how?

I have been in this place. And i am still going It might sound brutal, but in order to recover from all of this, I removed my emotions. I convinced myself that if I didn't feel anything, I would stop being sad.

I haven't cried in five years. Whenever I feel hurt, I just tell myself, *"It's fine. I can handle more pain."* Maybe other people can't, but I can. And I tell myself that's okay.

I feel like I can take all the pain in the world and still refuse to break. Even if I cut myself or burn myself, I'd still make it through. Because I am **me**. And nobody can be me.

I don't tell my family or friends how I feel because I don't want to become someone who dumps their trauma onto others. But I will always listen to theirs. I can carry their pain, stay kind, and keep smiling, even when I'm hurting myself.

Then there are days when I can't take it anymore. So I binge-watch something and let myself disappear into another world. I imagine that someday, someone will walk into my life and love me in a way that changes my perspective—someone who reminds me that not every ending has to hurt.

THIS I THINK WON'T BE A GOOD ADVICE. But this is what i have been doing. I am not saying you will recover. But maybe you get the strength to not be scared of your pain and sad memories.