you want to talk about it im here
@iamdiane thanks. yeah well id definitely qualify this as a bad day because of the whole event but yeah i still do feel bad about feeling bad i guess. seeing as your a member we can only chat here but thanks for offering support :)