getting bad again

kind of a vent to anyone but it’s getting bad again, i’ll have a bad day at school or get into arguments with people and it makes me get low i end up just feeling lost and alone and that’s when i get bad thoughts. i was 5 months clean now ive restarted again, it’s a bad cycle and i want to stop but little things help trigger it. i want to get help for it and i want to stop but i don’t know where to go or who to go to i can’t tell my parents, they already have enough problems of their own i wouldn’t want to dump mine in them aswell