Starting Over (Trigger Warning)
Today I cleaned my wounds. The hot water really stung at first but that's what I get for taking care of myself (sorry if that sounds odd, I'm hella tired and don't know how to do words haha). The soap felt really wierd, and gently scrubbing the dried blood off of me was kinda painful, but I'd rather go through 2 extra minutes of pain than a hip infection.
I'm going to try my best to let these wounds heal before my next relapse (I know it'll happen again at some point, but I'll try my best to hold back for as long as I can). I want to start over (Again...). My goal is to be 2 days clean and then gradually add 1 day every time I reach my goal, so like once I'm 2 days clean, I'll aim for 3 days then 4 and so on. I'm already down to hurting myself just once a day. Hopefully I can keep myself distracted long enough to be even 1 day clean!
Sorry for the rant, I'm really tired and my stress levels are through the roof, my friends and I literally got together to help each other out with assignments and called it a "Stress Party" hahhah. Thank goodness I was with them this evening to keep me distracted, I tend to hurt myself most when I'm in this state.
I can't wait for my first therapy appointment! It's just a little over 2 weeks away! It's the first time I've gone since I was a young teen and I really hope it will work this time!
Ok, that's enough from me for now, I really have to go to sleep haha, G'night! :)
@CentreMid
Heya!
Im super proud of you for trying your best and it seems like a very good idea to take it slow like that! One step at a time <3
I believe in you! And if at any point you need to chat or brainstorm new distraction ideas, feel free to reach out, were here for you and all heart with you and this goal! I also hope that your therapy appointment will go well and work! (if I might share my experience, don't hesitate to give it a few tries at first!)
I hope you got some good rest and are less stressed, take care!